I am PMS'ing, and I know that every month without fail that during that time I am going to have a hard time with Carbs. I fought it all last night before bed. I resisted like there was no tomorrow. Then, I woke up in the middle of the night and raided my daughter's Easter candy!!!!!! I feel so guilty this morning. I could just kick myself!!!
I never have a problem during the day..It's the nights that really kill me. I'm going to put the baby in the stroller and go for a walk here pretty soon. I know that will make me feel better. I sometimes forget that I can't perfect all the time with this lifestyle change. It's going to take time after so many years of abusing myself with food. Thanks for the support you guys. I needed to hear that.
Well, since the thread is here, I guess it's time for me to fess up about what a bad girl I've been...
I haven't gone to Weight Watchers in 3 weeks and although I was well on my way to losing the 6lbs. I gained over Christmas, I've gone totally off-track over the past month and have gained another approx. 10lbs. There I've said it.
BUT, I'm not going into panic mode. I've spent the last few weeks blaming:
1. "HIM" - you know, that wonderfully sweet guy who keeps telling me he loves me no matter how much I weigh;
2. Mthrgoos - how dare she attend to living her own life when she knows I need her constant support and reassurance (kidding hon);
3. The weather - what a horrible winter it's been and here it's mid-April and still cold and rainy and miserable. Not only am I craving comfort foods, but I can't stomach going out hiking in this crap;
4. My job - I'm rarely getting home before 10pm these days and we sit around conference tables munching on snacks and ordering in Chinese all evening;
5. Menopause - can't wait for this to be over. It's making me cranky, hungry and lazy;
6. The "I've lost over a 100lbs. so I can afford to binge for awhile" syndrome. Very, very, very dangerous. The pants are getting tighter - I CANNOT afford to binge and anyway bingeing is a horrible habit from my past. I thought I'd left that behind;
7. I just love food. But I've been in this game long enough to know that "good" food can taste, and certainly feels, better than "bad" food.
Sooooo, enough with blaming everyone and everything. I'm ready to take full responsibility for my own foolish actions. I've done it before and I'll do it again. I know what I have to do and I'll just have to buckle down and do it. I'm not at all fond of this out of control feeling and in fact I feel like crap right now. Nothing I've eaten so far (okay, except maybe that half a cheesecake at Easter) tasted as good as I feel when I've just finished a 3 hour hike or fit into a new pair of pants or gotten a star or ribbon at Weight Watchers.
I've worked too hard for too long to slip back into a lifestyle of self-loathing (geez, I AM being tough on myself). Right now my motivation is Chicago. Originally I wanted to be at goal by Chicago, but now I'm shooting to be what I was pre-Christmas. At least I was feeling good, even if I still had approx. 20lbs. to lose.
Oh, Jillegal, you sweetie pie...... I send you : and a heartfelt --- you're ok....you've achieved so much already, and you're seeing where you've misstepped, and you're moving on. So you lost focus for a minute -- in the great scheme of things, that's all it is. You'll win again, and you'll be proud of yourself again........because you're awesome! You're back in the saddle again!
And really...darn that MthrGoose anyway; who does she think she is??!!
jill - Hugs to you for laying it on the line. You've done it before, and I have no doubts you'll do it again. Maybe we can do it together. For, I too have a confession....
I am once again back on sweets. I was doing good, feeling strong, and all it took was for one person who usually is strong for me (although that's NOT their job) to tell me it was OK, and I was off....brownie...cookies...Dairy Queen cheesecake blizzard. **Sigh**. And if I am eating that crap, you can just imagine what my diet consists of.
I know it's wrong, but today is a wash for me. I have Bunko tonight where there is just more temptation.
But tomorrow screams a new chance...a new day. I have already committed to a 20 min workout. Now I'll committ to 2000 calories. And not a calorie more!!
AND I will face the scale that I have been so conviently avoiding.
Well...what can I say, I think you ladies pretty much said it all !!!!!
I guess, when I started this journey for the last time, I said..."what is gonna make this the last time I sit here and ponder this? What did not work for me in the past? What am I the Queen of...?" I am Queen of Excuses...so...knowing this and being fully aware of this character flaw...I said that I MUST live in a a NO EXCUSE , NO FAIL Environment. And that means excatly what it says...I can not live by using excuses all of the time. (since I am so good at it) So far, it has been working....do I slip...hells yeah...but I have no excuse for it
Tammy - I have the exact same problem in the evenings. I'm fine during the day but once that sun sets... I turn into a sweets vampire! Sucking the sugar out of anything I can get my hands on. I'm trying something new:
1) I make a low cal dessert of fruit and milk or SF hot cocoa around 8-9PM. This seems to satisfy a bit of my sweet thirst.
2) Put everything away in the kitchen, wipe down the counters, clean the sink.
3) Turn off the lights in the kitchen. Close it essentially.
4) Turn the TV off. (those late night commericals really do a number on me) Go brush my teeth and get into PJs. Read a book, surf the web, journal, whatevah!
The real test came for me last night when I was digging around the pantry for some spenda for my milk/strawberry "smoothie" and I happened upon some girl scout cookies. I looked away REALLY fast and started chanting, "It's not there! It's not there!" It was hysterical.
I satisfy the nighttime sweets monster with an almost nightly treat of low-fat, low-carb flavored yogurt and 1/2 cup somewhere-between-thawed-and-frozen unsweetened berries........YUM!! Blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, strawberries....it's all good! It's factored into my daily calories, so I'm guilt-free and can loudly moan my pleasure!
Ah, and if I'm really jonesing for chocolate, a Skinny Cow will do the trick....but at like 120 or so empty calories, it's a special treat, not for daily consumption.
Oh yeah, how can I forget to suggest one of my Favs...
Sugar Free Fugicals...and sugar free fruit2O lemon Italian Ice....OOOOOOOHhhhhhh baby
Who makes those, Gina??? I LOVE LEMON ITALIAN ICE!!!! I grew up in Manhattan, and we used to have the Italian Ice carts come around every afternoon in the summer!
Well, I think I kind of redeemed myself today. This morning I took a good, fast walk about 4.0...for two miles. A couple hours later I was going to sit down and read and my friend knocks on the door. She wants to know if I want to go on a walk..lol..So, I went again for another 3 miles at about 3.5. Exercise so puts me in a good mood. I sometimes wonder why it is so hard to get motivated to do it when I feel so good afterwards. The mind sure works in mysterious ways.
Jessica, last night I was going to make some sugar and fat free jello pudding, and I was so tired that I did not do it. Had I done it, that would have calmed the craving considerably. I leave some open calories for the end of the evening, because I know I am going to need something. I just need to learn that I need to calm the craving before it gets totally out of control like it did last night. There are many low cal treats that I can think of to have. I just need to try to stick to them. so I don't have a repeat of this.
You all are just great!! I'm glad I stumbled onto this website. Thank you all!!
I did a bad, bad thing.
I feel so guilty this morning. I could just kick myself!!!
: and a heartfelt 
--- you're ok....you've achieved so much already, and you're seeing where you've misstepped, and you're moving on. So you lost focus for a minute -- in the great scheme of things, that's all it is. You'll win again, and you'll be proud of yourself again........because you're awesome! You're back in the saddle again!
I grew up in Manhattan, and we used to have the Italian Ice carts come around every afternoon in the summer!
