13.) Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a
relative.
12.) I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.. So I said "Implants?" Then the ***** hit me.
11.) How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?
10.) A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true
friend will be sitting next to you saying, "That kicked ***!"
9.) I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have
signed up in the first place!
8.) Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
7.) When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just
"chunky dunk."
6.) Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to
tell the difference.
5.) Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
4.) Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but
they can in prison?
3.) Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.
2.) Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
1.) Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a
teacher and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"
And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Hi Elaine: I had a message partly posted for you and it has disappeared because I went to see what my son calls his website. It's called "Blochhouse.com" Although he lives in California, he has been sent down to New Orleans by his supervisor since he is a CBS Newsphotographer. He has my picture on page 2, bottom center, with his daughter. The beautiful baby at the bottom of that page is my great daughter, his granddaughter. You can see a couple of his pictures taken in New Orleans on the page entitled "Hurricane".