Step 1:
We admitted we were powerless over food — that our lives had become unmanageable.
I am a compulsive eater. I am admitting here that I am powerless over food. My life, in some ways, has become unmanageable. I have made some decisions to change things though.
I have recently quit drinking, smoking pot, and now I am focusing on not binge eating.
Last night, I ate everything in sight after calling it a "cheat day", but I think that I know my cheat days are a little more than "I had ice cream".
I am powerless in front of food. Sugar, cookies, pizza, if my stomach wants them, my stomach will have them.
But I think the issue is more in my mind, and that is what I am going to try to do here as I work through these steps for overeating.
Now that I finally quit drinking and smoking, I am seeing that I do have issues when it comes to emotional eating. I do it, and I do it frequently. I'm trying to learn how to be more present in the moment, how to eat less.
Binge eating is a way for me to cope with things---yes. I don't know what it is about eating a giant bowl or FIVE of food that makes me feel better---but it does---and it scares me. I want to know that I have control, and that's why I have started this program.
When I get to the second step, I'll post it here and tell you all how I am working through it.
It's probably good to just soak up this confession I have made:
I admit that I am powerless over food and my life has become unmanageable.
I am a binge eater. I have been struggling to overcome it since my early childhood. I have gone through cycles of bulimia and recovery, only to start binging again (and once the weight creeps up, purging).
I can not be around food. I can not go into my kitchen. Food, to me, is literally the devil. I have accepted at this point that I will probably never be able to totally control my eating, and so Im working on setting restrictions/adapting an alternative lifestyle so that food and I only cross paths on my terms.
my relationship with food is ****ed up, and will probably never get normal. So, like with Alcoholics and booze, I think my only good road is avoidance.
I have been trying to get in shape or lose weight my entire life I think (at least since 6th grade). I embarked on a new pln today to lose 70lbs. The day was good until I could not stop eating after dinner. I ate a fullbag of potato chips (I don't even like potato chips) and a handful ofcookies. I'm sitting here right now with intense stomach pains since I ate so much. I couldn'tstop. I am a binger I feel terrible an I don't want to continue in this way.
I have spent the last hour reading through posts trying to figure out what t do next
Shaunna
I have been trying to get in shape or lose weight my entire life I think (at least since 6th grade). I embarked on a new pln today to lose 70lbs. The day was good until I could not stop eating after dinner. I ate a fullbag of potato chips (I don't even like potato chips) and a handful ofcookies. I'm sitting here right now with intense stomach pains since I ate so much. I couldn'tstop. I am a binger I feel terrible an I don't want to continue in this way.
I have spent the last hour reading through posts trying to figure out what t do next
Shaunna
Hey, Shaunna. Yeah, I used to do that. Those were my big trigger foods. I had to just eliminate them - no longer on the menu.
I am a binge eater and it is such a relief in some ways to just admit I cannot control it. Eating or not eating for me has always been about control, (or lack if it), even though I did not always know it. I am currently on what I call my twenty pound upswing, (every 1.5 years I gain or lose 20 pounds so I generally range from borderline skinny anorexic to feeling chubby and insatiably hungry), and it stinks being heavier though I tend to self-abuse just as much when I'm on my downswing.
Anyway, I could go on and on, but I won't... So here I go.... Step one and ready to make a permanent, positive change.
I am a binge eater and it is such a relief in some ways to just admit I cannot control it. Eating or not eating for me has always been about control, (or lack if it), even though I did not always know it. I am currently on what I call my twenty pound upswing, (every 1.5 years I gain or lose 20 pounds so I generally range from borderline skinny anorexic to feeling chubby and insatiably hungry), and it stinks being heavier though I tend to self-abuse just as much when I'm on my downswing.
Anyway, I could go on and on, but I won't... So here I go.... Step one and ready to make a permanent, positive change.