[villazon110]

Im Ellie ,
I always battled with my weight ever since i remember being 150 lbs at 5 foot 4 then i fell into anorexic
2 years back I used to be a recovered anorexic ,i went from being under 80lbs to being 110lbs , at 110 i was considered healthy as i do not have a large frame i felt so confident and never cried about my figure , but then i started having binge problems , i spiraled up to 140 pounds, so far i have lost 10 pounds but im really struggling to lose 20 pounds , i am planning to go to the gym 5 times a week and follow a 1200 calorie diet ? any advice on how to follow this plan, what foods to eat and which ones not to ..i need to get to 110 as fast as possible without killing myself and as for the binging how to take care of it.I am sick of my weight and binging controlling my life and keeping me indoors as i am too depressed to go out sometimes. Please help.

[TamTam]

Do you know if there are any TOPS clubs where you live? They are a wonderful support group. I would say follow an exchange diet plan. I am diabetic so I have to follow my diet which is an exchange plan for me designed by a dietician. I think it may be a good idea for you to have a meeting with a dietician and have him or her come up with a plan for you, they can give you lots of wonderful information, give you the list of foods you should have and those to have in moderation. Good luck and God Bless. Tammy

[blog]

Originally Posted by villazon110

Im Ellie ,
I always battled with my weight ever since i remember being 150 lbs at 5 foot 4 then i fell into anorexic
2 years back I used to be a recovered anorexic ,i went from being under 80lbs to being 110lbs , at 110 i was considered healthy as i do not have a large frame i felt so confident and never cried about my figure , but then i started having binge problems , i spiraled up to 140 pounds, so far i have lost 10 pounds but im really struggling to lose 20 pounds , i am planning to go to the gym 5 times a week and follow a 1200 calorie diet ? any advice on how to follow this plan, what foods to eat and which ones not to ..i need to get to 110 as fast as possible without killing myself and as for the binging how to take care of it.I am sick of my weight and binging controlling my life and keeping me indoors as i am too depressed to go out sometimes. Please help.

Look, this post is old, but someday, someone might look at it in the same crisis and need an answer. I hope Ellie has found some healthy answers already, because the feelings you express here can't be comfortable.

Quick answer is that no, 1200 calories a day and working out 5 days a week is not going to be a solution for you. I can't comment on whether this would be a healthy game plan for your body. Chances are that it isn't. Most people need closer to 2000 calories a day to be properly nourished, especially with all that exercise.

We who are recovering from eating disorders can't follow dieting advice for regular people. I am a binge eater and a person who has struggled with anorexic-type issues. The eating disorder has to come first. Nothing you do in the area of diet and exercise will have any long-term benefit unless you are able to address the disorder behind your eating patterns and the way you view your body.

It can get better. It really can. I've spent years chipping away at my eating disorder. And the good news is that I've finally found a measure of peace. I don't binge anymore. I don't worry about every little bite that comes into my mouth. I don't plan diets one day and give up the next. I don't stuff my feelings by eating so much I hurt. When my stomach hurts from eating too much these days, I just stop eating. A freaking miracle! I still have moments of body dismorphia, where I look in the mirror and I see a grossly distorted image of myself, but I'm able to just say, "hum, that was really dismorphic." and let it go.

The first step is recognizing that this is a real problem. Its not going to go away on its own. These things only get worse if you don't treat them. No diet is ever going to change it. A raw fast, paleo, weight watchers, all of it... you will just get worse if you rely on more diets to change your eating disorder.

This is a progressive disorder. That means that its normal for it to get worse over time. I used to be able to soothe my eating disorder with intuitive eating. I can't do that anymore. Its progressed.

The good news is that we can treat this. We can make it better. You have to step down from the diet merry-go-round first. You can't do that anymore.

OA is one thing that may help you. Not every OA group is going to be able to help a person with this kind of eating disorder because many OA groups don't recognize that overly restrictive eating is also a sign of eating disorder. But if you find a group that can help you get off that merry-go-round, its a wonderful thing. If you don't have a local group that fits your needs, you will likely be able to find one online. Online groups are especially helpful in situations where you are also able to get to a therapist or face-to-face group in addition to the online group. You need the power that come from looking into another person's eyes when they speak.

There are other treatments out there. Counseling. Other addiction models, etc... But my advice, for what its worth, is to steer clear of the ones who put normalizing your weight first. A good treatment protocol helps get the depression and binging soothed before challenging your body to lose weight. Trust me, the weight will actually stay off if you are patient enough to do this. Its so much better than binging it all back on a few weeks or days or hours after you finish your diet.

[Mrs Snark]

Great post, Blog, great information!

[swtgila]

very helpful post blog!

[Mazzy]

Blog, finally someone who really gets it.

This, being the most important part: "My advice, for what its worth, is to steer clear of the ones who put normalizing your weight first."

We all moan about our weight, but what really matters MOST is our self-worth. Without it, no amount of beauty will make any difference.

[swtgila]

That is really good advice.

[patns]

Good advice blog from one who has been there. Especially since the OPs weight is well within a normal healthy range, there is more going on here than weight loss.

[vintagecat]

Heaping more praise on blog's post....

I had to let it all go (dieting) to deal with the bingeing first. There is no diet on the planet that will cure that ill unfortunately. No self control is strong enough to deal with an advanced case of binge eating disorder either. I had to get at what was eating at me first to untangle the twisted web of food and love.

I'm fatter than I'd like to be as a result and I waited perhaps a year longer than necessary in stasis to engage but now that my emotional state is disconnected from food and eating, it's not the struggle that it used to be adopting and following through with better habits.

The weight will come off slower for me and I'm okay with that. I'm not restricting, counting or anything like that. I'm simply eating a better quality of fresh, whole and balanced foods for the preponderance of my diet, exercising more and eating when I'm actually hungry (which used to scare me, those feelings of hunger) and stopping when I'm full or have had a reasonable portion, which ever comes first.

FWIW, I really do understand. I too have a really dysmorphic view of myself. I had it on the way up in denial and I'll likely have it for a while longer until I can adjust my critical eye. I rely on my husband for feedback. I asked him while watching The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel if I was roughly the size of Judi Dench's character because I am shaped (and dress) very much like that and he said yes almost exactly. I can live with that for now.

This ED thing is not easy. It masquerades as weight issues but it's not. It's insidious and life sucking unless you attack it at it's source. I wish you and others dealing with EDs the very best.