[finn]

Hey,

So I enquired about some secondhand furniture of a website, called around to the guys house to view and came the closest to love at first sight I've ever come. Well it was definitely lust at first sight. Lol! So much so that I bought the furniture....to be fair I'd prob would have bought the house if he asked :-)

A week later the furniture gets delivered and I still haven't paid the guy. He offered to come over and help me put it together on sat night just gone. We sat chatting for an hour, got on so well and had so much in common, I even offered him dinner, then we put the stuff together. 2 hours here in total.
We left it saying it was really great to meet each other.

My question is.....do I presume that if he is interested he will make contact again, and that offering to come over was just to be nice and get paid. Or do I drop him a text to say thanks and if he wanted to meet up again give me a call? Is that too pushy?

Both mid/late 30's btw. Minor detail is that I don't know if he's single....hasn't mentioned otherwise though

[IanG]

I would meet in the middle. On the one hand, I would assume if he is interested he will make contact again.

But, on the other hand, if you do want to reach out then I would simply say "thanks for the help etc." but not go as far as to say if he wanted to meet up then give you a call.

A simple "thanks" should give any guy enough of a hint.

If you get no response, or no invitation to meet up, then move on.

And do not assume he is single. That will be one of the first questions to ask should he bite.

[Wannabehealthy]

That was good advice Ian. I learned too late that if a guy is interested, he'll make a move. I was always pushy! LOL Luckily, my husband was pushy, too!

[nonameslob]

I don't know, in my experience, men don't take hints. Never assume that he will make the next move, because men are just as likely as women to be too shy or nervous to make the call. I see nothing wrong with calling him up and saying you really enjoyed spending time with him the other day and would he be interested in getting together for coffee/drinks/whatever? Just be prepared for him to say no - you may find out he is unavailable. But how else are you expecting to find out? At the very least I'm sure he would take it as a compliment.

Just realized this is the UK forum. Hope you don't mind me popping in here with my opinion.

[IanG]

I see nothing wrong with calling him up and saying you really enjoyed spending time with him the other day and would he be interested in getting together for coffee/drinks/whatever

The potential problem with that is that a disproportionate amount of guys will say yes, whether they are single or not or really interested or not.

So he may well bite but his intentions may not be as you hoped i.e. one night stand.

At least if he gets the chance to perceive himself as the first-mover, albeit with a gentle hint, his intentions will be more pure.

[finn]

Thanks for the advice guys! Iang, you were totally spot on!!
I've texted him to say thanks. Ball firmly in his court ⚽

[faiora]

Originally Posted by IanG

I would meet in the middle. On the one hand, I would assume if he is interested he will make contact again.

But, on the other hand, if you do want to reach out then I would simply say "thanks for the help etc." but not go as far as to say if he wanted to meet up then give you a call.

A simple "thanks" should give any guy enough of a hint.

If you get no response, or no invitation to meet up, then move on.

And do not assume he is single. That will be one of the first questions to ask should he bite.

Hah! This is hilarious because I would take the exact opposite approach.

Firstly, I would not make any assumptions about his interest in me. I would assume he was just being nice and helping out and showing up to do business.

So I would treat the situation as if it was someone who hadn't considered dating me at all. I'd be straightforward, just call him up or send an email or something and say "Hey, it was nice to meet you and I was wondering, do you want to go for lunch sometime?"

The ball isn't really in his court if he doesn't know there's a game on. He might just put the ball away in the storage closet thinking you're done with it.

[IanG]

Where the heck do men find ladies like you faiora?

I have certainly never had the pleasure. And in my 39 years on this Earth, I can only recall one friend in my early 20s ever being offered the same. And he received that news by mail!

[faiora]

Originally Posted by IanG

Where the heck do men find ladies like you faiora?

I have certainly never had the pleasure. And in my 39 years on this Earth, I can only recall one friend in my early 20s ever being offered the same. And he received that news by mail!

I got snatched up early... much to my own surprise since I wasn't looking for love. I'm pretty wrapped up in my own stuff most of the time. My husband's lucky he's so amazing, or I probably wouldn't give him much attention.

Your reaction tells me my method would work, though. So I win

[nonameslob]

Originally Posted by faiora

Hah! This is hilarious because I would take the exact opposite approach.

Firstly, I would not make any assumptions about his interest in me. I would assume he was just being nice and helping out and showing up to do business.

So I would treat the situation as if it was someone who hadn't considered dating me at all. I'd be straightforward, just call him up or send an email or something and say "Hey, it was nice to meet you and I was wondering, do you want to go for lunch sometime?"

The ball isn't really in his court if he doesn't know there's a game on. He might just put the ball away in the storage closet thinking you're done with it.

Exactly....

Curious if the OP ever heard from the guy. I really really suggest rethinking your strategy.

Ian, if a girl is worried about it turning into a one night stand, the solutuon is simply not sleeping with him the first night!

[IanG]

This is just so weird.

I am from the UK.

So I get what it's like there.

But I now live in the US.

And ladies are even less forward with men in the US than in the UK.

And I am reading all this.

What the....?

Ian, if a girl is worried about it turning into a one night stand, the solutuon is simply not sleeping with him the first night!

I only said that might probably be his intentions. Not the outcome. Hardly a desirable date.

But all being said, at nearly 40 years of age I do understand that it is firmly the ladies that choose the men and not vice versa.

But the how they choose is what we are debating.

[finn]

Originally Posted by nonameslob

Exactly....

Curious if the OP ever heard from the guy.

I sent him a text saying "greetings from London (I had said I was flying there on business for a few days). Just a wee note to say thanks again for saving the day on Sat. Was much appreciated, it was great to finally hang some stuff up!"

Within a minute I got a reply "Not sure I was that much help in the end. You're a dab hand with the old powertool!"

I replied back with "Couldn't have done it without you! In any case the company was worth it "

nothing since then....presume I just leave it!

[nationalparker]

But you've paid him, right?

[finn]

Yeah I did the night he called round!