[icantbelieveit]

I weighed in at over 400 pounds today. I just want to lay in bed and cry right now. I've been through a lot, and I let it give me the excuse to just gain and gain. Not getting into the tragedies, so I'll focus on the good stuff that I used as an excuse to overeat and be lazy. I was already quite obese when I got pregnant with my first child. I gained 35 pounds through the pregnancy, gained even more after giving birth, got pregnant again 8 months later, kept my weight pretty steady but gave up, got pregnant again, put on a ton of weight, gave birth, recovered and kept gaining, and now this is where I am now. I've got 3 kids under 2 1/2, and I stay home and take care of them. I'm exhausted. I can't keep up. All I want to do is sit in a recliner all day and relax the day away because getting up and doing anything takes so much energy out of me now. I hate this so much. All I've ever wanted to do is have kids and run around with them and have fun and teach them and be a great parent, but I cannot keep up with their running. I need this weight to stop piling on, so I need to figure out what to do. I am committed to eating better. My fridge is stocked with fruits and veggies and proteins. I'm committed to limiting my grain intake because I overdo it BIG time on grains. I've been doing a 1-mile-walk video every other day for the past 2 weeks, and that 15 minutes is really pushing the amount of time I have this winter - hopefully it will be easier when the weather warms up and I can take all the kids out for walks, but the ground has been wet and frozen here for months! HELP!!!!!! I am so desperate!

Also thanks but no thanks for advice on my kids. I do need to add this because I don't need help with them - just with myself. They are all healthy weights, energetic, enjoy eating healthy and are given proper portions.

[Pattience]

Hi there. You have come here and if you stick around i am sure you will lose the most part of this weight. We need to support or supportive tools when on a journey like this.

If you find the site not enough, get a therapist or counsellor for extra support as well. Go along once a week. Preferably look for one who has an interest in weight issues. They do tend to have their special interests. Maybe you gp could help you find such a person.

Anyway, I guess i don't really understand the blitzing on bread and pasta thing so much because a i don't really do it and b, these foods are not high in calories. I think its what people put on the stuff that is the problem.

Anyway, you seem to know you have to eat nutritious foods. YOu may find the high protein diet as described in the CSIRO Total Wellbeing Diet books right up your street. The meals are yummy and the nutrition info very good and its easy to keep tabs on your calories than calorie counting.

Oh make sure you keep a food diary.

The only think i would say about the book which i disagree with them is to make sure you don't restrict your calories so much that you are hungry too often. I found when i followed their program which is designed to help you lose 1 kg on average a week for people who are overweight like me, to be too hungry. So now i keep my calories just below what i need to maintain. You need to find that sweet spot about hunger and satiety. As i go on and lose weight, i reduce the calorie intake, and yet i don't actually count calories every day. I have a pretty good idea of what is the right amount and just occasionally check up on it on my fitness pal.

I used their calculator to figure out what my initial calorie level should be.

Given your current weight, i don't think you should worry too much about exercise. It just puts too much strain on your hips, back and knees. But if you want to do something like water aerobics or other exercise that doesn't stress your body so much that would be good. Just maybe stick with housecleaning or gardening and things like that. AS you get thinner, you can start to do more walking and things of that kind. I don't even like the idea of running yet and i'm 163 pounds which means i am still officially overweight. I will start once i get into my healthy weight range. I mean knee replacements are not cheap, not always effective and they are very common in people who've lived a long time overweight.

I would banish sweet foods if they are problem for you. They are a problem for me and they are verboten on my daily menu. I have no control with them. I make do with fresh fruit which luckily i love for sweetness.

So the other big challenge you have and i have too, is to keep boredom away. I have done this successfully this time by starting a new business sewing clothing. I work at home. My time is my own. I love it. I have learnt a lot from the internet and library books.

You could do something like that, if not for business just do it for the mental activity. Some sort of craft work you can do at home or join a group could be just the thing to keep your mind off food. But a hobby anyway. These days you don't really need to lay out a great deal of money on courses and books and even materials because we can learn so much on the net and b, we can pick up materials from anywhere quite cheaply. I practice on second hand fabrics - sheets and duvet covers which are cheaper than buying calico. Also our the women at our local fabric shop have been really helpful in me choosing tools and materials that will save me money. If it was sewing and clothing you wanted to do but worried about money, you could get into recycling clothing. You could make a new garment out of two or three secondhand ones. Or make bags or other accessories or household items, kids toys or jewellery. My partner's girlfriend has been busy for the last few years knitting these really cute little pollywogs for all her grandchildren. She has a lot.

I have just now bought some books from amazon but i've learned about technique a lot before that without buying books and i've decided i'm not going to do a course - mainly because there isn't one around here and i don't feel i really need to do one either with all the extra help online and from books. That is to say, i am managing to learn how to make my own patterns. I don't buy them. I would love to do a course but i am going straight into business without being an expert because i've done it before and learning on the job and making money is more fun and motivating than waiting until you've learnt everything.

