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Old 02-29-2012, 02:18 PM   #4
ICUwishing
Recovering Pantry Pest
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,245

S/C/G: 174.5/157.2/149 for now

Height: 5'7.5"

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I could have written your post - the only replacement would be to substitute a 50-something stepgrandpa for the nephew. I have to second/third/fourth the counseling recommendations.

I was "lucky" in that my breakdown came in my senior year of high school, and with that, came the therapy. I learned early that to keep looking back is to give that event and that person wayyy too much power. Therapy gives you a chance to define it, acknowledge, and put boundaries on it. To grieve for the childhood, to assess your natural reactions, and to MOVE ON. I'm still very slow to trust anybody. My personal space boundaries are pretty big. But I've been married for 22 years and have a terrific son. There's no reason to tell anybody in the family (my husband does know), because it won't help me or them. God or karma is taking care of evening the score.

We are survivors. That does not need to mean "scarred for life". You are not a fat loser! You might be damaged, but damage can be healed when you get down to the roots. It won't be easy or fun - in a way it's a lot like dieting. There's days you want to crawl back into the bad habits because they feel good for a minute, there's days you don't want to eat the dang broccoli, and often it's not fun to flip over the mental rocks and step on what scurries out. The payoff for both is huge and worth the effort - you get your life, ALL OF IT, back! Goes right back to "Being a victim is hard. Being a survivor is hard. Thriving in spite of it is hard. Pick your hard."

PM if you like! It can be difficult to see the sunshine when your head is down.
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~ Becky ~
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