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Old 02-05-2014, 02:29 PM   #469
Let go!...Be free!
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Ca
Posts: 46

S/C/G: 239.6/204.6/157

Height: 5.7


I have missed you ladies!

Medeis- Thank you so much for your support and I love the self diagnosed statement. Remember when I was sick? I did alot of trying to figure out what my body was saying. Don't worry you will be back on track and no matter what the scale says when you get back we are here to support you and I am sure the scale will continue to show a lower number.

Sandy- I love your picture! I like candid pictures. Everything is so posed now a days. Sandy thanks for your honesty and I have been there big time but I agree with the day after. This is the first time if I mess up I just move on. Before I would just say frick it and boom back to the old miserable me. I used to have parties and go to functions but I have limited people I have kept in my life. Through the yrs if it's too much trouble, anxiety, trust etc I just don't deal with it. I am a punctual person and I have found many are not. It pisses me off like no other. So you are right in the way you felt. It's just plain rude.

I weighed today at home instead of waiting for Jenny. I have made sure my scale matches theirs everytime and mine sometimes comes out a bit higher. But this morning I was 210.6! 2 lbs down since Saturday.

I haven't been able to eat alot still. I am getting the bare minimum of Jenny foods and I know that isn't good but I am trying. The only times in my life I can't eat is during relationship issues. I am not sad about anything it is just a time in my life where I am reevaluating. During my 2.5 yr relationship with a man I have known since I was 12 has been stable but since the beginning I felt I was changing into what I felt he wanted. He didnt want me going out etc. So I quit drinking and smoking and going out and put on a ton of weight. I became resentful. I have now found my strength to stand my ground the more weight I lose. I am 33 and I had to grow up real fast in life.

So long story short I am starting to be me again. Not drinking and smoking in excess but doing the things that I want. I am tired of feeling in trouble being myself. Getting dresed up just because or going to a friends house without a million questions.

I have reconnected with my best friend of 15 yrs and I see her more now. I was set on leaving him but if he can let me live my life wihtout guilt then there may be a chance.

Who knows. But that's why I can't eat- just too much anxiety in my stomach for it. I think I am getting in 1000-1200 cal though. What a roller coaster in a few weeks I may be saying ladies! Help me stop eating! lol. Sorry for the ramble but I think you ladies are great and open and I feel like I need to be too.

michlove1980 is offline   Reply With Quote