Crappiest i've ever felt. Ever. - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

RookaWins · 05-03-2013, 09:59 PM

Me and my new husband were about to go have a fun night, have a small amount of frozen yogurt, and relax on a friday night. I try to get dolled up and find something to wear, cuz i'm feeling really good and i want to look nice for him. But no, I had to get pouty, and have this all hit me like a freight train.
The only clothes that fit, are these skirts that i've been wearing for the past four years, because they're elastic waisted and fit with various waist sizes. They're the ONLY thing that fits. Even some work pants i got a month ago (that were snug to begin with) are at MAX capacity. I can barely sit in my freaking car, people.
I've gained 30lbs, and 3" around my waist, hips, and stomach.
I couldn't just have the first few months of blissful marriage, to enjoy food, enjoy life with my husband.
No. because i couldn't have high school to eat without a care in the world, and enjoy myself.
Every freaking time i get really happy, i gain weight.
We're too broke to buy ****ing new clothes for me. And i reallly don't want to anyway. Because the size that fits, quite frankly, i don't want to have to buy again. I swore i would never buy that size again.
I swore i'd never hit 200lbs again, unless i was pregnant.
No baby here, but i could hide one under all this.
I feel trapped in my body.
I've been trying to move more, and actually watch what i eat, but it doesnt help that every day at my new job, i have to squeeze into my pants, and sit uncomfortably in my car. (On top of that, no one has had the ability to train me at the job, so i am literally getting paid to stand behind people working their butts off, helpless. Like a fat idiot.)
I was already having problems accepting my body shape when i was at 170, but i've realized that i kind of like my high hips. They would look just like the 70's wonder woman actress if i got slim and fit. My figure proportions, point to an hourglass figure!! i mean come on! Isn't that what every girl wants? small waist, big sexy hips and a decent, proportionate chest?? I could have that! but i decided to wait a while, and enjoy being married, and cook delicious fatty foods for my husband and friends, because he deserves it.
I know he loves me, and he supports me. But i talk his ear off with weight loss. He doesn't know how to help anymore, and i don't blame him. It's both our faults, and we're both trying to fix it.
But i realized that all too late. I decided to change only after i couldn't squeeze into my work pants, and after my pair of jeans that used to be extremely LOOSE on me, no longer fit.

What really sucks about all this?
If i had money to maybe break down and buy bigger clothes, i'd be alright. I'd see that as motivation, and be ok, and continue to improve. But i don't have that option. I have to try and fix this all while being stuffed into my clothes.

RookaWins · 05-03-2013, 10:14 PM

:c

rubidoux · 05-03-2013, 10:26 PM

First of all, I think you should run out to the thrift store tomorrow. I went thrift store shopping today for the first time in ages and had a blast. I spent about $25 dollars on clothes for me (another 25 for my kids) and bought enough stuff to fill my washing machine. I got two dresses and something like 6 tops.

Then, I think you have to put things in perspective a little. I understand that you're heavier than you want to be and I think it makes sense that you feel frustrated and bad about it (bc every woman in this society does, no matter what her weight is). A I do get that that really sucks. BUT you're fairly normal weighted. If you're 195 and 5'8" your bmi is only 29. BMI is a pretty crappy tool, imo, but from what I've seen, people at that BMI still look pretty good. And it sounds like you have a nice shape, so you may even look good for your BMI, iykwim. And you know how to take it off. You've done it before.

I think you really don't *need* to be feeling this bad.

RookaWins · 05-03-2013, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rubidoux

First of all, I think you should run out to the thrift store tomorrow. I went thrift store shopping today for the first time in ages and had a blast. I spent about $25 dollars on clothes for me (another 25 for my kids) and bought enough stuff to fill my washing machine. I got two dresses and something like 6 tops.

Then, I think you have to put things in perspective a little. I understand that you're heavier than you want to be and I think it makes sense that you feel frustrated and bad about it (bc every woman in this society does, no matter what her weight is). A I do get that that really sucks. BUT you're fairly normal weighted. If you're 195 and 5'8" your bmi is only 29. BMI is a pretty crappy tool, imo, but from what I've seen, people at that BMI still look pretty good. And it sounds like you have a nice shape, so you may even look good for your BMI, iykwim. And you know how to take it off. You've done it before.

