[Jenaya]

I am wondering if there are others that are putting things off because they are waiting for a certain "number" before attempting a new activity? I have a dream of kayaking but I have never done it because I fear that I am too big. Has anyone else with 100 plus pounds to lose ever gone kayaking and how did you find the experience?

What are the things you would like to do but have put off because of weight? Are they things that you could do now? Maybe I can kayak without drowning or, worse yet, going under (yikes). I just need to find a kayak and a deserted island (okay, not totally deserted - one search and rescue person may be needed).

[YP1]

My big one is scuba diving. My father and my sister are both instructors, running a scuba diving school in Spain. I could dive for free any time I want to. But I never have. I tell myself it's because I don't like breathing under water (I've tried it in the pool). But I know deep down that the reason I don't want to do it because I don't want the humiliation of having to squeeze myself into the biggest wetsuit they have and still bursting the seams. OK, I might not be quite that fat, but that's the image I get in my head.

Anyway, I'm now at the weight where I just might do it. I was talking myself into doing it when I go out there later this month, but my sister can't dive at the moment so I might wait until I'm out there in November when I should hopefully be able to fit into a lovely skinny wetsuit.

[kykaree]

I have always wanted to kayak or canoe, and now live in a place with a river where people do such things, so once my waist and hips are a little smaller, I might give it a go.

I would love to scuba, but I have asthma and it isn't safe for asthmatics, so that's one dream that I won't be able to pursue, I don't think

I also want to do a trek, maybe the great Wall of China, one of my long term dreams, and I would really like to do that in the not too distant future.

[lessofsarahtolove]

Gone are the days when I put any dreams on hold. I've come to realize that's just completely wasteful. I own my today, and none of my tomorrows -- and I deserve to experience the physical pleasures of today just as much as a heavy person as I would at a smaller size. It's your soul that matters -- not the perception of others -- I say feed it! It takes a leap, but it's so worth it!!

Getting off my now!

[jennie934]

I have put things on hold but more like, a trip to the beach. Ussually, I just do it, and don't care even if I am the biggest one there.
I have kayacked and can say, my hips are huge and they fit fine in the kayak. I'm not an expert but, I think most of the kayaks today at least where I am you don't really have to squeeze in that little hole and sit in it its more like you sit on it so don't worry about your size. You won't sink either just try it and have fun.

[cecilyisworking]

Jenaya, I've been staring at your post for a while now, trying to settle on something along the lines of kayaking, scuba diving, or the beach to share. The only thing I can think of, though, is love.

To be honest, I don’t have examples in my life of heavy people in healthy relationships. The statistical expanding of America’s waistline seems to have missed most of my corner of the country. My world is full of thin friends and family who have paired off, but the very few of us that are fat are still alone. I have friends who have said encouragingly (as something to look forward to), “When you lose the weight, you’ll find someone!” My mother was really thin when my parents married, and from the moment she gained weight, my father has been cruel to her about it. He hasn’t said mean things to me about my weight since I was in high school, but I constantly worry about what he thinks of me, knowing what he’s said to her over the past 20 or so years. I fear that the world is full of men who think like him. I have let fear run my life, even though I know better. It's like I'm hoping that the thinner me will be braver than I am.

You all on this site have been such an eye-opener for me. To see so many of you with supportive spouses and partners regardless of your size has shown me a side of life I haven’t seen in my own circles. So thank you for that!

I’ve heard people say that you can’t expect someone else to love you if you don’t love yourself first. I’m sure that’s true, and truth be told, I struggle with doing just that, but I’m working on it.

Originally Posted by lessofsarahtolove

Gone are the days when I put any dreams on hold. I've come to realize that's just completely wasteful. It's your soul that matters -- not the perception of others -- I say feed it! It takes a leap, but it's so worth it!!

I know with all my heart that you're right, Sarah! Thank you for sharing what you’ve learned. We’d all be wise indeed to take it to heart and put it into practice.

Jenaya, good topic. It's really made me think...

[dakotamidnight]

I'm waiting to go Rock clumbing on the local artifical rock wall. Gonna have to wait a while, because I'm too heavy at the moment to pass their requirements.

[lessofsarahtolove]

Originally Posted by cecilyisworking

I know with all my heart that you're right, Sarah! Thank you for sharing what you’ve learned. We’d all be wise indeed to take it to heart and put it into practice.

Hello, Cecily. Unfortunately, it took a cancer diagnosis to teach me this lesson! It's been a long six months, and it felt at times like so many aspects of my dignity and sense of self were stripped away from me, laying bare just the spirit beneath. In addition to a host of other dignity-related hurtles I had no choice but to jump, I was forced also to "give up" some "fat self"-protective behaviors and mindsets and say about going out bald with my freshly returned double chin and no eyelashes, or going sleeveless with fat arms, or snorkeling and swimming with strangers when I'm fat and have lost all my hard-earned muscle tone -- or any number of other things I'd have been a heck of a lot more comfortable doing at a lighter weight, "What's gonna happen? I'm gonna get cancer?" I mean seriously!! What's going to happen if you do now the thing that you think you're too fat to do? Why wait for tomorrow? You just truly have no idea what tomorrow is going to bring.

