[Sun_Flower2]

Hi! I'm new here obviously! And I would like to start a group for new people that are trying to get started on the weight loss wagon. Soooo, it's late and I need to go to sleep, but I wanted to get this rolling!

Here's my story: I recently weighed in at 242lbs. I started this year at about 220, my goal was to lose weight this year, I thought by summer I would definitely be down in the 180s-190s. But I gained 22lbs instead of losing it. How did I do this to myself??? Well, I know how, but why? Oh I am just tired of wishing I was losing weight and not actually doing anything about it. I'm tired of saying I am going to eat healthy today then by lunch running through a drive thru!

Actually the other day I did really well, then I was on my way home from boyfriends house late at night and thought, hey I ate well today, I deserve a cheesburger and french fries! So I went to MCD's (the enemy) and guess what! My car died at the order menu! It was pretty ridiculous, I didn't even need to go there, I should have just gone home and gone to bed! It didn't even sputter out, it just shut off. And the battery would not come back on. So I had to have an employee help push my car into a parking spot and then I had to call my boyfriend (thank God I have a cell phone) and tell him I needed him to help me at MCD's. I was so embarrassed and ashamed and felt sooo stupid! I was like why the did this happen to me! That is the last time I think I will go to for a long time! I felt like God was telling me "STOP! Don't put that food into your mouth! It's unhealthy, It's making you fatter, It's clogging your arteries, It's hurting your heart, your health, your life!" I seriously am a fast food junkie, I crave it, but since then it makes me feel sick or actually it makes me feel like when you go out drinking and act really dumb then the next time you think about it you're like "god, why did I even do that" and you don't ever want to go back to the same place ever again! That's how I feel, so maybe that's a good thing! I will definitely lose some weight if I stop eating fast food!

So, here I am beginning my weight loss journey and hoping other new "losers" will share some of their road blocks to just getting started. I know I wouldn't be able to talk about some of my problems with any of my friends or even my boyfriend, I just feel too ashamed. I know I should just suck up my pride, but I think if I can start openingly and truthfully talking about how I'm preventing myself from getting healthier on this board, eventually I'll be able to be more open with the people around me.

Sometimes there are things you don't want to admit to even the closest people to you, I have that problem when it comes to my weight. My boyfriend is such a sweetheart. The last two years or so he's been lifting weights, I guess you would call it body building, he has never been overweight, so his goal has been to gain muscle mass. He probably started out at about 150 and now he's at about 195 (pure muscle ) . And the other day we were sitting outside and I was about to sit in a plastic patio chair, and I was like "oh god I hope I don't break it!" He said, "Oh, I weigh close to 200lbs and I sat on it and I didn't break it, I weigh more than you do!" I was actually shocked! I told my mom the poor guy is blinded by love! I haven't ever told him how much I weigh right now, and I just don't want too. Anyways now that he's gaining hopefully I can lose some weight and by Christmas I'll weigh less then him finally! We've been together for 8 1/2yrs. Since I was 15, I weighed 135-138 back then and thought I was fat. I would love someday to get back to that weight, but to be toned, and strong and healthy.

So anyway I know I talk alot and that's a long post to read so anyone who got through it thanx! and !
So anyother June Newbies feel free to post your stories too! Anyone is welcome too!
I know this might seem like a rehash to some people, so that why I was thinking, hopefully we can get a lil' group of new newbies! Off to Wonderland Yawn Yawn

[guidingstar]

I would love to join your newbie group. I just joined today after a huge inner fight about whether to turn to outward support. I am super stubborn and figured I could do it myself, but after this long, maybe it is time to ask for help. I totally feel you about weighing more than your boyfriend. My fiance is super supportive, but I KNOW i weigh as much or more than him. That makes me feels sooo embarassed. So now I am here hoping to lose the weight.....So my story. I am 27 years old and have been struggling with my weight since I was 8. In high school I thought I was huge, but looking back i look normal. I think that is the way it always is. Anywho. I am just finishing graduate school and i gained back the 30 lbs i lost 2 years ago which stinks because I was trying to lose weight. Besides wanting to be a healthy size, I really don't want to look like the stay-puff marshmallow man in my wedding dress. I am hoping that by using outward support I can finally conquor the war and show the woman I am inside.
So that is me. I am so glad you posted looking for newbies. I feel wierd just joining. I feel like I know my big pit falls.. like not liking exercise and loving ice cream, but knowing doesn't seem to be the solution. :P

[Sun_Flower2]

Hello, I'm glad you posted!

I have a problem reaching out for help, I don't know why. One of my teacher's told me I have to much pride. I thought Pride? what no I thought it was Shyness or low self image or something... But after thinking about that and nobody had ever said that to me, I thought whoa maybe it is pride. I am so fearful of how I appear to others, of looking stupid, of being wrong, feeling ashamed when I made a mistake... But I don't like to let people really now that, I don't even really admit those are the reasons myself. So after that I decided to start not being so self-concious. I needed to accept who I am if I am ever going to get past my issues with my weight, with food, with my health and everything else.

So, I've done really well, I haven't ate McD's in 12 days. That's longer than I don't know when. But I really haven't been watching what I eat otherwise. I decided to not weigh my self for a couple weeks, to see if it is making any difference.