I think you really don't *need* to be feeling this bad.

thank kinda helps.. i've been in a funk all day and this just didn't help. but you're right.. and i'm trying to forget about it.

Missy Krissy · 05-03-2013, 11:34 PM

I agree, you need to hit up the thrift store. That's seriously the only place I buy clothes now because A) I'm broke and B) I need clothes that fit while I'm losing weight and I'm not willing to invest in "new" clothes until I hit goal. Everyone feels better when they're wearing clothing that fits.

I'm glad you posted here, it's a start to feeling better and making changes. One thing that kind of rubbed me wrong was when you said that your husband "deserves" fatty food. That kind of thinking is a little backwards, IMHO. Your husband "deserves" flavorful and nutritious foods that will keep him around longer, and so do you!

Preparing and eating "healthy" food can be an enjoyable experience, food doesn't need to be fatty or low in nutrients to taste good.

Anyway, good luck, and feel better!

ShaMac · 05-03-2013, 11:37 PM

Rooka, I completely understand your frustration. I sometimes wonder why I can't take a break from eating healthy without gaining weight every single day I'm not counting calories? It really sucks. I decided to make other than healthy choices two days last week and so far gained 2 lbs because of it. Although at this time I'm back on plan but have not been able to go to the gym I can just imagine how many more lbs I have gained since my last weigh in. I hate this game

but I do intend to win. Every time you fall off the wagon you just gotta dust yourself off and go at it again and again. Good luck to you on your journey!

Lecomtes · 05-04-2013, 12:20 AM

I'm so sorry you had a crappy evening. Sometimes I have a day like this, actually, I have a lot of flustered moments.

You aren't alone, at my size I have filled and overflowed many a pair of pants...and it downright sucks! Especially when you don't have money to get more. Don't let it get you down though, it only need be a temporary difficulty...believe in yourself, you'll be fitting into those clothes again soon! HUGS!

Moving Forward · 05-04-2013, 12:43 AM

I'm sorry to hear how down you've been feeling today. I agree with the recommendation to dust yourself off and get yourself to the thrift store. Even though this is a real downer, it can also be an opportunity for you. This is the exact type of situation I found myself in when I decided it was time for me to start my journey. I'm so glad I did! My whole family is eating better and both me and my hubby are leaner now. In the beginning, when I was so uncomfortable, I repeatedly reminded myself to stay optimistic because things were headed in the right direction now and were only going to get better. What a difference some well fitting clothes and a new outlook will make for you too!

celigirl88 · 05-06-2013, 10:53 AM

I'm sorry you had a crappy evening. I know this is a late response but it will be ok. You should use this as motivation. When people get into new relationships (or in your case a marriage) they tend to be carefree because they are in love and busy worrying about other things. Weight loss takes time. It's taken me 6 years almost to FINALLY take it seriously. It hasn't been easy, and if it was everybody would be doing it. You need to take one day at a time. Start parking farther in parking lots and walking farther to the store, when you go shopping for food and want to indulge in something, pick up healthier choices you can use instead of the unhealthy choices. I definitely agree with the "thrift shop" idea. I LOVE going consignment shopping. I have some of the best work clothes from places like that and I paid MAYBE $50 total for 5 full outfits. When you have great fitting clothes, it's crazy how confident you will feel. Don't get discouraged. Starting out is the first step and you will get there! Keep your head up.

dstalksalot · 05-06-2013, 12:25 PM

Sorry things have been hard. I agree with the posts recommending a trip to the thrift store. Getting a few basics will help with your confidence at home and work. You owe it to your self, your husband and your boss to look and feel fabulous!! Clothes that fit translate into confidence.

As the other posts mentioned. You and your husband DESERVE good and healthy food, not junk. Go on line and find some awesome and healthy recipes and make some healthy changes you can sustain.
Good luck to you!