So many of us were at the stage that you're at now. It is tiring. It's depressing, thinking that there is no way out of the endless cycle. Just before I restarted WW I remember telling a woman at work that I just couldn't stop eating. It was like I was addicted to food. I realise now that the foods I was eating were setting me up to binge more and more. Eating fast food made me want to eat it every day (and I allowed myself to think that I didn't have the time to prepare anything healthy). All the sugary sweets I ate didn't satisfy me, I needed more and more. I ate mindlessly, not hungry at the least, just eating because the food was there. I kept putting off a day to start my diet, reasoning that I couldn't start while there was left over pizza in the fridge, or chocolate in the cupboard. Then one day I realised if I didn't stop eating the way I was I'd have that much more to lose. There was no epiphany. No defining moment. I just started counting points again. But this time I cut out all fast food, all sweets (except for sugar in my tea). For that whole week I ate fat free Greek fruit yoghurt as my dessert after dinner or fruit. I lost 2kg in the first week and that motivated me to keep going. Having cut out the sweets and fast food cut out my cravings for them too, but no other food group was out of bounds for me to eat, I ate bread, carbs, etc. I slowly introduced the sweets back into my diet, so that I now (three months on) have a sweet treat in the evenings after dinner. I take note of things that can trigger a binge and avoid that food. The fast food, well, I haven't reintroduced that, Subway I did and it sparked a binge. What I do instead is choose an alternative to fast food, I'll have maybe a frozen pizza sub or a piece of full fat lasagne (pertained to fit into my points), with lots of veggies. I've come to realise there are just some foods that I may never be able to reintroduce.
Sorry for the long story. But, the gist is that you can break this cycle. You need to take the first step, research a plan that you think will work for you. Maybe try a fruit and veg detox to cut your cravings and allow you to start on a clean slate. Good luck!
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