Featherweights For those with just a few pounds, or trying to lose those last few pounds.

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Old 02-07-2012, 09:47 AM   #1  
say what?
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Ha Feathers,

I've just read this post in the 100lb group and it made me think about something I notice as a fleeting thought on here.

We featherweights can get quite caught up in losing those last few lbs. It's like them pounds are THE thing that keeps us from enjoying the body we have already worked so hard for. Sometimes I see people that look at low-range BMI worry about their fat and I just wonder if it's just a matter of words or also feeling.

So, do you sincerely (still) see yourself as fat?

Thanks!

I'll answer my own question in a seperate post.
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Old 02-07-2012, 09:58 AM   #2  
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Yes and No.

I have a different perspective than most of the featherweights here—I was very obese in high school. I saw a lot of girls whine that they were fat when they were at a weight I would be dreamed to be at. It was demoralizing and depressing to realize that I was sort of "off the charts" for them in terms of fatness.

When I started to lose weight I began to feel great at weights that they talk about in that thread. I felt really great at 170 even though I was still 30lbs overweight. I felt really awesome at 160, and I kept feeling awesome as I went down. I remember seeing a lot of people's tickers and thinking "really? I feel great here!"

Yet I still felt (and feel) fat too. I still think of myself as fat sometimes even though I know I am far from it! I don't know if it's because mentally I still do not view myself as the size I am or it's because I'm just falling into the trap of never feeling adequate enough.

Sometimes I try to think of what would happen should the person I am now run into the person I was about a year and a half ago. If I said "I'm fat" to the old me, she would probably rip me a new one. Sometimes thinking that way puts things into perspective and helps me realize how far I've come.

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Old 02-07-2012, 10:39 AM   #3  
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Yes for me. No in other people standards. What I mean is, this is my starting weight and the fattest for my body. While the weight I'm at now is some people's ending goal weight. It is the heaviest and beg of my weight loss journey. I do not think I should have this much fat on my bones and body type. So yes for me think I am 'overweIght'
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Old 02-07-2012, 10:54 AM   #4  
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I've never seen myself as fat. At my highest weight ever, about 4 years ago (155 lbs), I thought I looked vaguely chubby, but otherwise, no. I'm pear-shaped and have ALWAYS looked pretty skinny waist-up. It's those darned legs....>_>;;
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Old 02-07-2012, 11:16 AM   #5  
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No. I'm 8lbs away from a healthy weight, I just fit into my first size 4 pants every in my life this week, I'm in pretty much the smallest bra band that most bra manufacturers carry, and I look pretty normal compared to society's standards (not talking about the media here, though).

I've been fat and I still have some fat on me but there's not even a comparison to where I started at All it means is that my journey isn't quite done yet but for the most part I really do love my new body. Certainly, I'd love it more if my stomach would catch up to the rest of my body, but, hey, nothing in life is perfect, so really what am I complaining about.

I just can't in anyway describe myself as fat anymore. It doesn't make sense considering that 40% of adults where I live are overweight/obese.
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Old 02-07-2012, 11:23 AM   #6  
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In my mind, yes. I still have this chubby little things around my waist that drive me nuts, and nobody can try to tell me that I don't need to lose more weight. Even if, without being ''skinny'', in reality I have a healthy figure.

I had as a goal weight 140 lbs from the start, and maybe it's in my head, but I probably won't feel ''complete'' until I reach it. And even there, there is always things that we don't like about our bodies...

I consider every weight loss process as a really personnal process, so to me my journey is as legitimate as the journey of someone who as over 100 lbs to loose. If it's to me more healthy and more confident in your own skin, every weight loss journey is legitimate
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Old 02-07-2012, 12:25 PM   #7  
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I've been into weightlifting, running, and other cardio for 20 years, so, honestly, I have a very narrow range within which I think that someone is truly fit. I also remember how people used to look. I remember that we were not always this size. So that, too, colors my perception. Do I think that there are many beautiful women out there who are overweight? Absolutely. But I also do think that they are overweight. Just as many people today may think that someone is getting too thin who is still outside a normal BMI—because what is normal has changed over the years—in my world, normal has always been thin and fit, with a body-fat percentage that leans toward the athletic. You evaluate the world around you based on what you know.

