[aliasihaya]

It's been awhile since I've been on this site. It's partially because at a certain point I felt I didn't need support, and then at a further certain point I wouldn't admit that I needed support. But over the past year I've lost around 40 lbs. I've been stagnant for the past 4 months. And emotionally I want nothing more to lose more. But I'm stuck in the place where I'm fighting myself to push myself forward.

But I think what ultimately sucks is that I constantly get compliments about how much weight that I've lost. 'Oh wow, how great you look'. 'Wow, you've really lost a lot of weight, how much have you lost?'. And the ultimate thing I hear in my head is 'oh my god you were so ****ing fat, i'm so glad you got past that. Keep it up. You're doing great'. I know that's not what they're really saying. But that's what I feel. But if I backslide and start gaining weight back? What will they think of me then? Will they ignore my gaze? Will they call me lazy? Will they make excuses for me?

So I'm struggling now between the desire to push forward and lose more because I'm still not at the idea weight vanity wise and health wise. And I'm struggling between that concept and just whether I'm fulfilling the requirement of being present. Obviously, I'd like for my presence to mean more, but it may take awhile to get there. Meanwhile, how can I move forward in my life and yet not get discouraged by how everyone else is perceiving the events outside of me?

[jennybee]

If you're struggling, it might be a good idea to just maintain for a little while. I know how hard it can be to truly accept compliments and not take them as criticism on how you looked before, but try not to let it get to you - your family and friends love you no matter what you weigh or once weighed! Try not to backslide (I did it and have more to lose now!) but if you do, it's not something you need to beat yourself up about. There is more to you than a number on a scale, and the people who love you know that!

Maybe try and dedicate some time to yourself, whether that's something like yoga/meditation, or pampering yourself, or whatnot. I always find that doing something that makes me appreciate my body for what it is really helps to overcome nasty thoughts about what other people might think.

Hope I've helped. Best of luck xx

[shcirerf]

Forget about everyone else, the only person that is important, is YOU!

Set your goals and go for it.

Some days will be good and people will be positive, some days, people will be poo heads.

I know. Been there done that.

This isn't about anyone else, this is about you/me. We deserve to be the best we can be.

Leave the naysayers in the dust!

Who really needs people, who do not want us to be the best we can be?

If you are not the best person you can be, you will not be able to give back, and be an inspiration to anyone else.

[HungryHungryHippo]

Forty is great!! Maintaining 40 off is even more great!! Congrats, whatever you decide to do!

[Robin41]

Well I firmly believe that every nice comment has the unspoken "thank god you finally got your act together" or the unspoken "holy cow you were fat" at the end of it. But so what? First, it's true and pretty hard to argue with, and secondly, all it does is make you realize that your goals are really yours alone and you can't control their thoughts or actions, you can only control your own.

So if you need to maintain for awhile to get your head back in the game, do it. If this is a situation where you feel you should just power through it, then do that. Regardless of the people around you, it really is all your choice.

[Mozzy]

How about working on improving your fitness level instead of concentrating on your weight for a bit? Maybe that will be the compromise you need to get your head "back in the game".
Good luck!

[hiddenstar]

Just to point out the opposite side. I have gone down 2 pant sizes, and have not gotten a single compliment or any one noticing it. I find it so depressing that no one else notices. So try to be happy with the compliments cuz i think the opposite is worse.

Either way both of us, need to go forward with what are own opinions are of ourselves. We are the best judge for are own body.