Also finding a topic that you love to learn about by reading non-fiction books is a good way of passing the time productively without your mind wandering to food.

But reading is a bit sedentary so you do need to find little ways to exercise. The main thing i think about exercise for you is give your body a reason to develop some muscles. Muscles burn calories faster. You could work on developing the muscles in your upper body just.

Anyway i'm prattling on quite a lot. I hope i don't frighten you off.

Wanting to be able to run about with the kids is an excellent reason for losing weight so i hope you get there. Don't be feeding them cakes and ice-cream and stuff all the time though. Feed them healthy like you are feeding yourself.

[silentarctic]

It sounds like you are already making the changes you need to with the stocking the fridge with healthy foods. Give the changes time to yeild results. If you were overeating a lot before even just eating a more balanced diet with sensible portions will probably yeild results in the beginning. You can always revise your plan as you go and figure out what works for you and your lifestyle.

[Ubee]

Ican'tbelieveit!
The 300+ group is a very unique bunch. You name it we've tried it. The important thing is to find what works for you. Baby steps are great! This is a life long journey. Be open to change you are not married to any plan. Feel free to try until you find what works.
I started with South Beach then added calorie counting. I found that it was not for me. I now have given up all grains and sugars and no longer binge. Grain Brain is a strict diet but it has worked wonders for our daughter with autism. Plus, I love all the foods.
You can do this. My daughter is VERY active and I was always tired. Three kids under 3 years old is a lot of work. Be kind to yourself and use them as your motivation.
Please join us in the 300+ chat thread when you feel ready. You can do this!
Ubee

[elvislover324]

Welcome!

I read your post and felt like I was reading my own words when you said you just want to lay in your bed and cry. That feeling is something I lived with for so very long.

In the beginning of my weight loss journey, starting with simple changes of cutting out soda, fried foods, bread (I'm a carb junky) was a huge start for me. Exercise was near impossible as I was so out of shape. I started with 10 minutes here and there on my treadmill and applauded myself. Slowly it became 15 minutes then 20 and now I can run a 5k in about 40 minutes. It's nothing short of a miracle that started with me not knowing how I could make changes in my life to be healthy and strong.

I hope you post here often. The 300+ group Ubee referenced above is something I still read and refer to, it was my home for a long time. I hope you find it as helpful as I did!

Good luck!

[icantbelieveit]

Thanks for the kind words, tips and info! I have tried so many things in the past, and the only thing that ever worked was 1600 calories and lots and lots of exercise. I, too, am a carb junkie. I have never had ONE serving of pasta, and since I've eaten so many carbs, I was always hungry. I am slowly breaking away from it, I've changed my eating quite a bit over the years but haven't seen the changes because I still allow myself to overdo it on the carbs.

I adopted a paleo lifestyle during my second pregnancy and maintained my weight through it, even getting in extra carbs to stay out of ketosis. I am trying to get myself back on that path because I felt amazing and looked great. Now I have to learn how to put myself first because I take so much care and put so much effort into my kids - obviously with their ages I don't have much of a choice there. But I do need to make myself a priority, and I'm so glad I found a place to go to for support.

[Vortex_VVV]

Congrats on bringing those three little ones into the world and being a devoted mother!

I don't know how compatible this is with paleo, but I try to incorporate elements of volumetrics into my diet (though Weight Watchers is my official "plan.") The idea is way simpler than the books make it seem. Non-starchy veggies, low-cal fruits like watermelon and berries, broth-based soups; these foods are low cal but filling. The official "diet" has you classify foods based on calorie density, but personally all I do is try to make sure I have a food like this in each meal.

And, I'm like you: I've always found that for me, exercise is key. Since I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, I've also found that regulating exercise does more to keep my blood sugar stable than anything I've ever done with food (low carb, same number of carbs at each meal, etc., etc.) Trying those things makes negligible difference in fasting blood sugar numbers for me, but exercising (and especially trying to avoid sitting for long periods of time) makes a much larger difference, and I think that's why I have such trouble losing weight when I'm not exercising.

I started out at a lower top weight than you (330) but I did find that I was able to work up from 15 minutes of exercise to 30 before I even reached 300, and once I hit 30 minutes a day, that seemed to be a magic number for me. So, obviously, listen to your body and be careful to avoid injury, but if you know exercise is key, keep doing what you can.

Okay, here's a weird tid-bit that might be useful to you. A couple of years ago I read a study (sorry, I can't remember exactly where, but it was when I was doing freelance writing for a medical science web site, so it was a peer-reviewed medical journal). Anyway, the study was looking at chamber maids in hotels--you know, people who move around ALL day as part of their work. The researchers were interested in whether or not the maids saw all this work as exercise or not, and they found that most of them didn't.

When the researchers tried telling one group of the maids just how many calories they were burning during their work day, and encouraged them to think of what they were doing as exercise, they found that the maids lost weight without making any other changes to their diet or exercise. Apparently, being intentional about the fact that motion is exercise makes a difference. The researchers theorized that possibly the maids who were given their calorie burning totals might have started putting just a little more effort into their motions, or breathed more deeply while working, but they didn't have a definitive answer.

