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Old 07-03-2013, 06:41 PM   #15
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: PNW
Posts: 910

S/C/G: 160+/142/~135 and healthy

Height: 5'6.5"


Freebird3: I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this. As if moving across the country isn't enough on its own.

It seems to me that there are several (related) issues here.

One, you moved from a place where you were enjoying your life all the way across the country to live near your family, due to their "emotional neediness". I get that, I really do - my mom is emotionally...fragile, let's say. What has it cost you besides inconvenience - friends? A job? I think the fact that your move was basically a sacrifice to your parents' comfort/happiness, makes their current behavior toward you even more difficult to understand and to tolerate.

Next, the weight issue itself, and your parents' attitude about it. I certainly think that your move out to your own place will accomplish a lot. But, you will presumably still be spending a fair amount of time with your parents. What do you think will improve the situation, apart from the move out? Do you think that they will only be appeased by substantial weight loss on your part? What if that is not enough - do you have to lose 30 lbs and ALSO get engaged to please them? It's a slippery slope. Be sure that you are not allowing their needs and wants for you to hijack your own.

The weight loss plan: I don't know the first thing about IP weight loss, but the collective hivemind of 3FC surely does. Find the support that you need, and are not getting from your family: online, IRL, whatever it takes.

The marriage issue: OK, I'm 38 years old and after a long-term relationship ended in 2007, I was happily happily single for a while. I barely dated at all, I was in a good place emotionally as a singleton and I knew it. About 18 months ago, I met a wonderful man and now we're planning a wedding. Give it the time it needs. Good things do happen, when we allow them to happen and when they're meant to happen. Not when our parents want them to happen.
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