It seems like every time I get close to goal, I completely lose control and start eating like crazy again. I'm not there yet, but I've put a lot of emphasis on making it to ONEDERLAND. It's been so long since I've been there. I was 4 pounds away last week. Ever since, though, I've been eating sugar and junk like crazy and don't seem to be able to stay on track. Even on "good" days, I find myself drifting into the kitchen at night and putting away an extra 200 calories or so...just enough to keep me from losing. I'm so frustrated.
I've had binge eating issues since childhood and have seen a therapist about it in the past. I really thought I had it under control and have only had one or two binges in the past 15 months. To have two back-to-back is pretty scary for me. I don't want to start going back up again. I've been eating healthily and exercising, doing this 'the right way', and I just need to get my head in order to make it past these milestones. I don't know why they scare me so much, though.
Is anyone else their own worst enemy, and how do you deal with it?
I also need to struggle against self sabotage. I needed to admit to myself that I am a sugar addict and I am a budding alcoholic too. I have abstained from all my trigger foods, b/c even though they are not "sugar" my body spikes insulin and then I CRAVE more and more. I also fight my inner voice that tells me to fear looking pretty/pleasant/normal. I have found drinking tea and leaving tea all over the house in various containers help s to control my cravings.
Thanks! I'm a sugar addict, too. I cut it out cold-turkey for a while, then allowed myself one serving a week, and that worked out well. The problem is that I love to bake. I'm still learning how to balance my love of baking with my sugar addiction...I do know that I consumed 4000 calories on 2 separate days this past week, and both days I ate home-baked things (scones and cookies). I'm going to have to give it a rest for a while until I get things under control again.
I totally understand the self-sabotage part. Thank God I had 3FC and a strong group of friends online outside of here that keep my head in the game.
For once in my life, I am totally cognizant of the scale number (no matter what way it's moving, up or down) and things will NEVER ever spiral out of control for me again. 5lbs up? Maybe. 15-20lbs (esp. with the meds I'm on)? Definitely. But that's when it stops and I get back perfect on plan and remember why I started.
There is also the fact that I don't/can't buy bigger clothes and I donated all of my really big stuff. If that isn't motivation to get my act back together after a slipup, IDK what would be!
I always seem to do this at a certain weight. I past that point and thought I was ok. Well no, last week I was just out of control. I don't know why we do this to ourselves!
I can so relate. I only recently recognized that my binge eating habits were, in fact, a sign of addiction. This is my third go at serious weight loss. Both times before I've gained by everything I lost with self-sabotage. My hope is that now that I recognize the cause, I might be able to reason with myself a bit more and understand that I'm making a choice to eat when I'm not hungry. A bad one.
I watched this video that other day from a girl that is doing a video blog of her weight loss journey and it really resonated with me. I've never seen anyone else say it the way she does to the point that I recognize myself and my own habits.
Its probably time to stabilise your weight where you are now or slightly higher for a little while.
What you and scarlet are talking about sounds like the sort of thing i read about in a comprehensive article about diet and why people always seem to put the weight back on two years ago. It was in a reputable paper called the Australian and took a look at all the scientific studies around on this subject.
The idea is that once you lose a certain percentage of weight you body starts to fight back. you get a hungry hormone boost and you have a ravenous appetite. I'm sorry for not speaking more scientifically. I can't remember the right words. But there is a hormone called Leptin which i think this could be. Leptin is the thing behind your hunger. You need to beat the leptin.
Anyway i've also experienced it. So that's why i'm not going to hurry my weight loss. But my danger zone for is lower than my current goal. I've raised my final goal this time because i don't need to be super skinny really. But i might not give it up altogether. I do plan to stabilise my weight more often as i get lower down the scale.
The more overweight you are to begin with, the more you have to lose, the higher this danger zone will be. It sounds like you could be in the danger zone now.
So now if you were to take note of this idea, you would focus on stabilising your weight rather than losing and go into maintenance mode for some time. Also pay attention to your mood and thoughts around this. They can work against you as well.
Maintain optimism, ditch the negative self-castigating thoughts as soon as they arise.
I don't know what your usual program is, but maybe refresh it. Figure out your daily maintenance calories again and design a meal plan to fit that eating just good foods. I'd also stay away from trigger foods.
Determine to work on your resolve and its possible that things will settle down within a few days or a week or so. I don't know for sure but it sounds like it could work to me. But stabilise for a good while. Maybe a month or more.
Have some low cal or no cal strategies to deal with moments when you want to eat off plan. Water, a short walk to distract you, some light activity, switch your mind onto a different topic, tea as mentioned. I actually find coffee with milk to be good, fruit or even a bowl of fruit salad if you think your hunger is in any way reasonable, go to bed early. Have lots of activities planned so you can find it easier to distract yourself.
These are just some ideas that may work. But i think the main thing is to stabilise your current weight or go back up a few pounds until you can stabilise it. Work hard on your resolve. Don't give in.
When you resume reducing, do it slowly and carefully. Do not be in a hurry.
I just had another thoughts. Its a bit like altitude sickness. When climbing up a mountain, at a certain point individual to you, you start to experience altitude sickness symptoms. The only way to make those symptoms go away and to not worsen the condition is to descend again. Its not even advised to stay where you are. You must go down. Rest, recover and then ascend more slowly. The body needs to adjust to the new conditions. The body on a diet needs to adjust to the new low weight too.
I can definitely relate. I wish I had answers to help you but I am a binger as well. I am currently doing a Whole30 and trying to get my body accustomed to not "needing" those bad foods. I find that even when I allot a certain amount of cals for junk foods I always want more. Then I find myself eating crap all day long instead of eating good foods.
Hi Frances. I totally relate. I had to give up home baking. My Kitchenaide mixer is in the back of my cupboard and has laid dormant for years. NOT easy but necessary for me.
I am very familiar with self sabotage. I used to call them my "magic numbers". There were certain weights that as soon as I got near or below them, I would become frightened and eat my way back up to my "comfort zone" I can not say I ever figured out what was going on with me. I talked to my eating disorders therapist for years and at some point I was able to move beyond them. I am now weigh 100 and 140 pounds less than two of those numbers. The only advice I can give is that I never stopped trying.
Wishing you the best. It really is a journey and not a destination.
Dealing with Self-Sabotage