Anyway, I'm thinking you're probably moving around a lot just like those maids, but maybe not thinking of all the movement you do with the kids as exercise.

Enjoy the journey!

[Terra1984]

I try to walk 3 times a day for 45 mins each time and I've cut back on my eating and I've lost 8 pounds so far so I must be doing something right. I started my weight loss journey for a 2nd time on Jan. 16th of this year. Good luck on your journey

[Pattience]

Re What vortex says about the maids. I've done that job quite a lot in the past. I worked at the sheraton for a year. I was aware it was exercise and since then i've often advocated that doing a physical job is a great way to lose weight since you get paid while you exercise.

It even improves your cardiac fitness. I remember once all of a sudden deciding to try running along the beach after not having done anything of the kind for years. The only exercise i was doing was the work, and before that year, i'd been quite sedentary. I was around 28 at the time. so the day i decided to run along the beach, i could easily run 1.5 km. I probably ran the return journey as well but i can't remember.

So hence, i say housework is good exercise. And it will work your upper body plenty. Cleaning windows and mirrors is very good for back and arms. Sweeping and raking is great. You do plenty of walking when cleaning.

So cleaning, gardening, even doing the shopping is good exercise.

It is possible that when you are aware of the value of the work in terms of exercise you might make a bit extra effort to do the job properly rather than just slob around as you do it. And it was good because i never resented my job knowing the benefits i was getting from it. I also enjoyed looking out the windows because the resort was lovely. And it was nice to see all the lovely things that people brought with them on holiday. And to meet them and they were always in a good mood because they were on holiday. So it wasn't a bad job. But not all hotel cleaning is so nice.

[icantbelieveit]

Oh yes. My OH and I took my kids to the beach (we live nearby, so we visit even in winter just to go look at the water and play in the sand). My oldest took off running in every direction, so while OH had the smaller kids, I was chasing after my oldest. Haha. We had a great time, and I was surprised how much sand running I was able to do. I agree that my fitness level is okay! It's my constant hunger I need to get under control... I've been hungry over this past week because I've kept myself down to meals and snacks (I'd normally just chow down on everything all day, and I feel like I'm "hungry" unless I'm "so stuffed that I can't move"), but I lost 4 pounds which is a fantastic start!

[elvislover324]

4lbs!!! Yay!!!

I could read your happiness in your post about running with your oldest in the sand, love it!!! Just remember when you exercise (even if it's "just" running around with the kids vs. doing something more "formal") you will be hungrier after burning those calories. My nutritionist taught me to keep ahead of my hunger so it doesn't lead to hungry, cranky, poor choices. It sounds so trivial but it's worked wonders for me. I always have an apple or a banana after I work out and I keep snacks in the car (fruit, veggies, protein bar) so I can't make excuses to grab something while I'm out and hungry.

I'm so excited for you!

[silentarctic]

Congrats on the loss, and the running. That's so great that you still have good fitness. I too struggle with eating, so I understand, I've been drinking a lot of water and tea lately to try and help keep me from snacking too much.

[Amberp]

Bless your heart with three little ones! I have two very active little boys 20 months and 4 1/2. I'm right there with you that I need to lose weight to keep up. We can do this!!! One bite and step at a time

[Pattience]

Originally Posted by elvislover324

4lbs!!! Yay!!!

I could read your happiness in your post about running with your oldest in the sand, love it!!! Just remember when you exercise (even if it's "just" running around with the kids vs. doing something more "formal") you will be hungrier after burning those calories. My nutritionist taught me to keep ahead of my hunger so it doesn't lead to hungry, cranky, poor choices. It sounds so trivial but it's worked wonders for me. I always have an apple or a banana after I work out and I keep snacks in the car (fruit, veggies, protein bar) so I can't make excuses to grab something while I'm out and hungry.

You are spot on on both points. I normally try to eat to avoid hunger but i like the words keep ahead of it.

And then today i went on an intense shopping trip which is unusual for me and i had to have a second lunch at 4pm. I contemplated some fruit from the supermarket but decided i wanted something more since i had at least two more hours before i could eat dinner.

I"m glad i had that sandwich.

[icantbelieveit]

I've gained so much control over this past week alone, and I'm feeling so much better already. Just by eating less. I haven't gotten myself into a "bloated" state all week. I've eaten a pre-determined portion for breakfast, lunch and snack. I've planned my meals well. I haven't been doing much formal exercise, but I have been on my feet a LOT more than normal, and my house has never been cleaner than when I started seeing my "cleaning" as "exercise". I really do feel so much better already. I've only got 20 pounds of baby weight to get rid of now from my third, so if I get rid of 2 pounds per week, I should have that weight GONE by May!

Thanks again, so so much, for helping me to get started. Now, I'm on the wagon and rolling along quite well. I usually don't get past 48 hours of any food changes, so a week is HUGE for me!