Quote:
Originally Posted by PreciousMissy
I noticed as your waistline shrunk your smile grew! What an amazing change you've made!
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Yeah- the essay I need to write for the challenge deals a lot with the emotional wellness I found in the last 60 days.
This is what I have so far:
Perhaps I should have joined the More to Lose + Health Category when I signed up for this challenge in January, but I was in denial. As a new bride, married for only three months, denial was easier to swallow then admitting to myself that I wasn’t the wife I always envisioned I would be. Tears slipped down my cheeks as I uploaded my before pictures. I literally thought to myself, “Gosh. I really hope I don’t win, because I don’t want anyone to see these pictures.” I was heartbroken and disappointed in myself. And I wondered how my new husband could even love the body of the woman in front of me on the computer screen.
Where was the confidence and excitement I had read about in everyone else’s success stories? Was it just me? Was I the only one absolutely terrified to start the t-tapp challenge?
The year leading up to our wedding was a difficult one. In the beginning of 2012, I got into a car accident involving a semi-truck and totaled my vehicle. I was left in pain and x-rays revealed that my neck and spine were no longer properly aligned. A few months later, I was diagnosed with crohn’s disease after having a colonoscopy at the age of 28 years old. In addition, as our wedding approached, I became apprehensive about my ability to conceive after having an ovarian tumor removed a few years prior that left me with imbalanced hormones and carrying 75+ extra pounds. The weight gain was sudden, causing many stretch marks and knee pain.
I felt broken. Physically and emotionally broken. It’s painful for me to even tell you this now, but I felt that my husband deserved a better wife- and my future children (fingers crossed), deserve a healthier mother. I started the t-tapp challenge scared, insecure and weighing over 230 pounds. In the middle of my first workout- I thought to myself again, “Gosh. I really hope I don’t win, because I’m not sure I can do this. I don’t want to meet Teresa and embarrass myself.” It’s not that the workout was unbearable, but my muscles got fatigued so quickly. I ran out of breath and I was ashamed that I could not keep up and I was not even 30 years old!
And then I came across a quote from Neale Donald Walsch that said, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” So I quieted my fears the best I could and set out on the journey to t-tapp my inches away. The days passed and my hoe-downs started to become more recognizable. (I am pretty sure that for a few weeks it just looked like I was flailing around.) Then something remarkable began to happen- not only did I start to lose inches, but I started to t-tapp away my fears and insecurities. I began looking forward to my 15 minute t-tapping time and soon realized, “YES! I CAN!”
And more importantly, I realized that I deserved this journey. I was worthy of loving myself. As I began finding emotional wellness, I began to experience physical wellness too! My knees and back stopped hurting and I haven’t had any gastrointestinal distress for over a month!
3FC Notes: I'm sure that my new lifestyle of not eating processed or packaged foods sure helped with this too! LOL. My new lifestyle, which includes daily check-ins with 3FC has helped me come this far in 60 days.
On 1/20:
Weight: 230
BMI: 37.4
Fat Percentage: 47.3%
On 3/20:
Weight: 214.6
BMI: 34.6
Fat: 44.5%
Why Hello Future Me...
