General chatter Because life isn't just about dieting. Play games, jokes, or share what's new in your life!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-22-2012, 11:23 AM   #1  
Thin Girl in Training
Thread Starter
 
chubbybunny29's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: California
Posts: 371

S/C/G: 285.5/269.4/180

Height: 5'5"

Default Well that was humiliating

We went over to the home of an old friend of my husband's last night. They were friends in high school and reconnected through facebook, so we decided to have dinner at their place. They have two little kids, 4 and 6. It was lovely to meet them, and things were going great, and then the younger one asked if we have any kids. I said no. He asked if we were going to have any kids, again I said no. Then he turns to his mom and says "well why is her tummy so fat then if there's no baby in there"...

The mom handled it really well and said "well God makes everyone different, in all shapes, sizes and colors, and she is perfect because God made her". I guess that the mom had just lost 60lbs so the kids are super aware of weight and weight loss right now, so it made it something they noticed.

Nonetheless, I was pretty embarrassed, and wanted to cry, but really didn't want to make a big deal out of it. It just really was not what I needed to hear last night. Meeting new people and having it literally said out loud that I'm fat just was not what I needed.
chubbybunny29 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 11:58 AM   #2  
Senior Member
 
Brandis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: florida
Posts: 665

Height: 5'9"

Default

I am amazed you didn't cry. I would have cried, and still be crying. Kids say the rudest things sometimes. If that was my child, I would have corrected them and told them it is rude to comment on someone's body size, and made them apologize for hurting someone's feelings. That is especially hurtful since the woman had lost weight herself, and she should have educated her kids a little better. Anyways, don't worry about it, and especially don't let it set you back. Just keep working towards better health for yourself, and ignore the thoughts and comments of others. We are worth more than just what other people think of us, especially those of us who have only been around for 4 years. Hugs to you.
Brandis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 12:00 PM   #3  
Senior Member
 
juliana77's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: California
Posts: 659

S/C/G: 285/211/165

Height: 5'6"

Default

Oh man, that stinks. Even when you know "intellectually" that a 4 year old is all about facts (big belly = baby) and didn't mean to hurt your feelings, it still is tough to hear. But the good news is that you are working on it, and making great progress!
juliana77 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 12:24 PM   #4  
Make it to the moon...
 
KimL1214's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Vermont
Posts: 2,554

S/C/G: 5/8/19: 319/254.0/150.0

Height: 5'5"

Default



The local store is owned by a family who just moved here from India. They are all tiny and their English is a bit rough. For the past few months the older woman at the store has asked me, "when will baby come?" First time, I got really upset and left... second time, I was still a little upset and left again...third time, I made a joke of it... "They're twins, and in about 3 months..." She noticed I'm a little smaller the other day and asked me if I was really having a baby or not and I said... "no..." and giggled, she laughed too and apologized... It might have been a little mean for me to lead her on, but I really don't think people should ask women if they are pregnant or not... Wait for the woman to tell you!!!
KimL1214 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 12:34 PM   #5  
Mini Goal 1- 199
 
toastedsmoke's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Africa
Posts: 1,449

S/C/G: 275/201.3/160

Height: 5'7

Default

I'm so sorry. I know how much that blows!!!! My little cousins used to ask me till they were really old enough to know better if I was pregnant, if I'd ever been pregnant (mind you I was in high school and undergrad at the time) and why I was "SO fat." It hurts. Especially when it's said in front of adults who know it's not appropriate. With my cousins alone I was able to tell them everyone was different and it was rude to make personal comments about people, but when adults were there I had to pretend not to care even though I was mortified.

The fact is yes, I was fat and I wasn't really doing anything about it. That was what made my situation extra sad. Yes it was embarrassing but feel the victory in the the fact that you're doing something about it. If you're not happy or comfortable with your body, you're working on it. And you're succeeding. That's the victory. Next time you meet that little boy he'll be older and hopefully wiser, but you definitely will be tinier. So keep on trucking, dear, ok?
toastedsmoke is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 12:49 PM   #6  
The 'x3' is a heart! :)
 
mirax3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 344

S/C/G: 250/low 200's/165

Height: 5'6

Default

Oh, gosh I'm so sorry to hear that!!

That has happened to me way to frequently in the past when I was a preschool teacher. "Ms. Miranda why is your tummy so big? Ms. Miranda you're fat.". Granted, their moms were super skinny and I guess I was a lot bigger than them at the time, but it still hurt SO much. Don't let this get to you, though. Kids will be kids and as you said they are just really tuned in with weight loss right now because of their mother.

Sorry that happened to you. You got this though, turn it into fuel for your fire!!!
mirax3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 12:52 PM   #7  
Senior Member
 
JudgeDread's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 674

S/C/G: 170/165/145

Height: 5'7

Default

I did that to my mom when I was little. I didn't mean anything bad by it and I think any little kids like that really don't know better. Not all kids can understand things at that level until they are quite a bit older. It sucks, but don't let it get you down.

