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Old 05-16-2007, 11:02 AM   #151  
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Well, I managed to get in a bike ride between rain storms last night. I've been really dedicated to my bike riding, you know? And to eating right - low calorie, high fiber, etc., etc. I think I've been doing pretty well. I've been feeling pretty good about myself.

I got up, took my bath, got dressed for work this morning, and just happened to catch a glimpse, in the bathroom mirror, of myself from the side. I looked THICK! I grabbed my small make-up mirror, and went into the full-length bedroom mirror, and looked at myself from the rear & side.

Auuurrrgh.

Horrible.

And I was feeling SO good, you know? Feeling like I had REALLY made some progress, was REALLY looking so much better these days.

And, the sad part of it is, is that I AM 19 pounds thinner than I started out.
What WAS I looking like??????

I am not a person who carries excess weight well. I'm 5'6, and have always thought of myself as relatively tall - and big-boned. The truth of the matter is that I'm NOT all that tall, and my bones are not BIG - they're probably small, actually. An extra couple of pounds on me looks like TEN pounds on other people. Seriously. I have a girlfriend who is 5'7 and weighs 190 - even gets up to 200 from time to time, and always looks tall and statuesque - she does NOT look heavy one bit. Some people just carry their weight better than others.

Oh, I'm disgusted - and a little discouraged, yes. I wish I could take a magic pill or something, and drop another 20 pounds overnight. I KNOW I can't do that, and I WILL stay committed to my eating & exercise plan, but I've got to say that I absolutely HATE how I am (still) looking, and can't even BEAR the thoughts of how I was looking a couple of months ago. I can't even imagine, frankly, how DH has continued to care about me, the way I've been looking.

I'm sure I'll manage to perk up tomorrow - or the next day - and get past this, but I was just feeling so GOOD, and then when I saw how I REALLY look, I could've cried.

Now, I want to just cut out eating altogether, but I get hungry!!!!!!!

Blah!

Gotta go; on top of the disturbing mirror experience, when I went out to drive off to work, one of my brand new front tires was flat! AAA just came & fixed it; there was a nail in it. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Have a good day, all!!!

Ella

Ella,
When you find that magic pill... you better share it!!

I am in exactly the same place as you It really is a disapointment to even look in the mirror. Be Glad you are so tall. You have almost a half foot over me. YuK! Small boned, Large boned! I am still fat!

Had my hubby take a pic of me and dd. To see how much we look different. I lost 14 since march 1st. I don't see ANY DIFFERENCE!
But. Hubby says he does.
One good thing... Aren't you getting a better fit in your clothes? I have to say, I am. even if its a small amount.

I think my hardest problem is just to be patient. It will come off! Just not as fast as we want it to.
I have been kind of low all week... thinking the same things as you.
any way... Keep up the hard work. I know I will!




I just got home from Curves. day 3 this week. I am going to start going more often. And I am doing my 3 machines most days. And trying to keep my calories about 14-1500.

I am getting off for now. will be back later.

EVERYONE! HAVE A SUNNY DAY, FULL OF OPTIMISM. it will get better!
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Old 05-16-2007, 11:34 AM   #152  
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Hi Theresa (and all) -

First, thank you SO much, Theresa, for responding the way you did. It really helps! Really!
My DH says things like, "You look GOOD...", etc., etc., but then after looking in the mirror this morning, I've got to wonder if he was looking at me through his reading glasses (and saw nothing but a big blur) or something. I do NOT look GOOD, and that's the truth.
I was even thinking about having him take a pic of me on my bike to post here. I must've been crazy. Talk about distorted body image!!!! Good gawd!!!!
YES, though, the ONE positive thing really IS that my clothes - even the ones that were snug a few months back - are pretty loose now.(Makes me even more embarrassed to think of how I WAS looking).
But you are absolutely right - the solution is to keep on keeping on. (Thanx for the will power dust, btw)
You know, I'm almost scared to eat LESS than I have been, because I'm afraid my body will switch into "starvation mode" and start trying to hold onto the fat - and I'm scared to eat MORE, because I'm afraid I won't burn it off, and will GAIN weight. Theresa, you're doing SO well with the exercise! So far, I've been feeling pretty virtuous because I don't ever miss a day on the bike. I guess more is called for, though, and it's getting close to the time when I had better get involved in a gym - get involved in some kind of formalized exercise program. I'll start checking them out around where I live.
Thanks again for the encouragement - I KNOW we'll beat this, and doing it together sure is a lot better than trying to do it alone!