So, at my highest weight of 129, although I was wearing a size 2, it was today's size 2, and I still didn't think I was the right size for my frame, and I wanted more of my muscle to show. Yes, I felt I was overweight. Did I think other people thought that about me? No, not unless they were as into fitness as I. I have never technically been overweight. But I definitely thought it about myself.

I think that's the difference right there. I thought I was overweight—too overweight for my fitness goals if not technically overweight—but not fat. But, then, I don't tend to think of anyone as fat. I don't like that word.

What do I think now? I think I'm fit. I think all my hard work in the gym really shows. I'm a perfectionist, though, so I am always going to be critical of myself. It's something I have lived with my entire life. But I've gotten a lot better at accepting what I can't change and loving how strong I am. And even when I was 20 pounds heavier, I was always proud of myself for trying to eat right, maintaining a normal weight, and exercising harder than anyone I knew. Since the day I accepted the fact that I was never going to be that tall girl walking down the runway, I have concentrated my energies on being a powerful petite woman.

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Old 02-07-2012, 01:05 PM   #8  
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No and Yes ... I was never considered "overweight" by BMI (though I was close at my HW). But my body fat % when I had it checked professionally was in the "obese" category. So technically I may not weigh too much and I may not wear large clothing sizes but I have way too much of my body consisting of FAT. And it definitely shows! I am small-framed so the extra fat really shows up. I see lots of photos of women at my height who weigh 10, 20, 30 lbs+ more than I do and they look faaaaar better due to lower body fat % and different distribution (usually more up top compared to my extreme pear shape).

As a side note, I have struggled for more than THREE YEARS to "get it together" and have only managed to keep off less than 10 lbs and probably very few body fat % points. I get very frustrated with myself, not just because I feel "fat" or am consumed with losing a few pounds to reach a "goal" weight, but because I have unhealthy habits that so far I haven't been able to break.

Last edited by EmmaD; 02-07-2012 at 01:10 PM. Reason: typo
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Old 02-07-2012, 02:12 PM   #9  
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You know, I'm convicted when I read the thread the OP mentioned. Convicted of how silly I am at times. I know I am not fat. I have vanity pounds to lose, and not really many of those. But here's the thing. I really, really HATE those vanity pounds. I'm an apple, which means all my fat goes to my stomach. So I have skinny arms, skinny legs and a big muffin top. I think I look out of proportion. I want my middle to be in line with the rest of me. So sometimes, I do look in the mirror and call myself fat. (A word I would never use about anyone else...why I think it's okay to call myself that is interesting.) But it's all in my head. And when I read that thread, I am reminded of how lucky I am to not have to struggle with real weight issues. My story can't compare to lots of women on this forum. Kudos to them.
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Old 02-07-2012, 02:14 PM   #10  
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This is hard. I was overweight when I was a kid and when I was in college. My weight has done some serious yo-yo-ing and I think my image and perception of myself has, too.

Right now I am a healthy weight and fit into small sizes, but I'm out of shape and everything jiggles. I've been much more fit in the past with better habits and feel kind of crappy about it sometimes. However I'm too lazy to whip myself into better shape, so I guess for now I'm complacent. People call me skinny and sometimes I can see it, but all it takes is a couple women who are thinner and fitter than me to walk by and suddenly I feel awkward and fat again.
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Old 02-07-2012, 02:21 PM   #11  
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Yes, and I'm worried I always will.
I know the number is less, I know my size is smaller. I recognize that people look at and treat me differently. These are facts, but when I look in the mirror I see the same me I always see. It's not the 192 lb me, or the 140 lb me, it's probably the 170 lb me. I don't know if that's because I spent awhile at that weight, or what.
I too have a goal, and I plan to stick with it until I get there. I don't think it's so unattainable. Would I love to be in the shape of a fitness model, **** yes. Do I work my butt off every day to try to get there, you bet. Will I ever see it if I do? I'm not sure, and that fact scares the crap out of me.
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Old 02-07-2012, 02:39 PM   #12  
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I really feel compelled to say something at this point about the way the issues of featherweights and the issues of the considerably overweight are always so carefully divided. And that something is:

It's really not that simple.

