Lighten Up! Feeling a little stressed out over your diet? This forum is for you! Laugh a little, relax, and take a load off!

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Old 07-07-2016, 07:41 PM   #1  
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Default Dog Food Diet

So I'm at PetSmart buying a bag of dog food for my dog. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog food Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with food Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Now that you've read this I have to confess, I copied it.
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Old 07-07-2016, 11:21 PM   #2  
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I told myself if I resorted to eating animal food, I would go with rat chow aka "Lab Blocks" They are vegan so none of the worry about eating dead dogs from the pound, you know, or whatever passes as protein to pet food manufacturers. (AKA not fit for human consumption). Lab Blocks are like eating pure vitamin pills and fiber snacks at the same time. You could probably live on Lab Blocks and a salad.
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Old 07-09-2016, 10:41 AM   #3  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrairieQueen View Post
So I'm at PetSmart buying a bag of dog food for my dog. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog food Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with food Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Now that you've read this I have to confess, I copied it.

And I'm copying it from you, PQ! LOL
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Old 07-09-2016, 10:57 AM   #4  
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Crying laughing....I love that joke.
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Old 07-11-2016, 07:35 AM   #5  
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I love it!!
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Old 02-13-2017, 03:59 PM   #6  
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How did you ever keep a straight face?
Hilarious.
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Old 06-04-2017, 12:43 PM   #7  
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That's great- I wish I were there for whoever said this! Too funny!
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Old 10-31-2017, 01:24 PM   #8  
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what a funny joke
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Old 12-23-2018, 10:22 PM   #9  
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LOLOL!!!!

Luvit!!
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Old 02-14-2024, 04:57 PM   #10  
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Now that you've read this I have to confess, I copied it.
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