I am very new to all of this. My husband and I have been married for seven years. He has been diagnosed with cancer, and our lives have changed dramatically in the last 18 months. We are under tremendous financial and emotional stress right now. I know I am using food to fill the voids in my life right now; but I feel helpless to stop my self. I guess I need some inspiration and direction.

You are going through a lot, no wonder the stress! I'm so sorry to hear this. I know I too often turn to food when under stress.

One of the things that does help me is to get away by myself when I feel tempted to eat and read something inspirational and faith building...my Bible, or an inspirational book or magazine article..anythng that helps me to clear my mind of anxiety, fear, confusion and focus on calmness, and peace. I love to read but I also like to eat and read but for some reason when I read these kinds of things I do not eat. Sometimes I do make a cup of herbal tea and sip it as I read though. I sometimes have to force myself to focus on what I'm reading and stop and meditate (in my case it is prayer) on it now and then. Sometimes I have been known to have to do this several times a day or even an evening.

Other ideas: do you have a support group (for the health issue) where you could find an outlet for your emotions with others who are going through the same things. They might be able to give you some ideas in how to cope both emotionally and financially. Are there any organizations or professional people who could/would help you financially? Perhaps your doctor could point you to a group. Churches often offer small groups where people support one another on various issues. I know you are struggling financially too, but would it be possible for you to get away for a few hours and be with a friend doing something simple even...just to distract your mind...walk together, go to a park, window shop (if you enjoy that without it depressing you...I can find it depressing!).

I'm sure there are others who wil have ideas too. I'm new here but already sense the caring support of this forum. I'm sure you can come on here and vent anytime you want. We are here to support you.

Hey, I am so sorry! What a hard time to be living through! I hope you both come out strong!

That said, maybe trying to lose weight at this time would just be adding even more stress, which you most likely don't need.

I'd say, try to maintain your weight--watch what you eat--don't let yourself go crazy on foods, but at the same time, don't add to your burden by trying to lose. You need all your strength for coping with your life situation, I'd say.

One thing that might help reduce your stress is physical activity. Can you take walks? Join a YMCA class? Check out some exercise videos from the library, like Walk Away The Pounds? This is a great strategy for feeling better and controlling weight.

Hang in there...

Jay

It may be a great time to journal your feelings about everything that is going on, and how it is affecting you. I know that has worked for me...you can start something on the computer or in a notebook. Spending time on 3fc versus eating might help, too.

You need to take care of yourself to be strong for your husband! I will keep you both in my prayers...Bethz

Bichonmama,

A few years ago my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. Not the same as a husband, but she is divorced with two kids and really needed a partner, so I was it.

I found it was essential to find a couple of people who would take care of me. An occasional evening away (talking about anything but her illness) worked wonders. Caretakers need some care too.

Food doesn't really do it, though it is fast and ever present. For me (and oh yes I found the chocolate) it just ended up making me more depressed because then I felt bad about myself!

If you can manage it, laughter was the best remedy. We watched funny movies and made jokes about everything. (Some of it was pretty sick humor, but we laughed!)

Take care of yourself, without that you will not be able to care for your husband.

I will keep you both in my prayers.

Pandora

Bichonmama...my thoughts are definately with you. I know this may sound all "new age", but have you tried yoga or yogilates? (I adore Jonathan Urla's yogilates dvds) When I am stressed out in the afternoons after working with insane clients, I find that it REALLY helps me to "destress" and focus on the good things. Any time I feel like I'm going to explode, it does the trick. (Life since Katrina has been just plain "weird" and yoga helped get me through it all)

You have to keep in mind that the healthier YOU are the better you will be for your husband .

BTW, I used to be a Bichonmama myself. Her name was Beignet and she was my heart.

Bichon-

I am so sorry for this stressful time you are going through. I agree that nice relaxing physical activity can help to ease the stress sometimes. I also agree that laughter is so wonderful in alleviating stress and bringing some light back into dark days. You guys are in my heart. Stay strong!