I'm sorry, but it isn't. I have been working on staying at a normal weight for 25 years. Twenty-five years!! In college I went through a period of anorexia. I also went through a period after college where pretty much all I did was work out. They call that anorexia athletica.

I have fought to lose weight year after year. And, then, when my weight would go back up, I fought to stay under 129.

Just because I never let myself get overweight does not mean that I haven't gone through H-E-double hockey sticks (because apparently you can't type the actual word here). I have. I finally feel like I am on a path where I am healthy and fit and comfortable with myself, but it took me most of my life to really get there.

So, I'm sorry, but being a featherweight is not all about vanity pounds. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Many of us have body dysmorphic disorder. Many of us have struggled to control our weight our whole lives. Many of us have lost and regained the same 5 lbs. 100 or more times. No, it's not 100 pounds, but it's the same 5 lbs. 100 or more times.

If I hadn't fought that hard, I probably would have gained 100 pounds. The battle to lose can be exhausting and traumatic no matter what you weigh.

So, do I think I am fat? No. Have I ever really thought I was fat? No. But I have been hypercritical of myself for most of my life. I have lived with that every single day. And I have kicked my own behind year in and year out—and have beaten up my heart and my soul along with it—to make sure I never had to face the reality of actually being overweight.

It hasn't been easy, by any means. And it has NEVER been something that I did because I was vain. And so, no, in answer to the unspoken question: I do not feel guilty or silly or wrong for worrying about a starting weight that so many here don't even have as a goal. I feel a little tortured. I feel a little tired. I feel a little sad that I do have this need to be perfect, and always have. But I don't feel like I should be embarrassed or sheepish or apologetic at all. I just feel like everyone else that I know: I feel like I'm still working on becoming the best version of myself that I can be—and that includes being happy in my own skin.

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Old 02-07-2012, 02:59 PM   #13  
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I started out morbidly obese so I think I'll always struggle with feeling fat. I have moments where I look at myself and think "whoa... your waist is tiny" or "I have nice legs." But overall I still feel chubby. I have readjusted my goals so I still have a long way to go. I don't know if I should even consider myself a featherweight. *sigh* this is a journey, that's for sure.
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Old 02-07-2012, 04:08 PM   #14  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Petite Powerhouse View Post
I really feel compelled to say something at this point about the way the issues of featherweights and the issues of the considerably overweight are always so carefully divided. And that something is:

It's really not that simple.

I'm sorry, but it isn't. I have been working on staying at a normal weight for 25 years. Twenty-five years!! In college I went through a period of anorexia. I also went through a period after college where pretty much all I did was work out. They call that anorexia athletica.

I have fought to lose weight year after year. And, then, when my weight would go back up, I fought to stay under 129.

Just because I never let myself get overweight does not mean that I haven't gone through H-E-double hockey sticks (because apparently you can't type the actual word here). I have. I finally feel like I am on a path where I am healthy and fit and comfortable with myself, but it took me most of my life to really get there.

So, I'm sorry, but being a featherweight is not all about vanity pounds. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Many of us have body dysmorphic disorder. Many of us have struggled to control our weight our whole lives. Many of us have lost and regained the same 5 lbs. 100 or more times. No, it's not 100 pounds, but it's the same 5 lbs. 100 or more times.

If I hadn't fought that hard, I probably would have gained 100 pounds. The battle to lose can be exhausting and traumatic no matter what you weigh.

