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Old 09-29-2013, 10:56 AM   #12
Mazzy
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 146

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Thanks everyone. I appreciate all of your input! I know this seemed like over thinking, but in an effort to keep my compulsive eating at bay, I felt it was necessary to be aware of the moment and what I was feeling, so that I could learn a lesson and not be stuck in similar moments down the road.

I thought about it and decided that I feel very safe/not threatened by cars during my walks and am very conscious about when a car is coming (I can hear them long before they can see me, so I know to get out of the way, even when they are speeding). I feel that changing anything about my appearance is overkill and just feeding into the fear/paranoia. I'm 38 years old, know what to wear or not wear, and am very conscious of what drivers can see or not see, as I'm the first one to point out to my family how twilight can blind drivers and that it's never prudent to walk in the dark. I'm not comfortable walking at those times, so I try not to. During the walk yesterday, it was broad daylight, this man started slowing down about 1/8th mile away from me, and had sufficient time to pull over and roll down his window. He clearly saw me yesterday, so I concluded that he was referencing some other time.

I'm sure that this man was startled at some point by someone (since no one on this road wears reflective clothing, including many of the male joggers) and was just taking the opportunity to address me since he can't address anyone else. Would he have pulled over and said the same thing to a man? I am doubtful that he would think a man "needs" the advice, and also doubtful that a man would be as kind as I was, especially if he were called "sweetheart." I understand his message and can look past the tone. His message being that it would be prudent to wear light clothing was heard. Like I said, would a man not know this? Why would a woman (particularly a mother) not know this?

However, his fear is his, not mine. In fact, I'm more fearful of strange men pulling over and taking advantage of me than of getting hit on a road I've walked down thousands of times for many, many years in just the same kind of clothing I've always worn.

I feel comfortable in my decision and happy to know why I was worried about this in the first place. The fact that someone felt they could control my actions, and my automatic response to feeling like I "have" to do as they say or else suffer the consequences one way or another. There are consequences to not changing my behavior, but what are they: get hit by a car or suffer his anger? It was the latter that worried me.
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