Have a good day, all!

Ella
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Old 05-16-2007, 12:28 PM   #153  
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I do NOT look GOOD, and that's the truth...
Sounds like you got a case of the "epizoodics" to me...a great big BLAH feeling. Ok, Dr. Femme here with a remedy..
Time to treat yourself! When I get a case of it, it's time to go get a manicure, pedicure, or new makeup or a new hair style or something...something that I don't have to share with anyone that is just for me as a pick-me-up that gives instant gratification!

I'm sure you don't look 1/2 as bad as you think you do to others...and hey, there are VERY FEW people in this world that look all that great "nekkid"! How we see ourselves and what other people see is usually 2 different things.

***As you go about your day, look at everyone you see out on the street, in the grocery store, or wherever...Now, imagine what each of them looks like without clothes on.."ain't too pretty is it?"...Now, don't you feel better about yourself?? And shame on you for giggling in public..all those people probably thought you've lost your mind!

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Old 05-16-2007, 01:15 PM   #154  
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Ella my dear friend -- Theresa and Femme said it all quite well all I can do is add one piece of advice --- DON'T LOOK IN THE MIRROR SIDEWAYS!!!

Funny thing is I did just that this morning - ok we are all girls here -- right??? I got dressed in my favourite black bra and panties and started to do my makeup -- looking at myself -- all 233 pounds on a HUGE 5'7" frame feeling pretty not bad with myself. I turned sideways and was grateful I didn't have my contacts in yet -- all I saw was this huge fleshy blurb with two black things on -- QUICK turn back the other way -- ahhhh that's a bit better LOL

Unless you check me out sideways I am a bit like your friend I guess. I have an hourglass figure -- no matter my size my waist is always 10" smaller than my bust and hips and they are always both the same size. I am huge boned -- I wear several gold bracelets and I always have to buy anklets and have them cut down or links added to regular bracelets. My wrist is 7.5" - there is nothing small about me nor will there ever be. That is just how it is and I am blessed to have a spouse that loves me even at my largest. Last year when I put on 40 pounds he couldn't see it. One day I had to pull out his favourite (on me) pair of jeans. I strained to put them on and was unable to do them up by about 4" -- he finally accepted I had put on weight but he didn't care.

Revel in the fact you have a loving husband that just sees his beautiful bride.

jumping off now LOL.

Have a great day everyone and Ella -- keep on biking I will keep on bootcamping
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Old 05-16-2007, 02:24 PM   #155  
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I finally was able to find the wireless signal in the hotel here (owned by J&J, by the way) in new brunswick. I had to go down to the lobby with my laptop...it wouldn't work in the room. So far a good exciting conference on health, safety and environmental issues. They are feeding us way way too much food...but I have been down to the fitness center and pool twice. The most inspiring speaker so far has been the Environmental Consevation Corps form washingto DC. they recruit young adults and teens from the worst section of DC (Called Anocondia) and train them to work on cleaing up the Anicondia River in that part of the city. 60 Minutes did a segment on them a few years ago. They then help the kids get jobs or go on to college or trade school.

Ella...don't look in any more mirrors. keep feeling those loose clothes and accept those compliments from your family graciously. You've lost a significant amount of weight. Feel proud!!

