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Old 04-29-2012, 09:49 AM   #1
starryblu's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: north carolina
Posts: 37

S/C/G: 198/198/145

Height: 5'6"

Smile new chick on the block

Hi everyone!! Thought I would pop in and say hello...

54 year old divorced mom of three sons and two daughters-in-law. We are expecting the first baby in the family....the big event is in august! I love needlework and reading and cooking. (imagine that lol)

I am at a point where I am beyond frustration.I'm in that same of cycle of "I'm gonna do it this time, starting today" to totally blowing it at the end of the day. Seems like the scale just keeps creeping up. I've actually gained and lost large amounts of weight during my adult life. The heaviest I have been was right about 300 lbs. When I finally actively worked on taking it off, I lost 167 lbs in a little less than a year. A year or so later, I started gaining. Gained back 80 lbs. About a year after that, I lost the 80. In the last five years, I have gained back 60 of the 80 lbs.

I can find several excuses. I quit smoking two years ago. (yay me!) I've had some HUGE losses. Caregiver for someone very very close to me, that I watched die of a brain tumor. Ten months later, I lost my middle son. People say that when you comfort yourself with food, you feel bad after you've eaten. Not so with me. There's always tomorrow, right? *said sarcastically*

I've been eating disordered since I was about 12 years old. Used to do the bingeing and purging, but my body won't allow it anymore. The only way I've ever been able to lose weight was by just plain starving myself. *sigh* I've tried counting calories, eating healthier, I know how to go about it. I just don't seem to be able to.

Anyway, that's about it for me. I'm feeling positive about joining this forum, and looking forward to making new friends!
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