Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss Including discussions about excess skin and reconstructive surgery

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Old 05-17-2013, 01:20 AM   #1  
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Unhappy Turning your self into a new person

Sometimes I feel like its just my lot in life to stay fat, ever since gr.7, i'v gained 20 pounds every year and HATED my body. I think I'v gotten so used to everyone's hurtful comments that I'v started to believe them. How do you answer back to someone who asks "why are you so fat, I mean what do you eat to get that fat". I blame my parents for my childhood obesity 100% which lead to body issues at such an early age, at 8 I shouldn't have been worried about dieting and not looking fat. My mom is sort of paying for it now (literally) by taking me to dr.Bernstien $160/ week

Last year I decided that I was going to completely turn my self into a new person (I'v changed my name already), and leave my old self behind. Every now and then I acquire self hatred and dissatisfaction with my life when I think about how long of a journey I have to take to be "normal".

How do people manage to stay so motivated over a long period of time and STICK to their diet. I know alot of people are emotional eaters, if you are one, you know how much food makes you feel better, it sort of wipes tears away, how do people, especially women combat that.
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Old 05-19-2013, 09:46 PM   #2  
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Hi, yes it is COMBAT when it comes to emotional eating! And the more carbs eat the more I want. I'm working my way to reasons for the unhappiness that is causing me to overeat. I'm attempting to find joy in the small things and take each week DAY BY DAY. This is all I can say - I hope it helps you to know there is someone else feeling your pain.
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Old 05-19-2013, 10:09 PM   #3  
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Sometimes I feel like its just my lot in life to stay fat, ever since gr.7, i'v gained 20 pounds every year and HATED my body. I think I'v gotten so used to everyone's hurtful comments that I'v started to believe them. How do you answer back to someone who asks "why are you so fat, I mean what do you eat to get that fat". I blame my parents for my childhood obesity 100% which lead to body issues at such an early age, at 8 I shouldn't have been worried about dieting and not looking fat. My mom is sort of paying for it now (literally) by taking me to dr.Bernstien $160/ week

Last year I decided that I was going to completely turn my self into a new person (I'v changed my name already), and leave my old self behind. Every now and then I acquire self hatred and dissatisfaction with my life when I think about how long of a journey I have to take to be "normal".

How do people manage to stay so motivated over a long period of time and STICK to their diet. I know alot of people are emotional eaters, if you are one, you know how much food makes you feel better, it sort of wipes tears away, how do people, especially women combat that.
Its hard. I'm not even done losing, and its difficult. I know that maintenance will be even harder. I guess you just have to take it one day at a time. If you have a bad day, get back on track the next day. Just don't let a bad day turn into falling off the wagon completely.
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Old 05-20-2013, 02:49 AM   #4  
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I had to decide to walk away from food that wasn't helping me be the real me. Foods that make me sick, keep me fat, help me wallow in self-pity, I had to get rid of them. Sometimes I fall back and have them once in a while, but they never taste as good as I recall. EVER.

We are not powerless over the food. We are just one decision away from succeeding, every day, with every meal. Choosing to feel comforted by food, many people, even thin people, do that. They just do it a lot less than others do. If you were raised not learning how to find other sources of comfort, or power, then you're at a disadvantage. I have struggled with that. I learned that I used feeling self-pity and powerlessness as something I could hide behind. It was my excuse to not try so hard. And climbing out of using food for comfort is really hard. I don't have to stop self-comforting with food for forever. I just have to do it the next time it comes up. Just one battle/decisive moment at a time.

I also had to find something to replace it with, something that was truly effective. For me, it is the practice of Pilates. I love it! I love it so much more than food now. When I do Pilates once a day, the positive effects last for 24 to 48 hours. Usually, my last Pilates class of the week is on Friday morning, and the next one is on Monday afternoon. And between noon on Sunday and Monday's class, there are times when I am white-knuckling it through the day. It took me a while to figure this out, so I just recently started doing yoga on the weekends, and it is definitely helping. Keeps good endorphins floating around my system and I don't feel so sluggish, tired and edgy all the time.

I am worth treating myself with enough respect to help myself feel good with exercise and to feed my body really good food. I am worthy of spending the rest of my life feeling great, healthy and having a wonderful experience. And you are too! You really are! You are making good progress to redefine yourself in your own terms. Part of that journey is accepting that you were a different person, and that motivated you to become the person you want to be. Honor your past. I know it's difficult. I struggle with that as well. I get angry over all the time I WASTED on the people from my past that seemed to need me to remain fat. I have walked away from nearly all of them.

I steer clear from the haters, as much as possible. I know that what is coming out of their mouths is all about them, not me. It's about them being narrow-minded, judgemental, and a real drag to be around. And I don't care to hear the negativity any more. I've surrounded myself with positive, uplifting people. All I hear is love! Sometimes, when I am forced to interact with the haters, on occasion the negativity gets to me, but not for long. Really, they have nothing to say that I need to hear.

I think getting older helps with all of that. I heard Craig Fergusson (Late Late Show) the other night talking about how getting older is so Punk Rock, not really giving a rat's behind what anyone thinks. It truly is!!!

Last edited by geoblewis; 05-20-2013 at 03:01 AM.
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Old 05-20-2013, 02:16 PM   #5  
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I had to decide to walk away from food that wasn't helping me be the real me. Foods that make me sick, keep me fat, help me wallow in self-pity, I had to get rid of them. Sometimes I fall back and have them once in a while, but they never taste as good as I recall. EVER.
I literally just had a conversation with myself the other day about this. I had a great raw vegan meal that made me feel amazing. I said aloud, okay WHY would I not just eat this stuff all the time and NOT eat the crap? Why? It makes absolutely no sense!

I also read somewhere on here (I think it was a "how do you keep your motivation" thread) that one member said EVERY SINGLE DAY she recommits to her weight loss. I thought that was a great idea, because you are setting your intention for the day every single day.
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