I got a call from my sister-in-law this am and my brother-in-law is in intensive care on LI. My DH will be driving down here to meet me so that we can go to LI this weekend. So, had to make an emergency call to our neighbor to take care of our cats this weekend. Ah, life is always a challange. At noon I found out my Brother in Law (Rich) is out of intensive care and doing better. So that's a relief. I'll check in later.

Lyn
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Old 05-16-2007, 02:38 PM   #156  
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Ok, Dr. Femme here with a remedy..
...and hey, there are VERY FEW people in this world that look all that great "nekkid"! How we see ourselves and what other people see is usually 2 different things.

***As you go about your day, look at everyone you see out on the street, in the grocery store, or wherever...Now, imagine what each of them looks like without clothes on.."ain't too pretty is it?"...Now, don't you feel better about yourself?? And shame on you for giggling in public..all those people probably thought you've lost your mind!
Thank you, Doctor Phil...ummm...Femme!!!!! Actually, there's just ONE little problem. I WASN'T NEKKID!!!!! No, Ma'am. I was fully dressed, and looking (or so I THOUGHT) pretty svelte and streamlined. My HAIR wasn't doing exactly what I wanted, and that's why I was checking it (my HAIR) out from the back & sides - and unintentionally caught a glimpse of my upper body in the process, clad in my "cute little cocoa brown linen jacket, dark brown "dressy" tank, long (calf-length) A-line dark brown linen skirt, multi-brown beaded necklace & earrings, and SOOO cute little brown sandals with a beaded medallion in front, and medium-height little heels. I mean, for a woman my age, I'm SOOOO "kewl" and "with it", while at the same time, classy, RIGHT????? Oh, SURE! Once I checked it ALL out, head-to-toe, back, front & sides, I had to conclude that there wasn't anything SVELTE or STREAMLINED about me...I was a multi-shaded brown BLOB, period, and thank you very much! And NOT looking in the mirror sideways? Well, Joanne my darling friend, that advice has come just a tad too late, I'm afraid. I looked, I saw, I shuddered in horror . Big BONES! That's what I want! Great big bones that would CARRY this added fat gracefully. Forty pounds on YOU may be undetectable - on ME, it looks like a hundred, and that's the stone cold truth - not an exaggeration at all!!!!

Yes, Dr. Phil....ummmm...I mean Femme.... you're absolutely right. This IS the time to do something - ANYTHING - SOME kind of self-affirmation for myself. My daughter gave me a $150 gift certificate for my birthday to my favorite hair salon & spa, and do you know I've yet to even call for an appointment? I'm calling today. I also went online and signed up for a preliminary appointment at Curves - which is only a couple of miles from my house. No excuse at all not to.

AND, I will STILL imagine people that I see day-to-day as nekkid. Problem with that is that the skinny ones just make me feel WORSE.

But, upward (or in our cases, I guess, downward and onward...we shall overcome, and all that.

Thanks, GOLDEN GIRLIES - YOU HAVE HELPED ME sooo MUCH!!!!!


TTFN,

Ella
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Old 05-16-2007, 03:48 PM   #157  
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Hi Ella, a BIG CONGRATULATIONS on sticking to your plan on Mother's Day. No wonder you've lost all that weight. I try to do something "fun" everyday as part of my weight loss program. I figured out some time ago that if I don't feed the child in me, the child in me will feed on food. About you NOT being tall - I'm 5'1" everything is relative.

Ella & Theresa, Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, Let's drop that negative talk immediately. Just from getting to know you on this website, I can't imagine how anyone could NOT care about you. Trust me, if you don't love your body, your body will turn on you. Give yourself a big HUG and tell that body that you love it.

Hi Bobbi, how was the rummage sale?

Hi Phyllis, you're leaving for vacation this weekend & I leave for vacation the next weekend. I'll still be online - my course will still be going on so I had to make sure the hotel has wireless internet access.

Hi Joanne, I was a good girl & got my mammogram - they haven't improved the process since my last one (3 yrs ago) - still hurts. However, I feel righteous getting it over with.

