[freelancemomma]

When I meet new people who never knew me at my starting weight of 195 lbs (let alone my lifetime high of 210 lbs), I sometimes get flattering comments like, "You have a dancer's body," "Must be nice to be so long and lean," and just yesterday, "You have an ectomorphic frame, so you probably don't need to worry about what you eat." (With my football-player shoulders and wide hips, I'm definitely NOT an ectomorph.)

While I sometimes mention that I used to be a lot heavier, I'm often inclined to let the comment pass to preserve the compliment-giver's illusion that I come by my current figure naturally. It feels like I'm secretly trying to boast about having a innate ability, like perfect pitch, rather than taking pride in my hard work. Seems a little weird to me. Has anyone else felt the same impulse?

F.

[nelie]

I think there is this weirdness that does exist when people who didn't know at your heaviest and those that did. Most people I know didn't know me at my heaviest but many know when I was at a higher weight. Even with the most amount of weight I lost, I was still overweight but I would still get comments once in a while from heavier people saying I don't know what it is like to be as heavy as them....

I think it really depends on the conversation and the person. If it is someone you want to talk to about weight loss and think it may actually help them, then I'd talk about it.

[curlyfroyo]

At my lowest I would get compliments like that but I would tell them bc i took pride in the fact that I had (at the time lost about 70 lbs in a lil over a yr). I also was working my butt off for it (working out 2 times a day/7 days a week, resisting foods).

But I do admit I did not tell guys that until we were close friends bc guys always had this "ew" reaction to the fact that I was always very big and once they had that reaction no matter how cute, how nice, or how much i thought i liked him I would stop communicating with them IMMEDIATELY (to this day they probably dont know what they did wrong). They became disgusting to me for having that reaction.

[GlamourGirl827]

I kind of felt this way with guys, and I'm married so I don't mean relationship. I mean when I got almost to goal, and was running, it was weird to see an attractive body in the mirror. Sometimes when I would go out to like the grocery store or stop in a convienence store on the way home (especially after a run and I was in workout clothes, which, yes were tight) random guys would talk to me in line or the isles, and sadly enough I noticed more men held the door. I hated it. If it wouldn't have been weird of me, I would ahve loved to have just said to them, "yeah I used to me 220 lbs, in fact I've spent most of my life being about 30 lbs over weight."

I didn't like the illusion that I had somehow always looked athletic. Its like I always wanted people to know that the real me was and will always be fat (at least on the inside) well, now I regained my weight from baby #3 but even after I lose it.

[bargoo]

I get those comment, too from people who never knew me at my heaviest. You may have heard them, too"Of course you never have to worry about your weight", Hah ! The most recent happened when I was getting a haitcut , the stylist mentioned that she had joined a gym and was dieting, that opened the conversation in which I mentioned that I used to be much heavier. She said " I would never have guessed that you had ever had a weight problem".

[luckymommy]

Whenever I'm at goal or close to it, I get tons of attention (part of me enjoys it and part of me really dislikes it a lot) because I'm constantly either losing or gaining and have never been able to maintain. The only time I've ever gotten these types of comments are from strangers but usually it's not comments...usually it's attention from men. It's flattering and my fat girl brain craves the comments/attention as an ego boost so I kind of revel in it and yet I'm incredibly shy (which people find hard to believe anyway) so I usually end up coming off as aloof only because my responses are so minimal. I'm not sure if any of this is making sense. Mainly, I'm trying to say that I don't really thwart the comments by telling people who think I"m naturally thin that I used to be fat because I'm secretly enjoying them and also I"m too shy to get into a conversation about it. Well, now nobody's making those comments because I'm overweight but I'm looking forward to having this problem again soon!

[crimsons]

I know exactly what you mean; most of my life I was around 105, and people were constantly making "naturally thin" comments. The only time my efforts and discipline were noted were when I got "you're anorexic" comments regarding the healthy meal I was chowing on. Oh yeah, steamed chicken and veg is *very unhealthy* but getting Type 2 diabetes IS? Arrrrgh.

I'm already getting stupid comments as my crowd knows I'm committed to losing weight (this bunch never saw me at my usual weight, I've moved recently). I've managed to dress to camouflage my giant belly and boobs as I have skinny limbs. One of the friends is a shrink, and I could just see her processing "eating disorder" when I proudly announced hitting my first WW goal of losing 5% of my body weight. Guess I'll keep that to myself in the future!! She's also the petite queen bee of this social group, so there you go, no mystery there. On the other hand my MD is horrified at my weight, and he's seen the unclothed horror of the blubber lol. He's behind me all the way!

I'm having steady success by following Dr. Fuhrman's "Eat To Live" program, while inserting that, and me, into Weight Watchers. The recipes are absolutely delicious, keep me full, and have completely erased craving for "happy hour" style food and drink. I actually went with the friends to happy hour yesterday and shock of shocks, didn't want anything. I just sat there and chatted.

I'm quite excited to get re-acquainted with my old clothes! On the other hand, I have frustrating conversations with my elderly mom, who is 4'6, 85 lbs, and desperately trying to gain weight.

Once you're at your goal as you are, and congrats (!!!) maybe it's better to just "unplug" or ignore the comments and think of yourself as this being your natural weight? 'Cause now it is! I've found that it's stressful and a waste of time to talk about the work and conscious eating that goes into your accomplishment. Their comments are more about them wanting an excuse for not being healthier...and have little to do with you. Let 'em drool with envy!!!