Hi, Leenie - I read on another thread it was your birthday this past weekend. Happy Birthday! I hope your back felt better and you were able to celebrate.
Thanks for the support Ellis and Alisha.
Ellis, congratulations on your anniversary.
Alisha - you had a close call. Must have been dehydration. But at least you kept to your program.
I start mine on Wednesday so I have another day and half of eating what I want. The strange thing is I don't really want a lot. Last weekend I didn't binge but did eat some of my favorite foods - bacon, quacamole, crab - so that later I won't be having regrets about not eating them. Now that I've made the decision I'm sort of anxious to get started.
Of course I was exercising Leenie! Happy belated birthday to you.
Welcome again to all the newbies here, please join me in the exercise thread here. I am lonely!
My sister is still in town, she leaves on Saturday. I chose to work full days yesterday and today. Work is way more restful than doing stuff with my mom and sister. I weighed myself at the gym today and I am up 4lbs from my last official weigh in and up 5lbs from my last unofficial. This is less than a week. Some is water, but I took my water pill yesterday and drank a lot of water. It doesn't even seem scientifically possible I did not eat that many more calories than I burned. Even if I didn't officially exercise doing stuff we were swimming and playing and walking and stuff. Argh! My body does not make sense.
Thanks for all the kind words all. I see my mom all the time, but usually in small doses. When you add my sister and her two kids, then spend all day/night together it makes for stressful situations. The weirdest thing is, I was doing fine until they changed up my schedule. I had written up a schedule of our activities and when they started screwing around with it I got all flustered and ate too much. They do not understand how much planning ahead helps me. They just think I'm neurotic. I know I am neurotic! Just deal with it!
1/2 day at work today and off the next two days. My sister leaves on Saturday. I love to see her, I just think two weeks is too long for a visit. 7/10 days would be much more sane.
I weighed in at 163.5 this morning, so now I am only up 1.5# from official weigh in during "the visit". If I can get rid of this last 1.5# before Friday I will have managed my maintain during "this visit" goal. We'll see.
Hello. Well I'm officially on the medical fast. I wasn't hungry this morning. Probably because of my large last meal (I was so full I had to skip dessert - I know I'm going to be dreaming of that lost chocolate eclair in the future). I ate while I watched Ray Milland in "Lost Weekend." The program I'm on is a medical fast. It consists of packaged supplements (like powdered Slim Fast Shakes), weekly weigh-ins, checkups by a doctor and a class in behavior modification. It's expensive, but I'm desperate enough to try it. I'm a little hungry now but I have four more shakes to have before the end of the day. I'm feeling a little sad right now, knowing I will not have food to fall back on. Well, one day at a time.
Melissa - good going on maintaining during a stressful time. By Saturday both your sister and those 1.5# will be gone.
Ellis and Leenie - thanks for your support.
Rosetta, good luck!
I am so with you re: being desperate. I'm pretty sure that tomorrow is "D-day" for me. I feel quite dreadful, and I know it's not just my med changes... I've got to stop torturing my body with bad food!
Hi there...mind if I just "jump in" here? I've been a member of 3fc for a long time, but had gotten away from it for a while. I haven't posted any where in months and realize how much I miss the support and camaraderie. I've been feeling really lost and discombobulated for quite some time now. Desperately unhappy because of my weight, but unable to do anything but "diet" for a half a day and then binge to make the pain go away for a few minutes...or hours, as the case may be! Meet my new best friends: Shame and Guilt!
I had gotten to the point where I hated going out of the house, even doing the day to day things, like shopping had become incredibly hard. Not physically, but mentally. I'm ashamed of what I look like. I'm afraid I'll see people I know, who will undoubtedly think, "MY GOD, SHE'S GAINED SO MUCH WEIGHT!" There are only so many things that fit me now. My gardens, so lovingly planted this Spring, are overrun with weeds and wilted flowers. I just haven't felt like it. I want to...and mean to....but don't.
I do get out sometimes though. I kind of force myself, but for someone else's benefit. I was tired of watching my son in front of a video game again so I took him and my nephew to the pool club last week. Yes, I mustered up the gumption to put a bathing suit on and get into the pool. I love the water. (prefer the ocean, but this is a helluva lot closer on a hot day!) ANYWAY. I was bobbing around the deep end of the pool, when I realized that I am totally buoyant! No treading water necessary when you are this size! It was kind of funny to me, but at the same time horrifying! I am so fat that I can be used as a flotation device! My son was amazed when I demonstrated for him. He sinks like a stone when he stops treading water.
That was a lightbulb day. I've been having them more and more lately.
I realize how lucky I am...I am morbidly obese, but I don't have high blood pressure, diabetes or heart disease. I can get around just fine. I don't have any shortness of breath. I know that if I continue down this path that these are the things that await me. I don't want them.
