Weight Loss Support Give and get support here!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 10-30-2012, 05:18 PM   #1  
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
Dreamer2012's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 772

Height: 5'1

Default Good or bad motivator?

So, when I first started here in June, I was pretty motivated then I sunk for a week or two and was back on top of things until September when I had a visitor. Since September I've been trying to get back on track. Last day or two I've been feeling really good about myself and getting back into exercise which has been very up and down since last month. Today my friend (who would be taller and heavier than myself) asked me to join the gym. I declined as I don't have the money to spend but I said I was getting back into my exercise routine and I can do it on my own. Now that she is working on her health and weight, I feel like I've been given a kick up the back side now to get moving again because...I don't want her to get smaller than me! Is this slightly twisted? She is my best friend and I'm delighted she is working on her well being but I don't think I would like it if she would become smaller and healthier than me. Has anyone else ever suffered from a motivator that was probably bad? Do you get (secretly) competitive with friends who are also trying lose weight?
Dreamer2012 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2012, 05:23 PM   #2  
Stephanie
 
LockItUp's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,221

S/C/G: 236/135-140/More Fit

Height: 5'6"

Default

Twisted? Meh, maybe, but who am I to judge -- I'm pretty twisted.

I definitely have some not-so-honorable motivation at times.
LockItUp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2012, 05:31 PM   #3  
Senior Member
 
Skellig19's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 248

S/C/G: 350/296/125

Height: 177cm

Default

I see it as a good motivator as long as it doesn't turn into the only motivator. That's where it can get dangerous. I am in total (and silent) competition with several co-workers. Helps me to say no to the office treats...that sit right across from me in the office. Honestly, the only thing that stopped me from grabbing a Costco cookie last week was that I didn't want to give the women in my office the satisfaction! Ha ha ha. That being said, I've wanted stop relying on that competition to motivate me to continue to lose weight while at work. I've started keeping a list of treats that are brought in that I say no to. I want to see how big that list can get!
Skellig19 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2012, 05:41 PM   #4  
Dedicated Yogi
 
stimkovs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 894

S/C/G: 269/188/160

Height: 5'8 1/2 :)

Default

not twisted..inspired.

personally, i get secret kicks from ordering healthier foods/drinks when i go out with friends. same with fitting into smaller sizes then friends that have been smaller then me all their lives.

best feeling ever? being able to borrow your "normal sized" friends clothes!
stimkovs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2012, 05:44 PM   #5  
Katrina
 
Candeka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 926

S/C/G: 162/see ticker/130

Height: 5'6

Default

In all honesty, I think its a great motivator. As humans, it is natural for us to want to be better and prove ourselves when challenged by others - even when not actually competing. Plus, if she sticks with it , you are more likely to stick with it also so both of you come out winners.
Candeka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2012, 06:00 PM   #6  
Pain Is Fuel
 
Mimzzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 406

S/C/G: 180/176/118

Height: 5'5

Default

Honestly? I do the same thing, I get a secret kick from doing better then my friends. I think its natural to be a little competitive, even when you are not truly competing.

I know when my best friend is doing well, I usually end up trying to "do better" then her. I think as long as it does not turn into any sort of resentment, and is a "silent" motivator that you keep to yourself then its perfectly fine. Personally, I think any motivator is a good one!
Mimzzy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2012, 06:13 PM   #7  
Back with a story
 
Arctic Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,754

S/C/G: 281 / 254 / 160

Height: 5'3" - I got taller!

Default

I try not to think unkind thoughts of others to elevate myself, but that's just the way I'm personally convicted. It is a common behavior and I don't think a little friendly competition is harmful, but I try to watch it for possible mean or selfish thoughts toward others.
Arctic Mama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2012, 06:29 PM   #8  
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
Dreamer2012's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 772

Height: 5'1

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by stimkovs View Post
not twisted..inspired.

personally, i get secret kicks from ordering healthier foods/drinks when i go out with friends. same with fitting into smaller sizes then friends that have been smaller then me all their lives.

best feeling ever? being able to borrow your "normal sized" friends clothes!
I do the exact same when I am out! When they order soda and order water or when they layer on the mayo and I stay away from the mayo! It does give me great kicks to be honest.

I guess it isn't so bad then. I never thought I had a competitive side. It definitely isn't my only motivator. Just it happens to be what has given that push to really get back into the swing of things.
Dreamer2012 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2012, 06:40 PM   #9  
Knocking down walls.
 
theox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southeastern US
Posts: 1,597

S/C/G: 278/ticker/125

Height: 5'4"

Default

I think it's kind of dangerous to use others as motivation, since we can't control what other people do and trying to build ourselves up by minimizing or competing against others has the potential to lead to really weird relationship dynamics and drama.

How do you think you would feel if your friend did become smaller than you? How do you think your friendship would fare? How do you think your friend would feel if she knew how you viewed her? What are your motivations for being friends with this person?

On a practical note, I think that as long as you're still capable of acting like a good friend to this person and don't try to minimize or sabotage her efforts to be healthier for your own ego, using this feeling probably isn't too bad.
theox is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2012, 06:42 PM   #10  
Senior Member
 
JossFit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,371

Height: 5'4

Default

I think that as long as you don't do anything to take it to an unhealthy place it's a perfectly fine motivator!

Now, if you were to try sabotaging her in her efforts to lose (baking her favorite cookies and leaving them on her desk perhaps??) or pushing yourself past the healthy limits of your diet and exercise plan... that could be another story.

I will admit that while I genuinely LOVE when my friends are making progress and feeling great about themselves I don't necessarily want them to be doing 'better' than I am. I think that is perfectly normal!
JossFit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2012, 07:17 PM   #11  
Senior Member
 
linJber's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: NW PA
Posts: 1,609

S/C/G: 255/holding at 162/160

Height: 5'-7"

Default

Why not use each other as encouragement? Even if you can't go to the gym with your friend, you can keep each other motivated by sharing menus, tips, etc. I say use whatever means you can until it just becomes second nature. Just keep it friendly.

Lin
linJber is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2012, 07:24 PM   #12  
Back with a story
 
Arctic Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,754

S/C/G: 281 / 254 / 160

Height: 5'3" - I got taller!

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by theox View Post
I think it's kind of dangerous to use others as motivation, since we can't control what other people do and trying to build ourselves up by minimizing or competing against others has the potential to lead to really weird relationship dynamics and drama.

How do you think you would feel if your friend did become smaller than you? How do you think your friendship would fare? How do you think your friend would feel if she knew how you viewed her? What are your motivations for being friends with this person?

On a practical note, I think that as long as you're still capable of acting like a good friend to this person and don't try to minimize or sabotage her efforts to be healthier for your own ego, using this feeling probably isn't too bad.

Thanks, this is exactly what I was trying to get at. Just evaluate your heart, only you know if this is going to be an issue in your friendship or not
Arctic Mama is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Holding on to smaller clothes...good or bad idea? FreeBird3 Weight Loss Support 23 01-11-2012 10:08 PM
Any other short girls out there? (5'2 or under) mermaid20 Support Groups 500 07-29-2009 11:32 PM
Had to Vent, Put up or Shut up... WVU Jenn 30-Somethings 20 02-24-2009 01:44 PM
50 or more week of July 28 JanetMae WW Clubs and Groups 20 08-10-2003 08:08 PM


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:10 PM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.