So, do I think I am fat? No. Have I ever really thought I was fat? No. But I have been hypercritical of myself for most of my life. I have lived with that every single day. And I have kicked my own behind year in and year out—and have beaten up my heart and my soul along with it—to make sure I never had to face the reality of actually being overweight.

It hasn't been easy, by any means. And it has NEVER been something that I did because I was vain. And so, no, in answer to the unspoken question: I do not feel guilty or silly or wrong for worrying about a starting weight that so many here don't even have as a goal. I feel a little tortured. I feel a little tired. I feel a little sad that I do have this need to be perfect, and always have. But I don't feel like I should be embarrassed or sheepish or apologetic at all. I just feel like everyone else that I know: I feel like I'm still working on becoming the best version of myself that I can be—and that includes being happy in my own skin.
I don't think anyone is trying to trivialize the experiences of someone who hasn't been overweight but has fought smaller amounts pounds (i.e. a true featherweight in that sense) but we're highlighting the differences between someone who has always been within the normal weight range vs someone who has been overweight or even obese.

It's hard to understand if you've never been there. I find that I can sympathize with both featherweights and those in the 100lb club because I've been there. I know how it feels to be stigmatized, ostracized and made to feel like less of a person because you are truly fat. I know the struggle of trying to be healthy and get to the gym when you have no !@$@# idea how to do it. Yet I also know how it is to be at a healthy weight and have stubborn pounds that you know you need to lose and how when you're short each pound truly does make a difference. I know how to be healthy and the joys of weight lifting, challenging my body, feeling stronger and watching as I the muscle I worked hard to build is finally revealed. I know how it feels to always "want to lose more."

That said, I think we're all a lot more similar than we realize. I mean, yes, a person who has 100lbs to lose would look at a featherweight and scoff because they can't even imagine being in the healthy weight range and wanting to lose more, but chances are both groups have similar goals and start losing weight, getting fit, whatever it is because they are unhappy with the way they are.

We all work hard—it's a never ending battle to stay in shape and make sure you're healthy. I anticipate to be struggling and watching my weight my entire life. While a featherweight might be fighting to stay away from being overweight period—I'm fighting to stay away from it because I know how it is and don't want to experience it again.

Like you I don't think it's being vain to want to be a certain weight or stay within a certain range. If I was completely vain I'd be running to a plastic surgeon to get rid of this extra skin and stretch marks. But I not, I just want to be healthy and feel comfortable in my body.

I think as a society we've become a bit too comfortable with extra poundage and a sedentary lifestyle. We're "obsessed" if we go to the gym more than once in a while and we're freaks if we avoid certain vices to ensure health. Not to mention us women are told not to lift weights because we might "bulk up!" ugh!

I'm kind of rambling now, but my views have really changed since I got down in the lower weights. At first I couldn't stand the featherweights forum, but as I dropped weight, became more critical of my body and pushed myself physically, I realized how much of a struggle it was no matter WHERE you are in your journey to health.
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Old 02-07-2012, 04:32 PM   #15  
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I know that you are absolutely right: there is a huge difference between feeling discouraged about your own weight and knowing that you are being judged for it by others. In fact, at my highest weight, I was hugely upset at the gym once by a man who came over to me at the weight bench and told me he could help me burn fat on the treadmills if I were willing. He was probably a trainer looking to score a new client, but I was so upset I ran into the locker room and hid in one of the rooms with a door while I struggled to get over the fact that I was sure he was calling me fat. That happened once, and it still stings. So I can only imagine what it is like to be judged daily.

I haven't grown up completely without being judged. I still remember every veiled comment my father ever made about me being overweight, for example. I never was. I just wasn't 6' 2" and rail thin like my brother. But I absolutely have never had to experience the kinds of things that those who are significantly overweight go through all the time.

I'm not ranting at that thread, by the way. It's actually very neutral and well thought out. But it did make me think about all the times I have seen people make comments about "us vs. them" in this forum.

Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 02-07-2012 at 04:48 PM.
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