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02-29-2012, 12:48 AM
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#1
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Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: WI
Posts: 266
S/C/G: 206/165/140
Height: 5' 5.75''
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How is the spouse taking the changes?
I think my husband might be a tiny bit insecure as he has recently told me "I refuse to let someone else reap the benefits of all your hard work." I think he's right as he has lived with little me, big me, pregnant me, smaller me for the past 8 years but the comment threw me off guard a little. He made it after some guy asked me to dance when we went out for the first time since New Year's Eve this past Saturday. I never really bothered to think that I am not the only one getting use to a changing weight or body image.
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02-29-2012, 04:33 AM
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#2
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Sarah
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 356
S/C/G: 172/ticker/125
Height: 5´4.5
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I think it is normal for them to be insecure a little. Just make him know you arnt going anywhere.
Quick funny story. My hubbers was deployed in January for afganistan, during his going away party I was at the bar, and the hubby was talking with his friend (who they call sharkie, casue he silently gets ALL the girls) when the friend said....¨oh, look at that hot blonde girl, I have never seen her before¨. My hubby said ¨that´s my wife¨and they both started laughing and came to me. I think it makes my husband feel good that other men look at me, becasue he knows Im not going anywhere.
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02-29-2012, 11:27 PM
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#3
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Being Me-Inside and Out
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: PA
Posts: 771
S/C/G: 259/see ticker/140
Height: 5'5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aunrio
I think my husband might be a tiny bit insecure as he has recently told me "I refuse to let someone else reap the benefits of all your hard work." .
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Augh, my guy said something very similar to me a couple months ago. I replied, "Maybe you should have been nicer to me when I was fat." Let other guys look. Flirt some even. It boosts the self-esteem and a little bit of jealousy makes our other halves appreciate what they have.
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03-01-2012, 08:12 AM
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#4
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Biker Chick!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Northern Vermont
Posts: 5,783
S/C/G: 169/152/145
Height: 5' 5"
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wow, that was quite a dig from him, I think. Does he dance, were you not dancing because HE doesn't?
Unfortunately he cannot keep the world from seeing (and appreciating ) the newer, smaller you.
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03-01-2012, 09:22 AM
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#5
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Leveling Up
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 3,651
S/C/G: 200+/115/115
Height: 5'3"
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Significant others are funny like that. They get a little bit on edge when we lose weight and it can be hard to understand why. My fiance can't keep his hands off me, but there were times when he expressed apprehension about my weight loss.
I think a lot of our spouses/significant others are afraid that we're getting ready to run off with a millionaire or something!! It helps, I think, to reassure them that you're doing this for yourself and leaving them probably didn't even cross your mind.
I'm going to turn the tables around here a bit. My fiance wants to start getting into weight training and jogging. He's told me he wants to be one of those muscular guys with a six pack (He's already pretty darn muscular actually, his arms are rock hard). I started fearing that he was going to leave me, wanted to do this to find some hot chick, etc., even though he said "I would feel better about myself." He just wants to FEEL better...not find some other girl, haha! I think we all sometimes fear the worst
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03-01-2012, 10:15 AM
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#6
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PCOS/IR/Hypothyroid
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,855
Height: 5'8"
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Quote:
"I refuse to let someone else reap the benefits of all your hard work."
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Was he joking? Does he think he owns you? Is he being insecure? I guess I find it off putting that he expressed that in that manner.
I'm probably just reading through my own filter. I hope it was a joke.
I had an ex-bf who was SO insecure all the time he drove me crazy with comments like that. It was the reason we broke up later. I just couldn't stand it any more.
A.
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03-01-2012, 10:20 AM
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#7
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Melissa
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 6,367
Height: 5'6.5"
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My husband LOVES that I now look so much better. He's so proud to say "that's my wife". And he likes it that other men are taking notice of me.
Because he is also confident that I'm not going anywhere. That statement your husband made is all about his OWN insecurities!
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03-01-2012, 11:25 AM
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#8
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Losing the baby weight
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Prince George, British Columbia
Posts: 1,696
S/C/G: 224/183/140
Height: 5"4
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My husband has expressed concerns about me getting too thin, but back when I lost the weight the first time he was also really turned on by the fact that I was taking care fo myself.
I asked my husband about this and says he understands where your husband was coming from, haha.
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03-01-2012, 01:34 PM
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#9
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Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,202
S/C/G: 133.4/123.2/115
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Quote:
Originally Posted by astrophe
Was he joking? Does he think he owns you? Is he being insecure? I guess I find it off putting that he expressed that in that manner.
I'm probably just reading through my own filter. I hope it was a joke.
I had an ex-bf who was SO insecure all the time he drove me crazy with comments like that. It was the reason we broke up later. I just couldn't stand it any more.
A.
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Agreed. I felt the same way reading that. You know who reaps the benefits of your hard work? YOU DO!
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03-01-2012, 01:43 PM
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#10
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Fat to Fab and Fit
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,122
S/C/G: 190/151.2/122
Height: 5'3"
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My husband is so happy for my weight loss; he also loves when other men take a second look at me -- He says; yup that is my hot wife -- I can't wait to reach my goal weight and be a real hottie; walking and holding my proud husband's hand.
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03-25-2012, 09:47 AM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,678
S/C/G: HW 212/148/130~174/139/130
Height: 5'4
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My husband likes how I look, but he has expressed the concern that he needs to start losing weight so that he looks like he belongs with me! He feels that we are starting to look like one of those mismatched couples where people ask themselves, "What's he/she doing with him/her?"
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03-25-2012, 03:15 PM
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#12
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Guest
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yep. went the jealousy route and now i have another problem: he's become mister grabby. from the time i started to show pregnancy up to about two wks ago, the number of intimate moments (and they *were* "moments") could be counted on both hands with enough fingers left over to dial 1-800-WAKE-ME-UP-WHEN-ITS-OVER. our daughter, i should mention, just turned 5. years.
suddenly he's after me 24/7 - i told him not without rubbers, he's refusing to buy them - "tomorrow, come on, i'll get some tomorrow".
i'm starting to feel this is an extreme sabotage attempt - figures if he gets me knocked up, i'll have to quit dieting.
little does he know that when i was pregnant with our daughter, i weighed 180 and two drs - my family dr and the ob/gyn at the high risk clinic - both said they were perfectly fine if i weighed less at the end of the pregnancy than i did at the start (basically, eat a minimal clean diet and take really excellent supplements).
i need a chastity belt.
Last edited by threenorns; 03-25-2012 at 03:15 PM.
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03-25-2012, 08:17 PM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 986
Height: 5'6
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My hubby loves how I look now. We've been married for 15 years and together for 20 and quite honestly, can't keep his hands off me, lol. My older son, who's almost 11, said to us recently that we remind him of a couple of teenagers. I did this for me but I never counted on what it would do for us, you know?
Last edited by fitmom; 03-25-2012 at 08:18 PM.
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03-25-2012, 08:45 PM
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#14
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Guest
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day-um - if i looked like you, i'd need a full-body titanium corset to keep him off me!
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03-26-2012, 09:16 AM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 986
Height: 5'6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by threenorns
day-um - if i looked like you, i'd need a full-body titanium corset to keep him off me!
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You're too sweet. You totally made this 40-year-old's day!
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