Hi Femmecreole, how great to teach kindergarden. I'll bet they pick up the computer stuff really fast. I've done some work this semester for a University in Pittsburgh observing prospective teachers. One of them (around the Valley Forge area) works in a school that is just kindergarden classes. Cutest thing to see these little ones.

Hi Wanda, have a nice weekend.

Hi Lyn, I'm not far from New Brunswick. My best friend lives around the corner from where you were. Sorry about your BIL - glad he's out of intensive care.

I don't know if it's the weather (sun and great temps), or Spring, or what is doing it, but I've been REALLY motivated this week - maybe it was the splurge on Mother's Day;-))

I've put together a spreadsheet for myself so that I can easily analyze how the carbs at each meal and the exercise are affecting the blood sugar. I'm treating myself as a scientific experiment - actually VERY interesting. So far, no pattern is emerging, but it's only been 3 days. I have been advised it takes about 3 weeks for patterns to emerge.

BTW - went riding yesterday & was not so sore today. I took a hot bath as soon as I got home. I guess it worked.

Hope everyone has a happy and healthy day - HUG those bodies,

Lynn
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Old 05-16-2007, 04:52 PM   #158  
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Lyn, Lyn, Lyn.....I am at that "The truth will set you free" stage. I'll take all the hugs I can get (Including my own) but if I LOVED this body so much, I wouldn't be here - and wouldn't have met all of you great GOLDEN GIRLS. BUT, having said THAT, that's about the only GOOD thing that this body in its current state has to say for itself. You betcha I'm committed to changing it! I think it's great to love who and what you are, and I DO love me for WHO I am - a caring, supportive and loving spouse with a good sense of humor; a good mother (or so my kids seem to think); a good grandmama - or "Oohmama" as the grandkids call me; good at my job, respected in my field, and liked, I think, by my colleagues and friends. But this BODY has got to go! I do NOT love it one little bit, and that's the truth. Okay, I have nice, slim ankles. You know what THAT looks like when the rest of you is overweight? You look like a FLAMINGO, that's what!!!!! Long, stick legs and a BIG BODY! I DO like my body at 140-150 pounds. SO, that's my goal. I said 150 so I wouldn't overwhelm myself right off the bat, but 140 would be better. We'll see. I just know that I can't stay like THIS!

I AM feeling better, though. I LOVE the GOLDEN GIRLS!!!!! There's no better group on 3FC! Just being able to kvetch and complain if I feel like it - and know that others sometimes feel the same way, and yet we're sticking with it, going to DO it - well, it just doesn't get much better than that, does it?

And, Dr. Femme, I'm so glad you joined us!

Lyn, your post criss-crossed mine, I think, but thanks for the words. They help. All of it helps. And you know what? The OTHER thing is that I want to be there for the rest of you when you have a cruddy day, too!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Ella
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Old 05-16-2007, 05:01 PM   #159  
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Hi Girls
Girls,
Don’t you just love that hubby of yours?
It is so wonderful to have one that can look at you and not care if you put on weight.
I am also lucky.


So... I WILL be happy.

It’s all relevant. I can be fat happy or fat sad.
I AM CHOOSING. Fat HAPPY. Fat and sassy!

Oh! And No more side ways pics for a while.


Femme,
Quote:
***As you go about your day, look at everyone you see out on the street, in the grocery store, or wherever...Now, imagine what each of them looks like without clothes on.."ain't too pretty is it?"...Now, don't you feel better about yourself?? And shame on you for giggling in public..all those people probably thought you've lost your mind!***
Thanks for the giggle.

You are right; I am going to do something special for ME.

I have the big 5-0 in July. And 1 graduation in June. And my dd and dgd birthday also inJuly.
So……I am going to buy a new out fit.

For the parties. Something to make ME feel sexy… even if I am short and chubby.


Joanne,
I am officially removing the full length mirror that I actually put in my kitchen in March.
So I would remember WHY I am working so hard. What a dummy.
It is bringing me down.