I've embarresed my poor mom a lot, I even told my kindergarden teacher one day she had the runs! LOL
JudgeDread is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 01:06 PM   #8  
Senior Member
 
MARLA26's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 112

S/C/G: 198/181/135

Height: 5'7''

Default

Young children are very curious and ask a lot of questions. That is how they learn.
We must remember that we ate ourselves into our embarrassing moments.
The only way to avoid these embarrassments completely is to lose the weight and get thin.

Sigh...and it's such a looong journey.
Until then, any of us can expect comments like this from little kids.


Best of luck to everyone here. I hope we all get a lot thinner by the Holiday Season this winter!




That fat girl is still inside of you... still part of you... but she knows she's never allowed to come back because she's not healthy.
But she played a very important role - she showed you what you never want to be again and what you will never do to yourself again.
She showed you a very dark side of life and now allows you to empathize with people who are struggling the way you did.
MARLA26 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 01:10 PM   #9  
Senior Member
 
cherrypie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Vancouver Island
Posts: 1,014

Height: 5'5

Default

my kids used to say stuff like that all the time and my husband would get so mad at them. but hey, I am fat. I knew that before they told me and they just were telling the truth.
cherrypie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 01:34 PM   #10  
Thin Girl in Training
Thread Starter
 
chubbybunny29's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: California
Posts: 371

S/C/G: 285.5/269.4/180

Height: 5'5"

Default

I didn't blame the mom. She said she's trying hard to help her kids understand the balance between her being proud of being slimmer and healthier, and them not having negative body views. I think it was just one of those innocent moments when kids don't understand what the social filter is.

I do I agree that its my own less-than-healthy behavior that has made it an issue, and I'm sure I'll see it as motivating soon, but for now, I'm still feeling sorry for myself a bit. I'm giving myself until the end of the day to wallow in my self pity.

Thanks everyone for the support! It makes such a difference to be able to tell people who may have had an embarrassing moment, and have people understand.
chubbybunny29 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 01:43 PM   #11  
small goals
 
gonnadoitthistime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: KY
Posts: 217

S/C/G: 241/171/150

Height: 5'6"

Default

I think the important thing to remember is that there was no judgement attached, that when little children say things they are using the words to describe, not judge. For them the term "fat" is like saying yellow, or tall. It's our negative feelings about these issues that color things. I wouldn't be surprised if "fat tummy" is a term the child has heard in the household in reference to pregnancy, so was naturally confused. I think the mother did well to explain things to the child and perhaps had a talk later about commenting about other people.
gonnadoitthistime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 01:58 PM   #12  
Junior Member
 
dellastreet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6

Default

I broke a chair at a Christmas party once - now *that* was pretty embarrassing to say the least :O(

Yes, give yourself a day, then try to forget it - it was a very young child who really didn't understand, but I *do* know how you feel - hang in there!
dellastreet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 02:15 PM   #13  
Caroline
 
thistoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Knoxville, TN
Posts: 2,317

Height: 5'0"

Default

I carry a crazy amount of weight in my arms. Seriously, they are HUGE and I am really self-conscious about them. I work out with my sister at her house a few times a week, and one day I went over there in a t-shirt for our usual workout. My six-year-old nephew looked at me and said, "Auntie, your arms are huge!"

This was in front of my sister, her husband, and her teenage stepson, naturally. Thanks, kid! But then he added, "You have big muscles like a superhero!" which in his book is a plus, since at the time he was superhero obsessed. (He's moved on to ninjas.)

So it's all about perception. It was still really hard to hear, but kids are never going to stop calling like they see it. The good news is that we can change ourselves for the better so we don't have to hear that stuff anymore.
thistoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 02:17 PM   #14  
Senior Member
 
Mollewogg's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Olathe, KS
Posts: 173

S/C/G: 200/120/125

Height: 5'6"

Default

Unfortunately kids don't come with filters Sorry this happened to you, but don't let it deter you. Be strong!
Mollewogg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2012, 02:24 PM   #15  
Changing for the better
 
TiffNeedsChange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 815

S/C/G: 268/257/150

Height: 5'8"

Default

:hugs: I had that happen to me once before and I DID cry! Kudos for you for being able to control your emotions. Kids usually don't understand a whole lot about other people's feeling but that doesn't make it hurt any less. You are beautiful!
TiffNeedsChange is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
New! This is my story. :P Or well, introduction that is way too long. lol krissytjnp 300+ Club 12 06-01-2007 10:06 PM
Ibs Nothing More Humiliating!!! 2stepgal Dieting with Obstacles 21 10-31-2003 08:53 AM


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:08 AM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.