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03-29-2012, 02:50 PM
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#1
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Lifes a Journey
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,707
S/C/G: 195/Ticker/170
Height: 5'5
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A date!
Kind of, it's more of a coffee meet with a guy that I've been texting for months now. I'm not really nervous but the problem is I'm socially awkward and very shy and guarded. I have no clue what kind of questions I should ask. Other than the simple basics...anyone have questions they like to ask when they're on a date or meeting someone for the first time? Not to mention when it get's turned around on me...My life sucks, I'm boring, never travelled other than across the country. My job is lame, sometimes I feel like I've accomplished nothing in life or that's worth talking about....
Last edited by MiZTaCCen; 03-29-2012 at 03:00 PM.
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03-29-2012, 03:00 PM
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#2
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Sarah
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 802
S/C/G: 350/184/180
Height: 6'
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I'm the exact same way. It takes me awhile to become comfortable enough with the opposite sex to have a real conversation. Maybe why all my past boyfriends and I were friends first xD....Anyways...when I'm out on dates, after the initial hey how are you conversation I do something really quirky...I have them hold out their hands, palm side down, while I place mine under theirs but not touching and I start with asking basic questions and things I'm curious about (while throwing in a playful slap once in awhile with that hand game) slowly it turns from questions to a conversation without even trying.
Sorry I can't answer your direct question, thats just something that helps me and maybe it can help you...Good luck and have fun on the coffee date =D
Last edited by baker23; 03-29-2012 at 03:23 PM.
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03-29-2012, 03:53 PM
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#3
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Enjoying la bella vita
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,952
S/C/G: 28 pounds to go
Height: 5-4
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What's the best vacation he ever had? You find out insight to someone - what they really like, etc. ... top three movies ... you'll be invited to share yours, etc. ... education/training/money not an object, what is the coolest job they can think of - or what really interests them if they could do it other than what they're doing now, etc.
Instead of thinking about what to talk about, though, just relax, enjoy yourself, and let the conversation flow. Sometimes just being "armed" with topics ensures you're more relaxed, though, and you won't even need them. Have fun!
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03-30-2012, 12:08 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 236
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You have been texting him for months, just continue that face to face. You are meeting up because you made a connection so be comfortable with that.
Be honest. Talk to him as you have talked to us here and let him lead the conversation after that. I have no doubt he is as nervous as you so you can share that and move on from there.
Just be yourself =) Let him be himself. If you guys made it this far texting you are already one step ahead
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03-30-2012, 12:25 AM
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#5
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PCOS/IR/Hypothyroid
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,855
Height: 5'8"
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I agree -- if you've been texting all this time, just relax. He can ask you whatever. You just answer honestly.
What do you want to know more about HIM is the question. And where do you want this rship to go? What are YOU looking for?
I always asked about previous relationships as a litmus. If the ex was TOO evil, that's a red flag to me. Bad ex's happen, but c'mon. Bride of frankenstein? ALL of them? I'd wonder what about the rship went sour that he isn't wanting to own and wants to fob off on the person who isn't there to tell their side.
If the most recent ex is TOO much on their mind still, that's a red flag too. Like they are not totally over them yet and maybe not ready to be dating still.
About their family culture -- how their parents met, how many siblings, customs, religions etc.
How do they like to be treated, handle conflict, etc. I like getting a sense of what people skills this person has.
Because honestly? I'm not up for ego stroking, petty jealousies, and egg shell walking. And for me?
I'm also not up for mixed marriage culture clash crazy. I'm in a mixed marriage, my parents were in a mixed marriage, and it works fine if both sides are cool with that. But it's H***L if both sides aren't cool with it and it can cause such deep rifts. Ugh.
I'd want to know things like that before getting in too deep with the person.
A.
Last edited by astrophe; 03-30-2012 at 12:28 AM.
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03-30-2012, 01:14 AM
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#6
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Pinkie Pie Pony
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 140
S/C/G: 194/180.2/125
Height: 5'5
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Date night!
You've been texting for months sweety, so obviously he likes you. You've already had conversations, just relax and continue talking like you have been. Good luck and have fun. Be yourself and enjoy yourself<3 GOOD LUCK!!!!