Lyn,
I am glad to hear your brother in-law is feeling better.
Sounds like you are having a blast at your convention. Keep on making to the gym and pool. That pool sounds like fun.


Ella,
You will love Curves
. Once I got over working out in public it was great. I am going to go 4 times a week now.
I MUST loose this weight. Curves is the kind of place that you get what you put into it.

Lynn,
Hugs to you.
tell me like it is. I NEED to here it. I am glad to hear you are so motivated! Maybe we all need that splurge once a month.
Did you find the Dietician yet?

Femme,
You teach computers. Wow! That’s a class I want to take. LOL. You don’t live in Ohio, do ya?


Bobby,
You said you look like your mom. That’s not always so bad. I bet she was just as cute as you. I have been told I look like my Grandma!

I know you are loving what you are doing today. I worked at an Auction house last summer. It was fun going thru people’s things and getting it ready for auction. I just love antiques. Some day I will have more of them.

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Old 05-16-2007, 05:11 PM   #160  
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Ella,
You are not the only FLAMINGO!
Just last week the lady next door told me I have great ankles too.
I always said I look like a top. Or a sumo wrestler,
Add the DD chest. I might just fall over yet. Well they were dd two months ago. Now my bra cups are getting wrinkles. Better the bra than my face.
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Old 05-16-2007, 08:45 PM   #161  
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I've put together a spreadsheet for myself so that I can easily analyze how the carbs at each meal and the exercise are affecting the blood sugar. I'm treating myself as a scientific experiment - actually VERY interesting.
I've been trying to keep track of how foods affect me too. I started on Phase 2 of South Beach about 2 weeks ago. The first time I had whole wheat pasta, it made me sleepy. Then a few days later I had some brown rice..might as well have been Nytol. The "white" version of those foods is something I had one or the other of every day before I started this diet and it never made me sleepy. We eat our main meal around 2-3 each day (my husband gets off at 1:45 every day and is starving when he gets home..I get off at 12:30, so it works out well to have our "big" meal at that time) But I think I really have to watch the pasta and rice or I'll be draped across this computer snoring when I'm supposed to be working at my p.m. job. I guess a little more testing may be in order before I give up either of them on weekdays.
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Old 05-17-2007, 09:11 AM   #162  
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Hi Ella, <<<<<HUGS>>>>>

Hi Theresa, I'm working on finding a dietitian & an endocrinologist. Whoever said these were the Golden Years was color blind!

Hi Femme, Hmmm sleepy from brown rice - I just did a Google on this - brown rice has tryptophan. Tryptophan has the effect of pulling the blood away from your brain to help your digestive tract do its work and increase the efficience of the sugar/insulin effect. Interesting.

Today I go to do my last teacher observation. Then I will be finished with this job! The school is the one near Valley Forge with only kindergarden classrooms.

Yesterday was the dermatologist - burned one spot off my face & scheduled a surgical procedure for one on my back. Fun, fun, fun.
Hopefully, tomorrow will be scrapping.

I'm DoInG tHe HaPpY dAnCe for me.
I got to move my sticker this morning. It's just 1 lb., but it's the first move in around a month. YEA!!!! Imagine that - increase exercise and decrease calories and I lose weight. What a concept!

Hope we all have a happy and healthy day,

Lynn
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Old 05-17-2007, 10:30 AM   #163  
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HI everyone, this will be my last post for a few days until we get settled up in Ohio and I will try to check in, like Lynn, I made sure the hotel has wireless.

I received some very good news from my Kidney Dr. yesterday. My kidney function is UP by 2 points. So Now my kidney function is 20% and hopefully I can keep it there for years. She said keep on doing what your doing and I had lost 2 lbs.

So we are taking the laptop and walking DVD with us and I plan on doing it everyday that we are settled in our motel in Ohio and Kentucky. I must drink lots of fluids to keep kidneys hydrated so I told my dh we will be stopping every hour for the bathroom!!! lol

I have lost my mini vacation weight and back to my ticker and I am aiming for not gaining more than 2 lbs on vacation.....wish me luck!

