[Moonsai]

When I dieted around my family in Florida, there was no problem. My mom was supportive as long as I lost weight by eating healthy, avoiding junk food, and exercising. I was never overweight, just overfat.

But then I had moved in with the in laws. Dieting there was a nightmare. I'd get ridicule over my lower-fat foods, and they always tried to get me to eat junk food. "A little bit won't hurt you." Yeah, right! I tasted some bad foods again and eventually gained back the 15 or so pounds I lost.

Now that I'm living with my husband, its easier. But I've noticed that the mentality of the area we used to live in deals with rather being big and eating whatever than dieting and living healthy.

So I'm worried when I do lose the weight, and this time when I lose 5 lbs extra, that they will think I'm anorexic.

I know it sounds wierd, but being 5' 1.5" and having such a small frame makes me look teeny when I lose weight. I have a frame so small that I can't wear women's bracelets or women's shoes - they fall right off!

I even pulled back my hip fat one day and I look creepishy tiny. What if people see that and start harassing me to eat a burger?

Do any of you share a fear like this? And have any of you experienced a point in life where people were trying to get you to eat more because they thought you looked sickly when you were just fine?

Edit: Meant looking too Thin* in the title, how did I miss that? lol

[krampus]

Not really. Most food pushers secretly wish they were skinny.

[bargoo]

I am short and small boned ,too. I do not worry about what others think, Iam only concened about being healthy.
Ignore those unwanted comments.

[hle82]

I'd rather be a tad thin than overweight TBH. I am about the same height as you (5'1) and the lowest I ever got was 114-115 briefly. Looked and felt great, but still with some extra flab. This time, I am aiming to get down there (and closer to 100) and STAY there.

[kateleestar]

Originally Posted by krampus

Not really. Most food pushers secretly wish they were skinny.

Agreed!!

I have a small frame too, even at 5'7".. (like I have to have my bracelts shortened and everything.) Even at 279 I wore a size 6 ring, and I've never had cankels or thick wrists.

If they harass you, maybe come up with your 'standard reply'... like 'I'm healthy for my size..' or 'I eat to live, not live to eat... thanks.'

Good luck! I'm already getting 'you're loosing too much! when are you gonna stop!' because my collar bones are already sticking out, and my wrists are bony. I can't wait to lose 25 more lbs!

[banananutmuffin]

I am 5'0" (plus a quarter of an inch! lol), and have a small frame. Bracelets never fit me. My wedding ring is sized at 3.75, and right now it's spinning around on my finger.

I actually just experienced this yesterday at Easter. Even though I've only lost about 10 lbs since everyone's seen me last, Hubby's family sure had a lot of comments to make about me. Some were positive ("You look so skinny!"). Some were negative ("You look so skinny!"). It was all in the tone of voice. My MIL did ask me in a concerned voice if I was eating. Some of this may because I was wearing more fitted clothing than usual since I am now more confident about my body.

Hubby, too, has been making comments. Yesterday he wrapped his hands around the thickest part of my thigh and said, "I can overlap my fingers! You're too skinny. Your legs are starting to look stick-like and weird."

A cousin asked me "How did you lose all the weight?" This particular cousin has a habit of eating a Big Mac AND Quarter Pounder at McDonalds, with a side of 10-piece chicken nuggets. I didn't really respond, because what could I say?

Interestingly, my own family (dad, brother, etc.) have made no comments about my weight at all. I think it's because they've known me my whole life, and thus known me back when I was really really tiny, so seeing me small isn't surprising to them. Hubby's family, on the other hand, has only known me a bit heavier, so now my body looks "shocking" to them.

That (long ramble) said, for me it comes down to this: as long as I'm healthy, and as long as I feel confident about my body, I will continue to act as I am. I may keep a little extra padding to make Hubby happy, as long as it's not detrimental to my health, because, well... he's the one who sees me naked all the time. lol

[Moonsai]

krampus: That's what I've always figured. I wonder if the main food pusher, my mother in law, does it to make me bigger so that her bigger daughter won't feel so bad about herself. (She's 5'5" and around 250lbs.)

bargoo: I'll do my best to ignore them. Here's to hoping I don't cause any problems with people.

hle82: I've managed to get to 108, with a "when sick" low of 104. I still had a pound or a few of flab, but was almost there. Hoping for 103 or lower now.

kateleestar: If I told them 'I eat to live, not live to eat,' they may take it offensively. Its always overweight women that are the food pushers in that part of where I used to live.

banananutmuffin: My wedding band is either a 3 or a 4. Funny how my husband bought me a "real" set for under $200 and I could never really wear it at a size 7. I was too afraid to resize it for fear of it getting lost, so instead I got a kid's $15 wedding-band-like ring in sterling silver. Works even better!

And about that cousin - I know what you mean. The sister in law I mentioned loves McDonalds, Hot Pockets, and the local pizza place. She'll wash it down with 6 cans of Mt. Dew over the course of a day. Some people have to want to put in the effort before they can make any significant/long-term progress.


And I just thought of something. The people most likely to try and get "involved" in my eating have a weight scale at home. I guess I can just weigh myself in front of them so they don't freak out, and then have them compare it to a BMI scale.

Hopefully it won't get that bad.

[ValRock]

Strength train!!!!!

You won't look 'too thin' if you're fit and toned!

[sontaikle]

Like Valrock said, strength training can make you look strong. I like to think I have an athletic look to me.

I get the "you're too thin" comments when I don't wear properly fitting clothes. Whereas wearing something baggy would make me look bigger when I was heavier, it seems to have the opposite effect when I'm thinner. I remember being lazy one day when I went to the gym and I threw on an old shirt that was big on me...everyone thought I was starving myself! The next time when I wore something that fit me properly, I got many comments saying "you look so great!"

