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Old 02-16-2014, 08:26 PM   #77
IBelieveInMe2
I can do it!!!
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 813

S/C/G: 223/180/145

Height: 5'4"

Red face Hello!

I am coming here instead of eating more food after dinner. I have been hungry all day long, it seems. Made some poor choices in the afternoon (eating extra stuff), but had a good dinner after working out for 30 minutes on treadmill and doing some step-ups on a step platform. I was really disgusted with myself this afternoon for eating extra when I have so much weight to lose, so I am happy that I was able to regroup this evening. I guess I need to focus on one meal and one workout at a time again..... and not just one day at a time. I am so sad and frustrated about what a serious food addict I am (or have become). I don't think I was always addicted to food. It became a problem after my difficult pregnancies (several years ago). We lost one of our twins (1st pregnancy) due to extreme prematurity. They were born at 28 weeks. Thankfully, our (surviving twin) 17-year-old son is alive and well today! Then we had another difficult journey when we learned (about 3 years later) that our daughter would be handicapped. We had her Spina Bifida lesion repaired in utero..... and that was downright surreal. Then, she was born at 31 weeks, so back to the NICU we went. I didn't sign up for THAT twice in one lifetime!!! Anyway, after each of these events, and with the toll it took on our marriage, food became my comfort. In addition, I began another healing journey from sexual abuse and major family-of-origin dysfunction around this time. I continue to touch base with my therapist when needed. I am doing so much better than back then and our marriage was miraculously saved, but the food addiction remains. I feel weak for not being able to conquer this problem.

penmage: I am so sorry that another guy disappeared on you. Please hang in there!!! You are NOT ugly and you are NOT fat!!! That was rude and insensitive of your mom, IMHO, to say what she did. If she wanted to offer help, it could have been stated much gentler. I get sick of people trying to "help" and make things seem so easy..... when they haven't walked in my shoes. Even at the age of 47, my parents aren't always very tactful when trying to "help." Sometimes, they drive me downright CRAZY!!! My point is that you are NOT alone. Keep on doing the best you can and all will be well.

Fi: You are SO strong!!! Great that you have not succumbed to the cookie monster during this stressful time!!! That is a HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT!!! You should be so proud of yourself!

Hello to everyone else!
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