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Old 05-26-2005, 03:29 PM   #5
lucky
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,343

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Gloria, no offense, but it is you mother who was behaving like a child. And try not to take her actions too personally. There were two other people in that room whose comfort and feelings she neglected. When people we love do these things it feels like a personal attack. But if you step outside the box and peep back in you will see that they tend to be disrespectful to everyone. It is THEIR shortcoming, not YOURS. We all tend to take responsibility for other people's hurtful actions but, especially in this case, you owe it to yourself to keep her accountable for her behavior.

Now, about this exercise challenge. I need it. I don't want it. I have been lacking motivation for exercise and that is the reason I haven't responded your idea yet. I have to be honest, I'm just really tired of pushing myself. But, then I realized that's the point of a challenge - to give us a reason to push a little harder. So, count me in.

I've been on a rollercaster of emotions toward weight loss these days. Part of the problem is that 214 pounds seems so far away right now. For a while there I could look in the mirror and see such a huge difference in my appearence that I stayed on top of my game. I'm still dedicated to this lifestyle but I've been in this weight range for long enough that I don't compare it to the 214 pound me anymore. So, all of a sudden, I feel as bad about myself at 155 as I did at 214. Mentally, 155 feels as fat as 214 did. Very self-defeating. And I know it is ridiculous. And I am slowly but surely working through it. Although I can't say for sure I suspect that this is how I've managed to regain any weight I've ever lost. But, I am aware of it now and can fight back. I know nothing about the way I live will change once I reach my goal weight. I'll still have to count calories, I'll still have to exercise whether I feel like it or not. I know these things. As much as I hate to put so much stock into a number on the scale I am very anxious to reach 135 so that I can stop the emotions involved with wanting to see the scale move. And what is even more asinine is that I AM seeing the scale move, I AM seeing inches fall away. Why on Earth does it seem like I'm not? That one I can't figure out.

With all of that said you'd think I'd want to push, push, push, and blow through these last 20 pounds. Nope. And I'm not sure why that is. I know that is what I SHOULD want to do. I find myself wondering if there is something that makes me afraid to reach my goal. But I can't imagine what that would be.

So, give me the whens and where's of our challenge. I'm ready when you all are. Goodness knows I need the boost of being kept accountable for getting of my rear end.

Have a great day!

Tricia
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Lucky

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