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03-30-2012, 08:54 AM
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#7
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Lifes a Journey
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,707
S/C/G: 195/Ticker/170
Height: 5'5
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You guys are right, we've been texting for months so now were just meeting up so no biggie! I love the questions you guys have given me to ask as well. I tend to forget about the simple things, like brothers, sisters, family, (never forget to ask about the ex's) haha.
I'll keep you guys posted if it goes from coffee to a date another day!
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03-30-2012, 03:10 PM
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#8
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Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 18
S/C/G: 169/169/155
Height: 5'6
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Most of all HAVE FUN!! Dont put too much pressure on yourself
Although friends and family would describe me as a social butterfly, I am actually extremely socially awkward and VERY uncomfortable on first one on ones. But, I have found the easiest way to break the ice- be HONEST! I usually will say, yeah, I'm a little nervous here. You will probably be surprised to here them say they are too!
Enjoy!
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03-31-2012, 03:44 PM
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#9
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Lifes a Journey
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,707
S/C/G: 195/Ticker/170
Height: 5'5
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It went really well! He told me after the date he wanted to see me again, he's also been text me...so who knows lets see what the future holds! woot!
Thanks for all your advice guys! It really went smooth and with the flow I didn't even have to sit there and think what to say next, it was just comfortable for the both of us!
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03-31-2012, 03:55 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 674
S/C/G: 170/165/145
Height: 5'7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MiZTaCCen
It went really well! He told me after the date he wanted to see me again, he's also been text me...so who knows lets see what the future holds! woot!
Thanks for all your advice guys! It really went smooth and with the flow I didn't even have to sit there and think what to say next, it was just comfortable for the both of us!
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Nicely done!
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03-31-2012, 04:00 PM
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#11
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Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: York England
Posts: 17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MiZTaCCen
It went really well! He told me after the date he wanted to see me again, he's also been text me...so who knows lets see what the future holds! woot!
Thanks for all your advice guys! It really went smooth and with the flow I didn't even have to sit there and think what to say next, it was just comfortable for the both of us!
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Hi saw this post the other night but thought it best not to advise being a man lol ......so forgive me asking but would to love to know what you did talk about? Glad it went well ...just being nosey x
Ian
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03-31-2012, 04:35 PM
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#12
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Lifes a Journey
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,707
S/C/G: 195/Ticker/170
Height: 5'5
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Thanks! and Luton
we talked about family, ex's his acting career, his master's in criminal psychology. We also talked about what I do which is nothing exciting, video games, (cause I'm a gamer) and I was telling him about my days when I would play resident evil 1, 2 and 3 I'd scream because something would randomly jump out at me lol. Childhood I guess pretty much all the basics! lol
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04-02-2012, 08:43 AM
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#13
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Pinkie Pie Pony
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 140
S/C/G: 194/180.2/125
Height: 5'5
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Yay!
Congrats! I'm so happy for you! I hope things work out, but even if they don't, this is a great learning experience for you, next time, if there is a next time, you don't have to worry about so much because you've been there done that and you did AMAZING!<3 I'm so excited for you!!!
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04-02-2012, 09:25 AM
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#14
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Lifes a Journey
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,707
S/C/G: 195/Ticker/170
Height: 5'5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goody3shoes
Congrats! I'm so happy for you! I hope things work out, but even if they don't, this is a great learning experience for you, next time, if there is a next time, you don't have to worry about so much because you've been there done that and you did AMAZING!<3 I'm so excited for you!!!
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Thank you!
We have a second date this weekend sometime. It's easter weekend so we're not sure which day yet because he'll have family in town. We're going to do dinner which will be nice.
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04-02-2012, 09:48 AM
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#15
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Pinkie Pie Pony
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 140
S/C/G: 194/180.2/125
Height: 5'5
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Ack!
I'm so super excited for you! I haven't been on a first date in 2 1/2 years so I hope you don't mind me living a little vicariously through you! Dinner will be amazing and he's making time for you on what is usually exclusively a family holiday weekend so it's a good sign! Keep me posted! And have a great time!!!!!!!!!!!
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