So, I feel as though this is a great place to get back on track. Lots of positive energy here. I'll need that!
Thanks for letting me ramble. It felt good just to get that stuff off my chest.
Kat, I'm so glad you're here!
I can relate to so much of what you're saying. I am absolutely mortified by the way I look. Now, when I'm sitting down, I rest my book on my stomach. I've never been this big before (pregnancies aside), and it's horrifying.
And the not wanting to do things... you hit a nerve there, Kat. I keep thinking that I'm too tired and too fat, and that's why it's such an effort to even go downstairs to throw in a load of laundry. Or to weed my garden (I'm sure my garden looks just like yours at present), or do housework, do things with my kids, or ANYTHING! But you're right... I can do it, but I just don't want to.
With the "lightbulb" moments, it sounds as though you're just about ready to go. I'm right there with you, hon.
Congratulations on going out and getting into the pool! That is such a big step, Kat.
I have this really good quotation somewhere that pierces my heart... I'll see if I can find it...
Here it is:
This is from http://www.coping.org/growth/accept.htm
It's very harsh, but it's the truth as far as I'm concerned. And I need to accept the truth.
2. Irresponsibility
"It's too hard and I want someone else to do it for me. So in the mean time since I can't do anything about it, I am just going to relate to food as I always have."
Irresponsibility is rooted in self-hatred, low self-esteem and a belief that you are a loser who is not worth the effort. This concept is fully explored in Accepting Personal Responsibility in the Tools for Personal Growth.
Irresponsibility and not taking responsibility for your actions may be due to being lazy, unmotivated to change and looking for a reason or person to blame for why you will never be successful in your dealings with food. This is the rationalizer's, excuse maker's, and blame shifter's modus operandi.
It is a sign of your refusal to grow up and accept personal responsibility for your own life.
You would rather blame your past life's tragedies for your current misfortune than accept that life is a series of choices which you have made.
You would rather obfuscate the message of the LET GO system to overcome powerlessness over food than accept responsibility that you need to take steps to change your life and your relationship with food.
You find it easier to complain about how complicated, difficult or obscure the message is than to heed the simplicity and purity of it to Let Go and hand it over to your Higher Power.
You would rather complain that this message sounds like religion or pious mumbo jumbo than take the time or effort to explore your concept of spirituality and Higher Power.
You are probably so unwilling to accept responsibility for your failure to achieve success in attaining a balanced lifestyle that you would rather blame the lack of entertainment value in the program or lack of motivational charisma of the class leader for your failure.
You are not willing to face that you are lazy and unmotivated. You are unwilling to face that you enter programs like this to "look externally" like you are doing something about your problems with food when in fact all the time you are in the program you are concentrated on criticizing, belittling or complaining about the program, the leader and your class members.
You probably never are willing to say: "I am not successful in gaining a healthy relationship with food and a balanced lifestyle because I have not made the effort to do so."
That would be too responsible an act, too mature and too honest for you to utter at this time.
Yep, that was a bit painful, but true, nonetheless! Thanks for sharing, ellis! And thanks for the warm welcome! It's good to be back. I was drawn to the title of this grouop: "CHICKS IN CONTROL."
Taking responsibility. Being in control. Calling the shots.
It's up to me. Gonna do it this time. look out!
Today just might be, make that, WILL be the day I head out to the garden to give those weeds a yank. It's time.
Hi everyone! I'm sorry for the short hiatus there... our DSL at work went down (for the 95th time it seems) and I've been playing a LOT of catch-up.
Now then.. Happy belated birthday Leenie! I hope you got everything your heart desires and more! Did you have a nice day? How was/is your back doing?
Melissa, I wouldn't worry too much about that poundage! I heard once that when you exercise muscles which aren't used to being exercised, they (the muscles) surround themselves with water in order to facilitate the reparation process of the fibers which tear inside (i.e the 'toning' effect). This can temporarily increase weight, but it isn't the same thing as normal water retention - thus not easily expelled through diuretics, etc. I bet something similar happened to you. In fact, I bet in a day or two you'll hop on that scale and find yourself down 2 or more pounds from your 'official' weight. Don't stress unduly - you're doing SO incredibly well!
Rosetta, I'm rooting for you! Your diet is VERY similar to mine, with the exception that there are actual food supplements I can have, which are interchangeable with the shakes I drink. (They're all balanced nutritionally). However, I have opted to drink only the shakes for the first 2 months because I am trying to break my obsessions and bad habits with food. The first three days are the hardest. I had a terrible headache from noon on day 1 to the evening of day 2, however, I discovered that if I had a bouillon it increased my potassium and I felt worlds better. A bouillon along with a couple of ibuprofen did the trick and I haven't looked back since! I don't know if you can have bouillon on your fast, but you could always ask your doctor. You'll do fabulously and the money will seem like a drop in the bucket for what you achieve, I bet! You GO girl!!
