I found two threads that really spoke to me in the 20-somethings and 30-somethings forum (the links are below). I thought maybe we could try to do this here on the 40-somethings and see if our responses are similar or different based on age and experience. The only rules are to be honest and not to judge anyone's confessions about their weight loss journey. You can post more than once. I feel like most of my confessions have already been highlighted in the two other threads, so this may be more of a copy and paste exercise for me. Here are some of my weight loss confessions -
~ I always got mad at my doctors when they suggested that weight loss would resolve some of my health issues - I felt it was "fat discrimination" and an easy way for them to shirk diagnosing and solving my health problems. To my chagrin, since I have begun to lose weight, some of my health issues have been resolved. I know that I still have some health issues that would be resolved if I would lose more weight.
~ On a related note - I confess that secretly I wish there was a clinical reason for me being so fat.
~ I would love to be able to look good in a bathing suit again.
~ I am afraid of what my tummy and breasts will look like when I am done losing weight.
~ I constantly feel like I am just passing time until I fail, again.
~ I worry that the closer I get to goal, the easier it will be to get lazy and go back to old ways.
~ I confess that I automatically look around a room/event/whatever to see if I'm the fattest person there. I'm thrilled when I'm not.
~ My goal weight is 130lbs, but my super-secret goal weight is 115lbs.
~ If the scale goes up at all it discourages me and makes me want to give up the weight loss battle.
~ I confess that I sometimes wish I would get a curable sickness that would just make the fat fall off.
~ I confess that I feel like fat is "contagious," meaning that if you surround yourself with heavy people, it will cause your own weight to rise. I feel this way because I was very thin when I married my overweight husband (his entire family has weight issues). My friends at the time (exercise buddies and very skinny themselves) used to tease me about why I was dating someone overweight when I was so fit (what can I say - I loved the guy despite his weight!). I wound up being influenced by his negative eating habits and now, many years of marriage later, we are both overweight. I also logically know I have no right to blame him for my bad choices - but emotionally, I still secretly do.
~ I almost never get on the floor to play with my 6 year old because I can't get comfortable on the floor and I can't get back up without stumbling, huffing, and great effort. This becomes more difficult to avoid when we are at playgroups, children's museums, or doing mom/kid classroom activities.
~ I am afraid of the attention I might attract when I am thin - both from women (jealousy/cattiness) and men (flirting/suggestive comments). Since getting fat I have become invisible - and sometimes it's kind of nice. Strange, how the larger we become, the less people notice us!
~ ETA - this is probably the most important and secret confession for me. I am terrified that my daughter is going to become overweight. She has put on a great deal of weight over the past year since hitting puberty, and I am afraid she is going to keep piling on the pounds. She eats a lot (she is a growing girl!), but how much of it is emotional overeating? I don't want to become the food police and make her self-conscious or think that I am calling her fat. So far, I have not commented on her food intake. I was so much smaller/thinner than she is at her age, and now nobody would guess that I had ever once been thin! Had I started out at my current weight during my youth, I would probably be twice my size today (at the rate I have gained weight throughout the years). If she keeps up this weight gain, I am afraid she will be obese during her teens and 20s - a time when she should be looking her best! I don't want her to suffer, and also - shamefully - I don't want to feel embarrassed about her weight or have people blame me for it ("Why don't you put her on a diet?" "Well, what do you expect from her - look at the mother!").
That's it for now. Is anyone brave enough to add their own confessions?
Weight Loss Confessions 20-somethings
Weight Loss Confessions 30-somethings