Why do I feel like I'm back in high school, going up to a lunch table of 'cool kids' and asking 'um, is it okay if I sit here?' LOL! I've been out of high school for 30+ years, thank goodness!

I found 3FC totally by accident a couple of weeks ago. I've been reading some of the posts and forums and if there's room at this table, I think I'll slide in here ...

Here's my deal: I'm 51 years old, which totally freaks me out because I still think I'm about 43; I live in Chicago and have all my life; I have a little house on a big lot and cultivate wild, overgrowing sorts of stuff there, as well as encouraging the local urban wildlife. I work in corporate America, which also freaks me out because I never meant for that to happen.

I really am a crazy dog lady; I have 5 Shelties, of which I raised 3 from pups and adopted the other 2 from rescue -- the two adoptees are old guys that were 'unadoptable.' I love old dogs. I find them to be wise and restful, as a rule. One of my senior rescues has Buddha nature, which I knew when I saw his photo on the website and applied for him.

I'm not married, have never been, and have had my share of relationships, good and bad, with various men over the years. A friend who cast my horoscope about 10 years ago said 'you probably won't ever get married, there just are no planets in your house of relationships and partnerships.' I knew from the time I was a kid that I was going to stay single. It's really comfortable now but it wasn't always.

My passion is the written word. I read voraciously -- grew up with no TV in the house -- and I want to write for a living, and I even dream in words. Never met anyone else who admits to that!

I'm tall (5'10") and have always been not-skinny, but since I stopped smoking 8 years ago, I have been gaining weight at the rate of about 5 pounds a year. So at the first of the year I joined WW, with my sister, who is 55 and needs to lose a bit more than I do. I topped out at 221 and want to weigh 170. So far I've lost 19 pounds and am down to 202.

I don't know what's 'alternative' about me except that I am fond of the values (and music!) of the 1960's and 1970's, I rejected any belief in a paternalistic god about 5 years ago, I try to adhere to Buddhist teachings but I don't have a practice, and I think that intuition is as valid a form of energy as electricity.

So hi. Um, is it okay if I sit here?

Hi there CrazyDogLady! And Welcome! There's always a place to sit here.

I am 28 and single (have had one very serious relationship that ended in an engagement), and I live in Colorado. I am about to begin a new life as a working professional, and I figure this is a good time to re-start my newfound relationship with food.

Do you have a specific idea in mind for how to lose your weight? I have tried several different plans, and so far none has stuck. I was talking to a friend a few days ago, and mentioned to him that right now, I have to fight a mental fight before I can begin a physical fight. Did you struggle with this step, too? If so, how did you win?

Hope your day is going well, and I hope you'll come back and chat more!

Hi, and thanks for the welcome.

I do have a plan, actually, and now that I think about your question, yes, I did struggle with it mentally for a long time before I finally put it into effect. I did the same thing about quitting smoking; before I stopped for good, in 1999, I tried to avoid and ignore a lot of the uncomfortable truths about my habit.

My food plan has two main points: One, I need to avoid processed foods as much as possible and I absolutely need to avoid wheat products, since I seem to have acquired, in middle age, an allergy to wheat. I suspect a mycotoxin, which also addresses my recently-diagnosed allergic asthma, so I finally stopped eating wheat, in January, and immediately noticed that my lungs are much happier. My body runs better when I eat real foods and avoid wheat.

The second point is mental, and that is that I want to stop using food to express my emotions, particularly anger. It might mean seeing a therapist, which I have never done, but which I am certainly willing to do. All of my life, just about, I have dealt with emotions by eating. It's time that I got that habit, which is quite destructive to ME, channeled into something else. I'm still working on that!

The WW program suits me and I expect to be on it for pretty much the rest of my life, although I hope that in years to come it will be in the background and not the foreground of my life.

I joined WW in January because I absolutely could not believe that I was 45 pounds overweight. When it was 10, and 20, and 25, I could stall on doing anything about it, but that number on the scale absolutely appalled me. And my dad died when he was 68, of a massive heart attack, so my health is a consideration too. Thus, off to the WW meetings I go, every Sunday morning. So far, so good! How about you -- what are you considering or what have you rejected in your consideration of this topic?

Hi CrazyDogLady! There is always room!

Thanks for your reply.

I have struggled with my weight ever since I was a young child, so I have tried many many things, some of which have worked, and some of which have not. I tried WW after my mom successfully lost 65 pounds with them over the course of a year. They work well for me, I just can't do it right now because I can't really afford it (that's another story for another day). Last year, I got into some trouble with dieting on a plan that worked, but completely screwed up my head.

I was having fewer than 700 calories per day, and also exercising 2-4 hours every day. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but at the time, I had convinced myself it was the best thing to do. And it worked, which reinforced my decision to try such a plan. Anyway, I lost about 40 pounds in about 2-3 months, which was great, but I started to get really scared because I was afraid to eat anything. Also, I was constantly terrified that if I ate one thing that I normally didn't allow myself (a piece of bread, for instance) that I would gain everything back overnight (literally). So, I mentioned it to my doctor, who put me in a program with a therapist and a nutritionist... and, many months later, I was back to eating normally. The only problem was, normally, for me, meant emotional eating. Since then, I have gained back at least 30 of what I had originally lost, and I'm more unhappy than ever before.

This time, I don't know what my plan is. Obviously, it has to be something I can live with forever. Because of that, I'm leaning toward a common sense diet. Eating lots of powerfoods like raw vegetables and grilled/baked chicken and fish. Also, I've found that severely restricting the foods that I eat tends to make me miserable, and therefore I don't plan to do that ever again. I think part of my problem is that I'm not very realistic with myself. I need to figure out a way to be honest with myself before I begin any sort of plan.

Good luck with WW! It's the best plan I've found so far, and it has certainly worked for my mom. If I could afford it, I'd be doing it right now!

700 calories a day and 2-4 hours exercise -- if by 'ridiculous' you mean 'something no one else has ever done' then I have to disagree. LOL! I got into a very similar pattern in my 20's. I was always chunky when I was a kid; I have a big ribcage and no waist to speak of and I was never what I considered thin. So when I moved out of my parents' house, I lost 25 pounds and became obssessively aware of what I ate, and I went to the gym 5 days a week and also cycled about 150 miles a week. I was in fantastic shape. It was totally unnatural for my body type, and to maintain it I could NOT eat more than 1100 calories a day. But I enjoyed a couple of years of being really 'hot' and breaking hearts (since I was too emotionally messed up to have any real relationship with a guy).

Finally I got into a 7-year, dead-end relationship with an alcoholic guy and I let go of the 'thin thing' and spent my 30's at a good weight, but was preoccupied with all my other life crises. If it's not one damn thing, it's another!

I must say, I find being in my 50's to be enormously relaxing in many ways. As a close girlfriend said last year when she turned 50 -- 'Now I can admit I'm not a hottie and I never will be and who the **** cares!' I like middle age. I just plan to like it more in a smaller pants size.

Good luck with finding something that will work for you. I really think that when we are truly ready, just about anything works ... and when we're not truly ready, nothing works. And if I knew how to get to the 'truly ready' state of mind, I'd be a miracle worker. I am hoping like heck that a daily yoga and meditation practice will get me there and keep me there.

Peace.

Welcome crazydoglady!