I also decided I have to start monitoring my food intake, I ordered two 3 month journals and from musclestuff.com it has exercise areas, and space for 6 mini-meals a day or 3 meals and 3 snacks. It also has a Notes page at the end of each week, to reflect or make plans. I am using a journal write now for keeping track of my exercising but it only has a tiny box to make a small note about nutrition. At first I thought that would be good for me since I haven't had much success in the past at keeping track of what I eat, but it really wasn't any help, especially since I have problems with overeating and pigging out. I tried at times to keep track of just how many veggies or fruit I ate, but that didn't work either. So after a long time of not keeping track of anything I've been eating or drinking, I decided enough is enough and I have to start food journaling! I have been exercising and not seeing any results scale or pants size wise, I realize that the only way I'm going to lose the fat on my belly is to start eating better and monitor my calorie intake. I know it will be hard but I have to get control on my eating!

So hope to hear from ya again! Hopefully any other newbies that drop by will stop to say hi! Hopefully we can keep in touch here and talk about are beginning struggles. I know if I can get it going, I'll be able to be more positive about the long run.

Congrates on graduating grad school! I took time off after highschool and am now just at sophmore classification, so I wish I was in grad school but I still got 2 1/2 to 3 yrs to go! Then grad school too! Oh well, that means I don't have to grow up yet! No just kidding, it'll give me time to get my life under control and my health!

[guidingstar]

Congrats on not eating McD's in 12 days! That is awsome!!! I wish I could say the same thing about ice cream! I think trying to keep a food journal is a great idea. I just restarted mine. I am really really bad about keeping up with things like that. But! I really want too this time, it has helped in the past. I think it would be great if we could talk about the beginning stuff, hopefully that will get us over the hump.

[Sun_Flower2]

Hi, I've been kinda absent. I couldn't find this post and then figured out that you can get a list of all your past posts! So, I haven't been eating well, but I got a workout/food journal I started on Saturday. So this time I am going to follow through and keep the journal with me at all times. I also found an awesome site at www.nutritiondata.com it lists most all foods and even many foods from restaurants, so that way I can estimate things I don't have a label for. I think my biggest problem right now is trying to reign in my eating habits. I just eat so bad and am not seeing any results. I've been going to the gym 3 days a week for the past 3-4 weeks. I easily get frustrated so I try to tell myself not to expect instant results, that if I keep it up within a couple months I should see a bigger difference. So now I just have to start eating healthier! Hopefully tracking what I eat, I'll be able to begin to see a pattern or a reason for my unhealthy habits. I already noticed that sometimes I don't eat for 3-4hours after I wake up. I am usually ravenous then and overeat. Or sometimes I only eat 2x a day, but I usually eat large amounts. My journal fits in my purse, so I am going to write absolutley everything that goes in my mouth, even water and diet pop. Hopefully this will help me figure it out!

[guidingstar]

hey sunflower... hope you get this! I lost the thread too. just found it. For some reason I am not getting e-mails letting me know it's being updated... but anywho! I am back now. I have been trying to do a food journal too. I am thinking about joining weight watchers.I have been eating healthier.. lots of fruit. I have also been trying to exercise, but it is soo hard after i get home from work. But i keep trying. how have things been going for you?

[Sun_Flower2]

Hey!
Oh! I've been doing really great with exercising! I played tennis today with a girlfriend, she just had a baby in february and wants to lose a bit a weight too. So we always say we'll go to the gym together and never do, so we went and got $20 rackets at Walmart and went to the courts at a local park! It was sooo fun. We've never had any training or anything, I played a little bit with 2 girlfriends in elementary school that took lessons and competed. Besides then, the last time I played tennis was in gym class in high school! But hey it burned us some calories! I've been going to the gym with my mom or my boyfriend and lifting weights and trying to do some ellipitcal trainer or biking too.

But! I've been eating horribly! I've been keeping a food log consistently except I havent' updated it since wednesday, But I remember what I ate yesterday! I've got to remember to right down tonight! I eat out still about once every other day. Like I had Taco Johns on tuesday and wednesday and today I had Mcdonald's today! Yikes! Why do I do that????? I know everytime I eat it I am putting more fat into AND onto my body! I'm hurting my heart, -making it deal with all that saturated fat!

Plus, it's not helping me lose anymore weight! I also eat chips way too much! I fix a nice healthy turkey sandwhich, with lunchmeat, tomato, alfa-alfa sprouts and green leaf lettuce, then eat like 3 oz's of chips! Uggh! I have no self-discipline when it comes to eating. It doesn't help my boyfriend eats what ever he wants, and so I eat with him... and I got fat that way and am staying fat till I figure out how to control myself!!!

If I saved all the money I spent on eating out I could probably go on a cruise within a few months! Seriously! Like- I went to Red Lobster on Sunday and had 2 Glasses of Wine(bad only needed 1), A Salad with just a little bit of Ranch dressing (that was good!) but also two of the cheddar bay biscuits(bad), and instead of getting a nice grilled or broiled fish, I got salmon(good) with garic butter(bad), and Shrimp Pasta(bad), and for my side instead of getting steamed vegetables, like I could of got, I got french fries!!! (bad, bad, bad) Well I only ate half of the entree portions and took home the rest to eat the next day for lunch. But still that's got to be a god-awful amount of calories! That's another thing, when I eat out it's hard to figure out how many calories I've eaten, I usually go online for MCD or most the fast foods places(and you'd think those numbers would discourage me from ever eating there again!) but restaurants are hard to figure out!

Oh! pooh! Sorry this is so long! I'm almost done!
I am learning a little something about my eating habits! If I don't get up and make a healthy filling breakfast, I usually end up overeating or getting fast food later in the day! So this journaling is helping a little bit, so hopefully by the end of it (3months) I will be able to eat better and make good decisions! I have another 3month-journal waiting to start when I'm done with this one!