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Old 07-04-2004, 02:31 PM   #4
fuzzy324
I found my hipbones!
 
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Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 183

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I really can't say that I think being overweight has made me a better person. I have felt such ugly feelings b/c of my weight. I have said such ugly things in my head about "skinny people" b/c of my jealousy. I let myself become angry at the other fat people in my life for counting me as "one of them" b/c I never wanted to picture myself that way. It has been such a time of self-pity and hopelessness and hiding. I had tried lots of different ways to lose weight and nothing ever worked. Some made me stop gaining, but I never actually lost weight until SBD. I had just come to the conclusion that this was how I was, how I would always be, and there was nothing I could really do about it.

I'm finding now, though, that when I see skinny people, I don't feel that surge of envy and animosity, but rather it makes me think...maybe someday I'll be able to wear that? I'm in a weird sort of situation these days. People tell me that I'm an inspiration to them, people now look me in the eye when I pass them in the hallway. I've actually been trying to find ways to show myself off...and that's such change in mindset for me.

In my mind, I have accomplished what I thought was impossible, and I'm proud of myself for having done it the right way through hard work and good eating. It has given me confidence for attempting other seemingly impossible things, too.

So no, I don't think I'm better for having been overweight. I have learned a lot about my own inner strength, though. I have learned to be healthier in mind and body. I hope that I will remember what it was to feel so huge and how that affected my life so that I can help other people along their way.
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"A sound mind in a sound body is a short but full description of a happy state in this world." --John Locke

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