My husband and I have both been obese since pretty early on in our marriage (we used to be extremely bad "enablers" of each others' food consumption) and we each started going to the gym last May. We're a perfect illustration of how important eating habits are to weight loss; while I have lost 85+ pounds in the last year, his weight has stayed the same, although his body shape has changed somewhat (and he's got some NICE muscles! ).
Anyway, I basically had gotten used to the differences in the way we eat, not pointing them out but instead trying to model healthier habits and their results (and planning healthier meals at home). Something seems to have *clicked* with him in recent days, however, because he has started changing the way he eats in some fairly dramatic ways. As a result, he's lost 8 pounds since two weeks ago! I still don't mention it too much (it's not his style to talk about it in any major way) but I'm really thrilled that he's making this effort. I think he will only get more motivated when he starts seeing more tangible results (like the pants-o-meter or comments from others).
The only [minor] downside is that, even with a reduced calorie diet, he can still eat a whole lot more calories than I can and still lose. This means we can eat the same thing and result in a "good day" for him and a "bad day" for me. As long as I'm constantly aware of that, I can continue to adjust my intake.
Anyway, just wanted to share. If anybody else has been through something similar or just has thoughts, I'd love to hear what you have to say. In the meantime, wish us luck... I really hope this trend continues!
That's great news Jennifer. I know kimberley has a hard time with me being able to eat more. I try to eat something extra while I'm at work or when shes not around. That way we are more even at the end of the day.
Sounds about the same as what goes on at my house. My husband is starting to work out now too, because I got a gym membership. Problem is he eats a ton of stuff that isn't good for him (or anyone). It does a number on me because I am trying to behave with what I eat.
Congrats on your hubby's accomplishments.. throw some of that weight loss dust this way!
That's wonderful that your husband is doing so well and I'm sure he'll be proud when those clothes start to fit better!
The downside that you mention sounds like what we go through in my house also. My husband is 6' 4" and can eat a whole lot more than I can and not gain even an ounce! So unfair! Oh well. I've just had to learn that I can mostly eat the same foods that I feed him and my kids but have to get that measuring cup out to watch my portions and to keep up the exercise! When my husband does want something like cookies for his lunchbox at work or an after dinner snack, I try to only buy stuff that I'm not crazy about. If I didn't and had a bad day I'd be in big trouble! Luckily for me he also likes lots of healthy vegies and such also.
That is awesome Jennifer. It sounds like you are handling it well (praises and such). I'm hoping that as I lose more Jeff will want to join me on it. Every time I try to work out, he will get gung ho and work out with me for a bit but he usually stops after a couple of weeks. I'm hoping that now that I'm getting my eating back in order that he will want to at least try portion control and tone down his eating.
OOOOOh Jen, I love what you say about 'enabling eachothers food consumption' - that is just what happened with me and my partner, and consequently we have both gained over 70lbs We have both had a couple of really bad years with work problems, depression and Nigel losing his mum and food became the one thing that that made us feel a little better.
Now I've been losing weight and exercising alot since January, but Nigel has still been in a depression slump. He'll happily eat any healthy food I put in front of him, but he also eats alot of cookies and bread and gets absolutely no exercise. Now for the first time in our relationship I actually weigh less than him and my good example is beginning to rub off on him. He's not at the stage of signing up to the gym, but he is talking about WANTING to get back in shape which is a major step forward and a sign is he is preparing himself mentally to get out of the rut he's in. I've noticed that he's making some healthier food choices now and is talking about going on our home exercise bike for a few minutes to start himself off. Being a typical bloke he has had to come to this stage all by himself with no prompting whatsoever from me - he's often said that seeing me getting healthy will spur him on, so that's what I've been doing!
I'm glad your dh is starting to make healthier food choices - I could never cope with working out at the gym for a year and not losing ANY weight!!
