[bipolarfemme]

I am afraid of being judge but I have been dreaming of being super skinny since I was a little girl and never have been. I've been close (110) but not quite there. I want to be as skinny as my favorite super model Vlada Roslyakova (When she isn't photoshopped to look like she's dying-yes I know for a fact it's photoshop I looked it up.). I don't mind if your goal weight is a lot heigher then mine or whatever. I just need someone to keep me on track by asking me what I've eaten and how I did.

So anyone want to help me lose weight without judging me or trying to stop me? I am doing this the right way this time-last time my hair fell out and stuff because I starved :/

I just want to like myself.

[Arctic Mama]

If liking yourself is the goal, nothing you do to your appearance will get you there, sweetie. So long as your self image is screwed up nothing external will solve the issue - do the mental work first, otherwise it's a bit like polishing the outside of the cup while the inside remains dirty (foolish!).

This site does not support disordered eating except in terms of recovery. If you want help with that there is much to be had.

[nelie]

First of all, Welcome to 3FC.

Secondly, I'll say weight goals can be good but they can also be discouraging. When you aren't near your goal, it is good to just estimate and see what happens as you lose weight. I hope you realize that supermodels achieve unrealistic goals for the average person and may go on drastic diets before photo shoots.

Lastly, at 3FC, we support healthy, achievable weight loss. I will say that 97 lbs is not realistic for someone of your height and in setting such a goal, you are setting up yourself for failure. If you feel that you really should be 97 lbs, I'd encourage you to speak to your doctor but a good guideline for your height is about 117 to 143 lbs. Obviously a fairly large range but it depends on many factors including muscle mass, bone structure, etc.

[bipolarfemme]

My self image is not screwed up. You don't even know me. I know what I will look like-hip bones and a few ribs-I happen to think it's beautiful. Everyone has a right to find different things beautiful. Why is it mine is considered disordered?

[PaintedPonies]

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I think you have an eating disorder and self-esteem issues.
Being super skinny like a supermodel is neither attractive nor healthy. Is that really what you want? Do you think that you will ever find satisfaction in your low body weight? Don't you think it will become obsession and every pound you lose will make you more eager to lose the next?

[bipolarfemme]

I am not starving myself or anything. I eat 1500 a day. That is healthy.

[XLMuffnTop]

I don't think you're going to find many, if even one, on 3FC that would encourage that weight for your height. Let's round up to 5'7". At 97 pounds, you would be at a BMI of 15.2, well into the underweight category, assuming you're an adult. Not only is that weight difficult if not impossible to obtain in a healthy way, it would be seriously difficult to maintain, because it's just too low.

Happiness will not be found at any goal weight, especially one so low and, in my opinion, unhealthy.

[bipolarfemme]

I'll be fine. I learned my lesson last time.

[bargoo]

Why do you want to be underweight ? If you achieve your goal of 97 pounds you will be underweight.

[nelie]

Again, I encourage you to continue calorie counting but again, when you get closer to your goal, please discuss your goals with your doctor as you would be considered underweight by at least 20 lbs by the standard guidelines. You'd have to drop your calories drastically to get to that point.

[bipolarfemme]

I know being skinny will not make me truly happy. I am going to start therapy soon. Skinny is just always been a goal of mine.

[bipolarfemme]

Not true. It just takes a lot longer to lose weight-about less the a pound a week the healthy way.

[bipolarfemme]

I thought this website was for everyone. I guess I was wrong. Fine I'll find a different one. One for people aiming for goals like mine. Bye.

[PaintedPonies]

You're right, different people find different things beautiful.
In terms of body, I love the look of a thin waist with thick legs and large hips. That's my body type, and I'm happy with it (as soon as I shed a 20 or 30 lbs).
It's okay to want to have a thin body, if it's alright with your body, of course.
At 5'8, when I weighed 130 lbs, I was very skinny, yet still in a healthy weight range. You can be skinny too, but still in a healthy range.
What I realized, though, was that 130 was far too thin for my body. My body craved body fat, and because of it, my weight loss was ruined by binging.

I hop in therapy you can improve your self image
Attitude is always the key, good luck with everything!

[Arctic Mama]

Originally Posted by bipolarfemme

My self image is not screwed up. You don't even know me. I know what I will look like-hip bones and a few ribs-I happen to think it's beautiful. Everyone has a right to find different things beautiful. Why is it mine is considered disordered?

You're right, I don't know you. So I'm simply judging by what you wrote - even with an incredibly light frame your goal is severely underweight for your height.

You speak of attaining beauty and not liking yourself, and have your aim on a model ideal instead of what is real-life achievable for your body. If you are malnourished to the point of what you described in previous attempts and seeking it again, anyway, regardless of the physiological feedback you are being given, that is disordered thinking flat out.

Another big red flag is hitching your self satisfaction ("liking yourself") to your physical appearance. I've lived long enough and lost enough weight to know that if you don't love your body and soul at your high weight, adjusting your appearance isn't going to be some magic bullet that suddenly makes all things rosy and life get better. Lose weight if you want to, sure, but loving your body and dissociating your worth from your appearance must be done no matter WHAT your weight, if long term health and happiness are to be attained. Equating physical beauty with happiness is incredibly unwise - beauty fades, and then what happens?

You can get angry, but I speak the truth in love regarding this. Losing some weight may be a good idea, as would be working out and building muscle. But your aim is off and your end goal is unattainable by healthy means for all but a handful of humans built that way. Quite simply, you're looking in the wrong place if contentedness and joy are what you're after. All a diet will do is change your weight - not fix your self esteem or perceptions of your form.