[Step]

OK … I ***** and moan when my husband is working out of state and not home during the week …. But I have a more difficult time staying on plan when he is here!!!

This is his second week home and I’m not doing well … this is in NO WAY, his fault and I take full responsibility for my bad choices … but it’s just different. He actually IS supportive … some of my reason for having an easier time when he’s not here is pure logistics. For example, when he’s away, I’m working on a VERY tight schedule … I don’t have the time to stop on the way to work for a cup of coffee. I can’t “succumb to temptation” at the coffee shop if I don’t go there. I need to have a rough idea of what’s for dinner each night so that I don’t waste time figuring it out when I get home – so I make my decisions when I’m NOT hungry. My kids sleep on the third floor. My son gets upset at the thought of being “left alone up there”. Once he’s in bed at 8pm, I don’t leave my 2nd floor (which consists of my family room, ‘laundry closet’, bedroom and bathroom) -- for a while he was getting up to check to be sure I was still there and I don’t want to upset him. So, if I can’t go to my first floor kitchen, I can’t nibble at night. And, I don’t have another adult there bringing snacks up to the family room.

BUT … there’s other things … I rely on him (which I can’t do if he’s not there) and sometimes he doesn’t think that what he’s doing (or not doing) will have an impact on me! Yesterday HE asked what I wanted for dinner … I told him “it really doesn’t matter, as long as there’s lots of veggies and not too much starch”. I’m fighting PMS cravings something wicked this week -- I did NOT give in at work but went home ready to eat a horse. When I arrived home he was sitting on the porch watching the kids play in the dusting of snow we had (we haven’t had ANY snow since they got new slide-y things for Christmas.) I said “what do I need to do to wrap-up dinner?” His answer: “Oh nothing’s started … I’m going to give the kids noodle soup, grilled cheese, celery and carrots”. Um, what about me??!? He thought we could figure it out and eat later. But I was hungry!!! I then proceeded to go in and start cooking for the kids and eat everything in sight … I did manage to stop before things got totally out of hand … but needless to say, a handful of olives, 2 slices of cold pizza and 4 cookies is NOT a healthy or satisfying meal! And I didn’t feel too good about myself afterwards.

To my credit … in times past, I would have “snacked” like I did and then AFTER the kids were in bed, I would have eaten a ‘real’ meal ---- so this was a bit of an improvement!

Next Monday my husband starts a new temp position out of state … and this time it’s too far away for him to come home for mid-week visits like in the past. (But it’s only for 5-8 weeks). I’ll have to say good-bye to my hour-long lunch break walks (cuz of my need to drop-off and pick-up my kids at certain times, I’ll only take a 20-30 minute lunch break) … and I know the kids will miss Dad terribly … but in some respects, I AM looking forward to seeing better results. How bad is that?

[looosingit]

A routine makes the whole eating thing that much easier....I understand what you mean. When you can pre-make the decisions you don't make rash, impulsive (bad) food choices....at least that is KEY for me!

Plus, I would imagine that when your husband is home, it must feel kind of celebratory to have him around. What's a good celebration without celebration-type food???

Can you pre-plan for the challenges you will face while your husband is home?? Seems like you are the fit a plan into a tight spot QUEEN - afterall you manage to run your job, house, kids, eating, etc...on your own! Wow! Maybe you just need to plan how you are going to tackle your freedom (time, food, etc) when your partner is around?

Blah - don't know if I am expressing myself very well today....Have bad case of spring fever!

[Monkeybabies]

I can't offer much advice except that I do horrible myself on the weekends, because my dh is around. For some reason, my planing goes out the window too. Just keep with it....and move on. Also, now when I prepare dinner, I try to eat a handful of nuts or something....so I don't binge while making a meal....but I know the feeling of absolute starvation!

I also feel for ya about the kiddos missing their dad. My DH is smack dab in the middle of tax season, and doesn't see the kids Monday through Saturday...so I could just imagine what it is like for you and the kids while he goes away.

I am glad you posted, you have been heard!

[jiffypop]

oh my oh my oh my!!!! he certainly does have a relaxed attitude about food, doesn't he????

bottom line: DON'T WALK IN THAT DOOR HUNGRY!!!!! as loosingit pointed out you ARE the organization QUEEN!!! but you've been organizing everyone and everything except YOURSELF!!!!!

so, here are some ideas.. and i'm sure there are MANY others.

get yourself one of those insulated little lunch bags. pack it with things you like and know will satisfy you. maybe 1/2 c cottage cheese, or yoghurt, or some string cheese. or fruit. or whatever.

and then, when you walk in the door, before you even talk with anyone... make yourself something warm to drink [or you could even stop and get something]. i find some chai made with tea bags [no calories], a splash of milk, and sweetener, to be VERY satisfying.

and then sit for a few minutes., talk with DH and the kids. breathe. and THEN launch into the dinner problem.

ya gotta keep your blood sugar up, not let yourself get hungry, keep your wits about you. and stay calm!!!!

[Jillegal]

Okay Step, this might sound a bit cruel, but I think him being away for the next 5-8 weeks could really work to your advantage right about now. While he's away do all those great organizational things you do, lose some serious weight, get right into the proper mindset, and then by the time he comes home you'll be so far ahead of the game and feeling soooo good about yourself that you won't let ANYTHING (including him) put you off track. Now I know the kids will miss him and I know you're run off your feet when he's not around, but I really think you should concentrate of his absence being a good thing that will allow you to really ingrain your program into your psyche. Now don't go feeling guilty because you secretly feel a bit relieved he'll be away (we know you love the guy and will miss him dearly), but now's the time to put yourself first and take advantage of an opportunity a lot of other people might not have available to them. Hey, and with him being away so long, think of all the activity points you'll rack up when he does gets home (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Heck, you'll probably be able to scoff down a danish afterwards without ill effect (much more satisfying than a cigarette). Anyhoo - give him a big kiss, scoot him out the door and do your thing girl!!!

[Jen]

I have similar problems in some respects. We are all over the place as far as dinner time goes as my dh is here sometimes at a regular hour, sometimes really late or sometimes I am not here until 7-7:30pm or so after I am done work. It makes regulating dinner for our 2 year old difficult. Dh is unwilling at this time to make supper at 5 or 6pm when I am not home because he can't cook but our 2 year old can't wait until I get home. By the time I get home even if we have take out it is past 8 and he has to be in bed shortly after that. He is usually too wound up from me just getting home and then eating to want to go to bed. Then on the nights that I am home I usually have no clue if dh is going to be home for supper or not and even if I phone him he doesn't know either. I've just taken to making supper for my son and me and dh has to have leftovers. It is difficult to plan around dh because his hours are so erratic. I am planning on making up some kind of casserole or simple meal he can heat up for our 2 year old and himself when I am not home so that I am not always getting take out at 7:30pm a couple of times a week. It is getting too expensive for one thing plus it isn't fair that I should have to worry about dinner after working a 12 hour shift.