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Old 02-20-2013, 08:39 AM   #188
on the wagon
onebyone's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,762

S/C/G: 291/265/150

Height: 5' 6"

Lightbulb the wonder of self-expression

To My Brilliant Coaches

*credit* for being who you are. Thank you.

After a full day of getting everything out I woke up renewed this morning, and this inspite of both of my cats hassling me from 5am on.

After getting the gunk out I could once again see where I had gone off the rails--and this is a realization that's taken a while to re-learn. When I was actively losing weight, I simply *trusted* that the WW Scientists had done all the work in figuring out a foodplan and a system and a means to implement such into my daily life in ways that work. WHEN I FOLLOWED IT it worked. I did not fight it. I followed it. I have been ignoring its parameters: I eat large portions and I eat too much food. I don't plan ahead except vaguely as in I'm going to cook _____ today/tomorrow/on the weekend. I am waaaaaaayyyyy more focused on the eating and the food than the eating and the weightloss. Basically, these days it's down to I'm more focused on the EATING. Period. I forget about the weightloss part every day until my jeans are tight, the scale jumps up, DH looks slimmer whatever the trigger. And, the worst of this is a loooooooonnnnnngggggg history with overeating to solve problems of any kind and a loooooonnnnnnnggggg history of overeating to hide from problems and from people.

So, since everyone gets infinite do-overs I'm taking mine.

I *credit* got on the scale and saw (-3.3lbs) to 256.4. The travel weight is gone. Today I commit to tracking my food and to getting to the studio to further express myself.
*credit(s) moi* for posting yesterday while in the midst of crisis and for coming back today without embarrassment, just as a normal flawed imperfect human being.

Thanks so much for being here everyone. My days of abandoning this quest to lose weight while in a panic over a slip/a binge seem to be behind me. It's all due to to Beck. I give this program full credit for getting me on track every single time, and this ALWAYS gives me another chance to succeed a little bit more.

All the best to everyone reading this today.
Going to 150 5lbs at a time

Last edited by onebyone; 02-20-2013 at 08:42 AM.
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