Be Politically Correct in 2005
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS
6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
7. He does not act like a TOTAL *** - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
11. It's not his CRACK you see hanging out of his pants....It is MALE CLEAVAGE.
...and for the guys
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
2 She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
3. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
4. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
5. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
6. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
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