I'm married to one of those naturally thin people. He got me exercising after #10 was born. I gained while exercising but like you mentioned got nicer muscles. Then I went on a diet and he lost weight. Talk about unfair! Oh well he is a good exercise buddy so I guess I'll keep him
Catherine EDD#11 June 24th mabear's homepage
Restarted Jan 17 '05 at 243. Trying to maintain while pregnant.
Yay Jennifer for being a good model of healthiness for your hubby! And yay hubby for "getting it!" This is huge, Jennifer. You're such an inspiration to people on this board, I can't even imagine how much of an inspiration you are to your husband! I am so happy for both of you.
I do a lot of the cooking in my house, and I make plates of "Aimee size" and "Josh size", it's taken a while (almost 2 years!!) for Josh to get that I'm a girl, I do NOT eat as much as him. I'm jealous that guys don't have to work as hard at losing weight, but I wouldn't give up PMS for anything
I'm going to be mean spirited and petty and I admit it. That being said.....when I was first married my husband and I were both in the Army and both in good shape physically. When I got pregnant with my first child I gained a lot of weight and he just could not forgive me for it. I was constantly bombarded with really horrible remarks about how I looked. (I think the idea was that if I felt awful enough about myself it would motivate me to change. It just made me feel awful about myself.) He on the other hand maintained his youthful figure throughout that pregnancy and our second pregnancy (twins!) He could eat ANYTHING (and did) and never gained an ounce. Fast forward twenty plus years and a divorce later...and middle age is catching up with him. He has put on a good 40 pounds and cannot budge it an ounce. May I say I am tickled? I may? OK, I am tickled.
Current DB is thin. He could eat nothing but battered deep fried butter, and not gain an ounce.
I'm glad your husband has come around, but I would not suggest trying to eat like him. And at least you have realized you can't eat the same amts of the same things, etc. That's half the battle I think.
I'm going to be mean spirited and petty and I admit it. That being said.....when I was first married my husband and I were both in the Army and both in good shape physically. When I got pregnant with my first child I gained a lot of weight and he just could not forgive me for it. I was constantly bombarded with really horrible remarks about how I looked. (I think the idea was that if I felt awful enough about myself it would motivate me to change. It just made me feel awful about myself.) He on the other hand maintained his youthful figure throughout that pregnancy and our second pregnancy (twins!) He could eat ANYTHING (and did) and never gained an ounce. Fast forward twenty plus years and a divorce later...and middle age is catching up with him. He has put on a good 40 pounds and cannot budge it an ounce. May I say I am tickled? I may? OK, I am tickled.
ArmyGirl -
Can I giggle with you? My ex-husband was in the Navy when we met. 6'4.5" and 170 pounds. I was 5'7", 145 pounds and curvy in all the right places. After we got married he decided that I was "too fat" and that he would love me more if I just lost 20 pounds.
The more he berated me, the worse I felt about myself. The worse I felt about me ... well you know the cycle.
Now - 15 years after our divorce he's gained a good 50 pounds ... and lost most of his hair!
Normally I wouldn't find that to be funny or even note worthy... but he was so vain and so mean that I cannot help but take a bit of malicious pleasure in knowing that he, too, is human!
My dh got serious about encouraging me when I got bloodwork done and we learned just how poor my health had gotten. Now, he has lost 20 lbs. just trying to be supportive. He goes grocery shopping with me, and to the gym 5 nights a week. Now he even goes to work out when I can't. The only snacks we buy regularly are fruit, nuts, yogurt, and sugar free popsicles. Once a month I buy him a pkg of chips in the lunchbag single serving packages.
While I was already trying, rather feebly, to diet and get more exercise, the labwork was a wakeup call for us both. The numbers made the difference. I see it as a concrete definition vs. the distorted way we know we see ourselves.
ArmyGirl - What is the 4 oz.? Weight loss, protein?
Some Good News - Just Wanted to Share
). 
We have both had a couple of really bad years with work problems, depression and Nigel losing his mum and food became the one thing that that made us feel a little better.
I'm being bad, I admit it....
