[KateB]

Soooooo...........Yesterday was my required psych eval before bariatric surgery. UGHHHHH! I have seen other psycologist before. we started discussing my parents divorce (I was 17). And the issues surrounding it and the "fallout". In a nutshell, my dad basically abandon me to go live his new life. He "came out". Before he left he maxed out all te credit cards. He filed bankruptcy on his business. He left my mom with A LOT of bills. He also drained my college fund (roughly $20k). Also for the 5 years prior to the divorce he told me my mom didn't like me. she worked night shift, I went to school during the day and worked evenings and weekends so we never really spent much time together. He also told her that I did not like her.

I was devestated! I was angry with my dad and deressed. We didn't tak for several years. I became deeply depressed and YES I saw a counselor.

We worked through our issues and have a pretty good relationship now. I can't change what happened in the past. I do not dwell on it, but I haven't forgotten it.

So this Psycologist now says I have anger issues, and need to see someone to sort out my past. I REALLY don't have anger issues. Yeah when I think about all that was done it hurts, it probably always will. And quite honestly if he wants to know what anger issues are he shold have seen me 30 years ago. I am not opposed to seeing someone. I just don't think I have any more to sort out. My dad was not the father I deserved, he did some awful stuff to my mother. But all the counseling in world won't change what happened. He is who he is, I love him because he is my father, as a person I have little repsect for him. Life moves on.

Also this Psycologist began to talk down to me and treat as if I lacked intelligence, once he found out I did not complete college. I did not complete college because there was no money. NOT because I am STUPID! If I choose to talk to someone it can't be him....that would be futile! I think he's an idiot!

Sorry just had to vent! Oh how I hope this doesn't hold up my surgery!!

Thanks for the chance to vent!

[maezy1]

sounds like a real idiot! college degrees (and ye i have several) don't make someone smarter than another. I say this as I am watching the Big Bang Theory
I hope this dumb a** doesn't get in ur way!

[jiffypop]

YIKES KATE!!! RUN AWAY FROM THIS PSYCH JOB!!! and have a long talk with the surgeon about these issues - only to make him/her aware of them. It can take a long time and many attempts to find the right counselor for you. if you can't talk with the person and be honest, feel safe, and get some help, find someone else.

having said that, the hormone changes from the rapid weight loss, plus the fact that we lose our main coping mechanism can bring up a lot of emotional surprises. I don't want you to be caught off guard in case it happens. Be aware of what's happening with your emotions after the surgery, and be prepared to take some sort of action - and that can be anything from exercise to knitting to talking to a friend or reading a book or seeing a counselor.

you're OK. you've survived a lot, and you will get through this

[novangel]

Originally Posted by KateB

Also this Psycologist began to talk down to me and treat as if I lacked intelligence, once he found out I did not complete college.

Oh please...my arrogant college educated boss couldn't find his way out of a walk-in closet. College doesn't teach common sense if you don't have any. I loathe people like this.

[KateB]

I think that is what bothered me most, was being talked down to. there is nothing I hate worse! If I have to see a counselor that is fine...as long as it is NOT him.

I am just not sure what/how he expected me to react about issues of the past. When i talked about it my eyes got a bit misty, but I wasn't crying (not even misty enough to need a tissue) but it wasn't anger...it was a bit morel ike greif. The dad that I knew as a child, is no longer. I have had to build a new relationship with the person he has become. I really think that anything I said that did not make us sound like the the Anderson's (Father Knows Best) or the Douglas's (My Three Son's) he would have said I have "issues".

[joefla70]

IMO, I think you've come a long way in being able to have a relationship with your dad after all that he did in your past. Its hard to put myself in your shoes, but I don't think I could have done it. If you had the anger issues that the shrink thinks you have, I don't think you would be able to do it either. I don't know what more else the shrink wants you to do. But it doesn't surprise me that a psychologist's recommendation to you would be to have more counseling.