Oh, the first night we will be in Savanna, Georgia.....eating at Paula Deens...I'll gain 2 lbs. the first night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will check in next week.....Be good ya all!!!!

Phyllis
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Old 05-17-2007, 10:30 AM   #164  
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Hiya Lynn...(and everybody)

Please note that when I started my (last?) post with "Lyn, Lyn, Lyn..." what I MEANT was "Lynn, Lynn, Lynn..." LOOK! You & I are at the exact same weight now, and we have the exact same goal! Okay, not really WORLD-SHAKING, but I just noticed that! Congrats on the pound, by the way! Feels good, doesn't it? And as arbitrary and cruel - and downright wrong - the scales can sometimes be, it STILL feels awfully good when they show a loss, doesn't it?

PAULA - I hope your Dad is doing better.

Joanne? Where are you? (She's probably stuck in some Twilight Zone episode where Bootcamp never ends....) Come back, Jooooaaaaaannnnnne!!!!

Hey Bobbi! I KNOW you're enjoying that attic-exploration! I would, too! It's something of an archaeological expedition, isn't it? Finding things, long untouched, that people once used and wore and created in the past? I've always been intensely curious about the lives of ancestors - and just people in general. There's been quite an extensive geneaological search done of my father's family - tracing it back to 16th century England, and then through the 15th century in Scotland - back to France - and ultimately to Germany in the 1300's. All it is is names & dates of birth, marriages, children, death, etc. Dry and dull. No personalities, no sense of who they were, how they lived, what they thought. But, when you find artifacts, you DO get a sense of who the person was, don't you? I often think about MY parents, both of whom are long dead, and their personalities, interests, and relationships OUTSIDE of being parents. We only saw/remember them in one role, when, like us, they really had many roles.

Well, Massachusetts is finally getting deluged with thunder & lightening & rainstorms - which are supposed to last, on and off, throughout the weekend. Since I couldn't ride my bike outside yesterday, I used the Trimrider, and surprised myself by being able to do 110 repetitions without any problem. I guess the bike riding really IS accomplishing something, since the last time i was on the Trimrider, I was really pushing to get to 80! Now, mind you, that doesn't make me feel one iota better about what I saw in the mirror yesterday ( ) but I AM feeling like I'm at least making some progress, here.

Theresa, I'll let you know how the appointment with CURVES goes. They're actually offering a free summer membership for your daughter when you take a membership, so I'm going to see if my DD3 might be interested, too.

Karen, if & when you check in, I'm hoping all is well and that you're enjoying a happy & safe trip. And Phyllis, you be safe on YOUR trip, as well!

Ah, and Dr. Femme! Please share those wonderful Creole recipes once you get them adapted to SB. I'm not doing SB - I'm just doing low cal/high fiber/lotsa water/exercise, but SB recipes should work fine for most of us here. I don't think I ever gave much thought to the difference between Cajun & Creole cooking before, but now that you've explained it, it makes perfect sense!

Alrighty. Bettah get some work done, here.

Have a GREAT day, all you lovely GOLDEN GIRLIES!!!!!

Ella
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Old 05-17-2007, 11:15 AM   #165  
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Ah, and Dr. Femme! Please share those wonderful Creole recipes once you get them adapted to SB. I'm not doing SB - I'm just doing low cal/high fiber/lotsa water/exercise, but SB recipes should work fine for most of us here.
I posted one yesterday for red beans and rice. It is posted in my "blog" link below..once the page opens, look on the right and click on the link for "recipes". The recipe links to a printable page. I'll post more as I experiment. Going to try shrimp etouffee this weekend..should work pretty well with a couple of minor changes!

Stay Dry! We have had storms here for the last 3 days..every afternoon, thunder lightening and one day of hail. It is supposed to be gone now and so far a beautiful cool clear day..should be in the high 80's by this afternoon.
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