[oneshortday]

I committed myself to lose weight at the beginning of the year in February. During one month, I shed about ten pounds (256ish down to 246ish) and I felt great...and then I went on vacation with partner to Hawaii. I couldn't resist eating what I liked there, and I grew lazy again and stopped exercising as much as I had been. Humiliatingly, I haven't gotten back into it since. From February to now, I've gained nearly twenty pounds - and I've never been this heavy in my life.

Mostly, I feel ashamed. I don't talk to my partner about my weight because I'm completely humiliated by what I've done. My main problem is that I have a severe addiction to fast food and I crave the worst things. I'll hide food or go out and eat without anyone knowing. When I try to go easy on what I'm eating, I'll feel an uncomfortable rumble in my stomach that seems to radiate up to my chest to the point that I feel like I'm starving -- it's unlike anything I've ever felt before. In short, I'm out of control and I don't know what to do.

I need support. I need to know I can actually change myself. I haven't been below 200 lbs since high school, and I'm miserable. Can I get some advice from anyone who has experienced something similar? I feel like I've hit rock bottom and the depression is only making the problem worse.

[Kitcherella]

One thing I've learned here in 3fc is that it is ok to fall as long as you stand up. So it is your time to stand up. Many people have the tendency to focus on the negative side of things. Don't do it. Focus on the month you were doing well. Focus on your desire to be a healthier person.
As for fast food, the more you eat clean tastes, the more you crave them.
That's what I do anyway

[silentarctic]

You can change, it will not be fast, it will not be easy and you may fall again. (Sorry if that doesn't seem encouraging keep reading though) as long as you keep getting up, you keep standing, keep finding the resolve to try again you will have success.

I am slowly losing slowly slowly and I have regained, and relost, a ton of weight as well. The difference this time is I am refocused on my efforts just a little more quickly and just a little more keenly.

I think, I understand the nausea thing I have no proper hunger signals its seems like I either want to not eat at all or eat everything in site, I find that until I get those urges into a healthier pattern it really helps to track everything keep a detailed food diary and set a routine.