That said, I do have some fitness-related goals/plans for doing things that I'm physically incapable of doing now. But those are goals for a differently abled body -- not dreams on hold.

Putting dreams on hold is just not something that I want to do in my life. And if that realization were the single positive outcome of having a life-threatening illness, then I'd consider it worth it. (Of course, I know that I learned much more than that as a result of having this experience, so truly I know that I'm a very lucky girl. )

[Schatzi]

Hi ladies, I am barely 5 foot tall, and I weighed 215 pounds when I hiked 10 miles down the Bright Angel Trail with 10 pounds on my back in 110 degrees to White Water Raft the Colorado through the Grand Canyon for 10 days. I made sure I was somewhat physically fit ..but the point is that it was my dream since I could remember to do it and I wasnt going to "weight" until I was X pounds to do it.

I have a Dagger Kyack and a canoe to boot. I do WW kyacking all summer - and do overnight canoe/camp trips. It is what I love to do -Do what you love, do it today - embrace your life! We've all heard the snarky ignorant remarks of others..yeah it hurts, but if you are not living your life because of how others will judge you or make a Fat joke, you may have to work on your self esteem . Nobody walks in your shoes...and in the end, all we have is ourselves and the life we choose to live.

SO PADDLES UP!

[Lifeguard]

Wow - dreams on hold - where do I start.....

I dread seeing family or old friends who haven't seen me in awhile. I would love to be a volunteer fire fighter, a white water raft guide, an adventure racer & a fitness competitor - but know all that can be nothing but a dream until I'm thinner &, more importantly, in better shape.

On the other hand I have been kayaking (only river - the white water ones were too small for my hips), white water rafting, biking, hiking, swimming & scuba diving.

[taekwondomom]

I haven't really put off dreams, just activities I'd really like to try. Like riding a rollercoaster, never been on one, even when I was under 200 lbs. I was afraid I was too fat!
Also, I'd like to participate in a bike race; possibley Tour de Cure (Diabetics Fun Raising Race-numerous members of my family were/are diabetic so this really hits home for me)
I also want to participate in a Tae Kwon Do tournament. Next one is in October or November of this year in Minnesota. I'd like to do pattern and maybe even try sparring. Have to be in pretty good shape for sparring though!

[Goddess Jessica]

I'm with Sarah on this one.

I really do try to do everything that I want to do. You just gotta take a deep breath and go for it. I know the fears and the anxiety that comes with the "fattest girl who has ever done this" mentality. But A) I doubt you really are and B) if you are, who cares? No one at the end of their life says, "I am so glad that I never did that!"

Carpe Diem, chicas. You got one life. You got one chance to do what makes you happy. Do it.

[Jenaya]

Dear Sara - As always, your words are full of wisdom and wonder. It is partially due to you and your sharing of your struggles, partially due to circumstances with family and friends in my life and partially due to seeing how precious life is that I am being brave and going to do what my heart desires. It is hard for me - I will be the first to tell you that I am very conscious of what others think and how I appear. I was ridiculed for years by my Mother. She thought she was helping me but she, in all her slim glory, was very hard on me for my weight and consequently, I am hard on myself. I wouldn't say I have a low esteem. I am very successful in my personal life (great hubby and family) and have experienced great success in my professional life. I just get ansy when I need to bare my body and put myself in awkward positions that are more graceful for those of healthy weights. I guess I am better with my brain than my body. I guess I had to be to be a large woman. Kind of a forced issue - you can't only be good, you have to be the best in order to move past the physical crap with people. However, I am turning a new leaf and grabbing a chapter out of the book of life written by people who know better (as in you, Sara). Some great folks over at the Exercise forum have also given me a few ideas.

It is really inspiring for me to see what others dreams are. Neat to see the variety of things people would love to do, some of the reasons maybe why they haven't done them and a bit of a challenge to actually think about doing them. Freeing for the soul, really. It is almost a challenge for all of us to seize the moment. Because, as we know, the moment is truly all that we do have.

[YP1]

By the way, it's interesting to see how many dreams are based on activity/sport. It seems that no-one dreams "one day I'd like to eat a whole chocolate cake on my own" (or if they do they've not put it on hold ) So it seems that we're all heading in the right direction!

[Rtael]

I've put off even trying to start dating...until atleast 190....I wouldn't even feel comfortable with myself until then, in that kind of situation.