[Livi29]

Hey there! I've been putting this off for a while because my shyness (social anxiety, severe awkwardness, tomayto tomahto) makes me second guess what to say and how to start here... but I'm reaching a breaking point and am hoping having an outlet to get and give support will be the little push I need.

I had lost 90lbs over the course of several years. Then, over another several years, gained it all back. A lot of things happened to contribute - a divorce, a tumultuous relationship following that, dealing with mental illness and ultimately just learning how to get control of my life. That lead to a lot of emotional eating and fitness got tossed very far to the wayside.

But, if I'm being honest, the main obstacle preventing me from getting back on the weight loss wagon right now is a don't care anymore. Looks was my main motivator when I was younger, but now it doesn't matter to me that much. Yes I would like to look better, but I look okay, so passing up that muffin at work or the candy and netflix with my hunny at night is much harder. Overall I'm happy now, and previously I got myself to stick to weight loss by making myself miserable and I was never satisfied with my results.

What I do want is to feel better physically. I'm sick of joint/muscle aches and constant fatigue. I know that if I ate healthier, got back in shape, and dropped even a little weight it would make a difference. But my actions are directly contradicting that goal. So I need to whip myself into shape and re-learn some healthy habits.

[Chanticleer]

Welcome, Livi!

It sounds like the last time you lost weight it was kind of rough on you. I recommend that if you lose weight again, do it for an internal reason (your desire to feel more comfortable with less pain and fatigue is probably a good one), and do it by methods that don't make you miserable. Losing weight is tough enough without every step being a constant struggle.

I don't know what you did to lose weight last time, but have you thought about some kind of portion control? Calorie counting, macro counting, exchange programs, something with points (like Weight Watchers), or just smaller serving sizes. That way, you don't have to give up snacks and treats, and instead you just incorporate them into your day. If you think you'll want a muffin, you incorporate it. If you'll want a snack while watching Netflix with your partner, incorporate it. Basically, eat 'regular food,' but less of it. It requires some attention and planning (though not as much as other methods), but it can be very helpful for some people. And it's easier/faster once you get used to it.

Maybe tell us what you did before and the parts of it that didn't work so well for you, and we can help you come up with something new. You can also take a look around the site and see what others are doing. If someone is doing something that seems interesting to you, ask them about it. Most people on here are very willing to share information about their weight loss plans.

[Livi29]

Thanks for the welcome!

Last time around I lost with calorie counting, and it works very well for me except that I get kind of obsessive. I would begin to feel guilty for say, having a banana because it was a whole 100 calories, or for paying attention to hunger ques and going over my daily calories even just a little regardless if it was with nutritious food.

I want to calorie count again, but the last go around left a bad taste in my mouth even though I know its just a tool and it was my unhealthy outlook on food that caused the problem. So I think I'm going to ease back into it and start with adding more healthy food into my diet and trying to switch out junky food with something nutritious as much as I can then start counting again.

Right now what I'm thinking about tackling first is getting some structure with my meals. Currently it's all over the place I think I'm hungry so I eat (and honestly not a vegetable to be seen most days). It's been hard to differentiate whether I'm eating from hunger, stress, or just boredom.

The main difficulty in regulating my meals and snacks is that my work hours are very irregular and are always changing, (somedays I start work at 5am, other days 2pm with no repeating pattern) but I do get my schedule in advance so if I just put a little planning into it I can work it out. I just need to get myself to stick to it.

I have an intense fear of being hungry, or feeling deprived (probably intensified by how I dieted before). And I'm definitely a person who gets "hangry" but I'm wondering if a big part of that is just the lack of nutrition and how many simple carbs I eat. So in tandem with creating some kind of routine for my meals I want to get back into cooking more at home and incorporating foods that will help level out my hunger so I don't get that sudden shaky "have to eat right NOW" moments.

[Nightowlrn]

Welcome and good luck in your journey. This sounds like a perfect place for you to get to know people, share ideas with other for what will work for you, and to maybe join in on a few challenges once you get your groove on.

[Chanticleer]

Sounds like you have a good plan to start with! I'd give that a shot for at least a month and see how it goes for you. Maybe keep nutritious snacks on hand for when you're hungry. That may help relieve your anxiety about being hungry - you can just reach for a snack! Maybe having a number of meals already made for the week would help - then you can just grab a meal or two and take it with you to work when necessary?

Let us know how things are going on this website as you try things out!