I constantly feel like I can get better, but I thought that writing a positive post would lift my spirits.
I'm very happy because I've lost 30 lbs since my six weeks PP checkup since having my son. 200 lbs to 170 ish lbs. I'm proud because I'm 10 lbs lower than my pre-pregnancy weight and I didn't think I could do it.
I've lost weight in part to breastfeeding. I can eat 2000 calories a day and still lose 1 lb a week, which is fine by me! I exercise about 30 minutes most days, but I really throw myself into that 30 mintues; I don't just do halfhearted bicep curls and crunches. I like to do jumping jacks, burpees, plank moves. I don't have weights so I rely on my body weight mostly. I'm very proud that I can do these things as they were very hard to do at 200 lbs.
Things I've noticed that help me:
-"maintenence" breaks for a week if I need it - basically, when I get so stressed by school, my job and my baby, it's easier to just maintain until I feel I can focus on weight loss again. I find I still lose something due to nursing, but I don't get stressed
-taking pictures to see progress, also measurments. My waist has gone from 38 1/2 to 34".
-Since having my son, it's easier to tone my lower body than my upper body *shrug* I don't mind, it's just different
-I'm getting more male attention now and I don't like it. I was happy being fat and pregnant because it meant no male attention.
-I also hate people telling me I've lost weight. I feel so much pressure to keep it up.
-Some days I can tell a difference, other days I see the 200 lb me. It's confusing, but I try to take it day by day and not get down about it.
I just wanted to say I used to struggle with anorexia in high school and went to a mental hospital 3 years ago. I gained weight really fast when I started to eat properly and though I freaked out about it, I needed it, almost. I learned that I am the same person whether I am too thin, overweight, pregnant or whatever. Everyday, I still struggled with not falling back into eating disorder patterns, but each day, I am getting better at resisting those patterns. My son is really motivating to be healthy physically and emotionally. I want him to have a mother who respects herself.
So yeah, sorry this was long. But I am proud of myself. I'd like to be in the middle of my "healthy weight" on the BMI scale eventually, but I wanted to share my progress. I hope my musings helps someone out there.
Have a great day.