Take a deep breath.
OK, now take another.
Honey, you are SO full of self-hatred and negative energy that you're not giving anyone else the chance to form an opinion -- you've already done it for them. Most people don't like you or NOT like you because you are *gasp!* 10 pounds overweight! They like you or not based on your attitude and demeanor. If all of your sense of self-worth is based on the scale, and you act as though 10 extra pounds makes you a waste of good carbon, then that's exactly how other people are going to treat you. Even if they don't, your extremely low opinion of yourself will color everything they do and say.
I see so many people, especially younger women, caught in your trap. You are convinced that the secret to happiness and companionship is being model-thin, and that only thin people have any value in the world. So, anything less than that and you are convinced that you are an unworthy human being and that everyone hates you. You try to lose weight because that's the ONLY way you think you can regain any semblance of a life. But when you don't see results INSTANTLY you feel the whole exercise is pointless, that everyone sees you as a failure and they are "not supportive," and that you are a gross pig. You fulfill that prophecy by binging -- binging just proves to yourself that there's no point in trying, that you're a failure, and if other people know about it they get exasperated with you. You get to heap even more abusive language on yourself and perpetuate the cycle.
Try this:
Life your life. Believe it when your boyfriend says he loves you. I mean, my god, you actually have a boyfriend who says he loves you? Do you know how valuable that is? Maybe he doesn't talk to you any more because he's tired of listening to you wallowing in that mudpuddle of self-hatred. That's not to say he couldn't be more supportive, but honey, we all have to do what we have to do with or without support; you can't blame other people for the food you put in your mouth. Work on building a healthy lifestyle that includes activity, and reasonable amounts of wholesome food. Do this not because it will make you "lose weight" but because it's the right way to treat your body. Learn some balance in your life -- work on that pessimistic, self-hating attitude and try to appreciate the good things going on in your life. Spend some time every day meditating or journaling and try to bring yourself some peace about what you can change and what you can't. Affirm to yourself every day that you are making positive changes that will help your whole life. Remind yourself that it's possible to be attractive and vivacious and likeable even if you're not 20 pounds underweight, even if you're OVERweight. Start acting like a person who understands she's worthy of her place in the world, who is worth good grooming and attractive clothes and interacting with people without assumptions of hidden agendas. Even if you don't feel this is true, ACT like it, and pretty soon you'll come to understand it IS true.
The key is not in your boyfriend or your boyfriend's mother or sales people or could-be models at a party. The key is in YOUR hand. You can decide you are going to approach your life with positive energy, or negative energy. And trust me, positive energy WORKS; negative energy just makes things worse.
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