Kat, welcome back! I so sympathize with you. You hit a lot of nerves with your post and I commend you highly for coming back to get the support you need. I've done the exact same thing. My eating disorder runs my life if I let it - until such point when those lightbulbs come on and I realize just how large I've become. Then I'd sit and wonder how did I let it happen? How did it 'sneak' on me like that? How could I NOT notice that things didn't fit anymore until I only had about 4 items I could wear from the waist down? It's incredibly mind-boggling and yet it happens everyday. The important thing is that you're here now and, if you let us, we can provide you with the support you need to reach your goal. You'll get there! I have a long road to walk like you, so if you need any extra help or someone to listen, I'm only a PM away or a post away.
Ellis, that was a very useful and quit true! It's a good reminder of what we can do when we put our whole self into it. Easier said than done, of course, but I guess it also serves to remind us that there is no easy way out! Thanks for that, very much.
As for me, I'm recovering from my little 'episode' slowly but surely. I'm grumpy because if I hadn't faltered I'd probably have hit the 30# lost mark, but such is life! I'm aiming for next Wednesday to hit it and moving forward. I guess there's no crying over spilled Whoppers!
Whoppers? Did someone say Whoppers!? The first place we went when I left the hospital after giving birth was to Burger King for a Whopper.
Alisha, you'll get it off. Move on and don't look back, hon.
Afternoon, all. Ellis, thank you for the quote. It's similar to the conversations with myself I've been having lately and will continue to have. We have to look up from our food daze and face the root of the matter. I hope you've been able to get back on track. You, too, Kat.
Well, I've made it through a day and a half of the fast. Yesterday I was crabby and I will have to watch that. Also, I'm still in mourning for my lost food. The weekend will be the hardest because I've always planned it around food. What am I going to do with myself? No grocery shopping. No restaurants. No movie popcorn. Eek!
Alisha - thanks for your encouragement. My plan is about the same as yours. Nutritionally balanced shakes with packaged food to come after a couple of weeks. Like you, I plan to stay on the shakes for a longer time to distance myself from food. Plus it's so easy. No prep. All I need is a shaker, water and a glass. We can also have bullion as needed for the sodium. As for potassium, we are given a prescription for liquid potassium to take twice daily. A tip to vary the shakes: add extracts, such as walnut, almond, vanilla or grated ginger.
August Chick Chat :)
I know I am neurotic! Just deal with it! 
Sorta new, but not really
I'm right there with you, hon. 
That is such a big step, Kat. 
I hope you got everything your heart desires and more! Did you have a nice day? How was/is your back doing? 
I heard once that when you exercise muscles which aren't used to being exercised, they (the muscles) surround themselves with water in order to facilitate the reparation process of the fibers which tear inside (i.e the 'toning' effect). This can temporarily increase weight, but it isn't the same thing as normal water retention - thus not easily expelled through diuretics, etc. I bet something similar happened to you. In fact, I bet in a day or two you'll hop on that scale and find yourself down 2 or more pounds from your 'official' weight. 
Don't stress unduly - you're doing SO incredibly well! 
Your diet is VERY similar to mine, with the exception that there are actual food supplements I can have, which are interchangeable with the shakes I drink. (They're all balanced nutritionally). However, I have opted to drink only the shakes for the first 2 months because I am trying to break my obsessions and bad habits with food. 
The first three days are the hardest. I had a terrible headache from noon on day 1 to the evening of day 2, 
however, I discovered that if I had a bouillon it increased my potassium and I felt worlds better. A bouillon along with a couple of ibuprofen did the trick and I haven't looked back since! I don't know if you can have bouillon on your fast, but you could always ask your doctor. 
You'll do fabulously and the money will seem like a drop in the bucket for what you achieve, I bet! You GO girl!! 
I've done the exact same thing. My eating disorder runs my life if I let it - until such point when those lightbulbs come on and I realize just how large I've become. 
Then I'd sit and wonder how did I let it happen? How did it 'sneak' on me like that? How could I NOT notice that things didn't fit anymore until I only had about 4 items I could wear from the waist down? 
It's incredibly mind-boggling and yet it happens everyday. The important thing is that you're here now and, if you let us, we can provide you with the support you need to reach your goal. 
You'll get there! I have a long road to walk like you, so if you need any extra help or someone to listen, I'm only a PM away or a post away. 
Thanks for that, very much. 
I'm aiming for next Wednesday to hit it and moving forward. I guess there's no crying over spilled Whoppers! 
The first place we went when I left the hospital after giving birth was to Burger King for a Whopper. 
