My shocking diary post after looking in a full length mirror after 1 year!!
My husband and I went to a hotel and I saw my 300lb self naked in a full length mirror after avoiding it for a year. 😱Here is the letter I wrote myself that night after he fell asleep:
"Darling, do you remember the mirror? It was someone you would look at and say at least I'm not THAT bad. Darling, it's that bad. Besides beyond uncomfortable, it's beyond just a bigger girl...it's a turn your head and look twice situation. We gotta change this, we can't be a good mother or wife like this. It was shocking and documentary material. You don't want G (son) being embarrassed of his mother and to have a poor sex life with your husband because you're uncomfortable with yourself. You wouldn't even want to have your wedding ceremony like this! It's hard but it has to happen...I mean can you get any bigger, you're gonna become a hermit and handicap!! We HAVE to!!!! You're the biggest you've ever been and unless you change you're only gonna keep growning!! Please, please, it's so uncomfortable amd miserable and embarrassing!! For G (son), for R (husband), for the family you've made, for your future children and all the things you want to complete in the future. You don't have to be tiny but you gotta get back down to a better place...ya gotta!!Please!!!"
Despite all the desperate pleas to myself I have not lost 1lb. My motivation is so low and I'm terrified of having diabetes, high bp, etc..
I'm at wall! Can anyone give me some advice, some encouragement, some motivation or let me know that it's possible??
I always quit, I get depressed, all consumed and just unhappy when I try to diet! Please help, my baby, my husband and my family needs me. I don't want to lose them and I'm terrified of dying from abusing my body! 😥
Tell me there's hope of living healthy and being happy please..
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