So I immediately went out and bought a bunch of new tank tops for the gym that are form fitting. Now I don't have to hear everyone!! haha

[xiaobaicai]

Definitely seconding on everyone's "food pushers wish they were thin" comments. It's motivated by jealousy. Just put yourself in their shoes -- it's hard for me to imagine them actually believing that being overweight is more healthy, even if obesity is socially normalized in particular regions of the country.

I've gotten that a lot from this one aunt of mine, and the effect it has on me is this strange intersection of annoyance and affirmation. Part of the affirmation stems from my general dislike for this aunt (who is boorish and obnoxious and whatever else the opposite of "sensitive and refined" might be). It almost feels good to be thinner than her and more successful and well-adjusted than her hapless children, because I feel like that's my one way of quietly spiting her while still being "the bigger person" in situations.

But of course, yeah, it must be really annoying to get that all the time -- at least I only have to deal with Aunt Wretch a couple times a year. Just worry about how *you* think you look, and not about how jealous it's going to make people around you feel. I mean, if you were to go to NYC or something, you'd be just another slim, well-turned girl in the crowd.

I don't know if that helps at all. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that you could try to turn those comments into affirmation, rather than something that makes you feel put off from your weight loss efforts. Besides, being told you're too thin feels so secretly wonderful.

[Anssett]

Having people tell you you look too skinny is super annoying but realize it's almost ALWAYS about them, not you. Wearing clothes that fit helps. Then there are lots of stock phrases to try:
"I appreciate the concern but I'm at a healthy BMI"
"Thanks, but I'm making sure I stay healthy"
etc. What matters is that you be confident in your healthy self.

[sontaikle]

Originally Posted by xiaobaicai

Definitely seconding on everyone's "food pushers wish they were thin" comments. It's motivated by jealousy. Just put yourself in their shoes -- it's hard for me to imagine them actually believing that being overweight is more healthy, even if obesity is socially normalized in particular regions of the country.

I think the issue is more that people can't recognize what is a healthy weight and what isn't. Overweight looks normal, Obese looks overweight, Normal looks underweight. Most people wind up being shocked when they find out they are obese according to the BMI charts because they probably thought they were overweight at best. People usually look at the chart and scoff at the weights listed. I know I did.

Then again if you are really tall it doesn't quite work for you anyway, but most of us here are not over 6 feet tall

[banananutmuffin]

Originally Posted by sontaikle

I think the issue is more that people can't recognize what is a healthy weight and what isn't. Overweight looks normal, Obese looks overweight, Normal looks underweight. Most people wind up being shocked when they find out they are obese according to the BMI charts because they probably thought they were overweight at best. People usually look at the chart and scoff at the weights listed. I know I did.

Then again if you are really tall it doesn't quite work for you anyway, but most of us here are not over 6 feet tall

I agree with this totally!!

Hubby was giving me more grief last night about being too thin, and we went to the BMI charts. Based on my height, I'd have to be 94 pounds to be considered underweight! I told him, "There is no way I will ever be that thin, so you can stop worrying!"

Also, strength training does help, I agree. The added muscle looks awesome. I sooooo wish I were more motivated to do it.

[Only Me]

I do agree that society has just lost track of what too thin is. You also get used to seeing a particular person in a particular way, and it's hard to mentally adjust.

Eg. When my mother lost about 30lbs a few years ago, my sister was telling me that she was worried, my mother was too thin, etc. Now, when I visited and saw her, it was a mental shock to me and took a while to adjust. BUT, my mother is 5'3" and weighs about 130lbs at her lowest. She is nothing like underweight, too thin, etc. It's just that we were used to seeing her at 150-160, so she seemed really thin to us for a while. Now we've gotten used to it and she's just mom again, not skinny mom.

[sontaikle]

Originally Posted by banananutmuffin

I agree with this totally!!

Hubby was giving me more grief last night about being too thin, and we went to the BMI charts. Based on my height, I'd have to be 94 pounds to be considered underweight! I told him, "There is no way I will ever be that thin, so you can stop worrying!"

Also, strength training does help, I agree. The added muscle looks awesome. I sooooo wish I were more motivated to do it.

I had to have a talk with my mom about that too. She thought I was getting too thin, so I sat down and told her that a person of my height can weigh anywhere from 104 to 140 pounds and be considered healthy. I told her there was no way I'm getting down to that bottom range, and she said she honestly thought I was already there! I guess that's strength training for you, making me look smaller than I am.

Honestly I am one of the laziest people I know. Strength training fits me because you only need about 20 minutes a couple times a week and you're set.

Originally Posted by Only Me

I do agree that society has just lost track of what too thin is. You also get used to seeing a particular person in a particular way, and it's hard to mentally adjust.

Eg. When my mother lost about 30lbs a few years ago, my sister was telling me that she was worried, my mother was too thin, etc. Now, when I visited and saw her, it was a mental shock to me and took a while to adjust. BUT, my mother is 5'3" and weighs about 130lbs at her lowest. She is nothing like underweight, too thin, etc. It's just that we were used to seeing her at 150-160, so she seemed really thin to us for a while. Now we've gotten used to it and she's just mom again, not skinny mom.

Oh yeah that's definitely part of it too. Most of the "you're getting too skinny" comments come from people who saw me go from being over 200 pounds to 115 pounds. Big change! It was especially shocking for a bunch of people I ran into recently who hadn't seen me since I was around 190 pounds.

Like you said, people seem to adapt eventually. I don't hear those comments much anymore so I guess everyone is starting to adjust.

Same thing is happening with my friend. She lost around 100lbs and I remember thinking that maybe she was getting too thin. I decided to keep my mouth shut because I know how annoying it was to have people mentioning that all the time. Sure enough she doesn't look too thin anymore. She's just the same friend, but in a smaller body.