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Old 07-02-2014, 03:45 PM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,862

Default Anyone deal with occassional, unexplainable short episodes of crippling depression?

I am wondering if anyone else suffers from this.

Most of the time, I'm fine. "Normal" feeling. Energetic, happy...I get upset if there's a reason, but nothing out of the ordinary.

But about 2-3 times a year, maybe a bit more I get sudden depression. It just comes out of no where and I feel like I'm buried under 10 feet of darkness. Its awful. I cant figure out what causes it or how to make it stop.

At the shortest, it might last a week. I had a very bad episode that lasted about 6-7 months several years ago.

The worst thing is when I get into these funks, I eat eat eat eat to the point of sickness over eating, an I put on weight so fast, like crazy fast, because of how much I eat daily. I also stop exercising. Stop wanting to go out, stop doing anything that I should be doing (like go all day and don't do the dishes, simple chores.) I skip taking the kids to functions, and stop showering and getting dressed. I have no desire to do anything, I just sit on the computer all day, reading message boards and watching junk tv. I am mostly blah, but I'm irritable if I'm not left alone, just generally grumpy. I have like a zero tolerance for stress and simple decision making. I'm tired, and can barely get out of bed, I'm so tired, drowsy during the day. This is especially hard because when I'm not depressed I get up at 5am to run. So I've been peeling myself out of bed around 7a for the kids. I also have no desire to run anyway. But I really miss my mornings. I've been setting my alarm and I'm literally sleeping through it! Like I don't even remember it going off! I'm beyond tired.

I'm sure that the staying in, very poor nutrition and lack of exercise only magnify this, but I have taken noticed that those things don't precede the depression, that the depression comes first.

I am terrified of these episodes. Big part because of weight, this is always when I regain my weight, its awful. I don't know how long it will last. Its just like one day I wake up and feel like myself again.

Anyway it started Friday, I felt it and I was just trying to ignore it. But here it is.

What the **** is going on???

I edited it to say, I'm not sad. Its weird. I really like my life. I'm "happy" and grateful. I know I'm happy but its like there's this wall keeping me from feeling it.

Last edited by GlamourGirl827; 07-02-2014 at 03:52 PM.
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