[mammasita]

The last week or so, people have been noticing that I'm losing weight *Finally *. It's great and I feel great......

Here's the part I don't understand...

It's no secret I've been at this point before, and have....well, failed. I don't want to go down that road again. As soon as people start noticing and complimenting me, I feel like thats some kind of permission to deviate. First a little, then a little more. Eventually, I fall back into old habits which will eventually lead to a cycle of binge eating and then me down the road gaining everything back and then some.

I'm not really sure how else to handle this feeling of "permission" other than being MORE diligent and sticking to my plan.

Thoughts?

[StephanieM]

You have to condition yourself to think differently, which probably won't be easy. When you work out, think about their compliments and use it as a reason to push yourself harder so they will keep coming. When you eat right, remember the good feelings you get from them noticing your weight loss to re-affirm your choice to eat right in the first place.

This is what I did, because I would tend to slip back at times when I felt like "well, if I look good then I deserve a treat"

Keep up the hard work, don't give up!

[Lovely]

I think that recognizing the pattern is a great step. An enormous step. And finding a way around it might not be easy, but it is possible.

It could be that you merely being aware of what happened in the past will be enough to get beyond it. Reminding yourself occasionally that "this is not permission to return to old habits" is a good thing. Or possibly even give yourself a mental nudge when you get those compliments. "That's right. I am lookin' good, because of all the healthy things I've been doing. I'll keep doing them!"

For a while you might have to routinely add "being mindful" to your list of things to do. At least until you get through the permission phase.

Lastly, Kudos on all your hard work and glad that others around you are noticing!

[Sunshine73]

At least you've recognized the pattern now so you can address the behavior tendencies that come along with it. Do you know why you feel the need to slack off a bit when people start to notice? Is it just that you feel good you're making progress and feel you deserve a treat or is it something more than that?

I ask because tend to do the same thing but for me it's not that I think "hey I've done a good job b/c they're all noticing so I can allow myself some slack" - it's more of a deep feeling of panic that people are noticing my weight loss. I think I'm afraid to have people notice me and I'm afraid to have people noticing my weight loss because I'm afraid that I'll fail and they'll secretly judge me for my failure so better to just derail myself right there.

Wow - what a convoluted mess lies inside my brain! The point is that once I realized WHY I was derailing myself I could deal with it. I can talk myself through the behaviors that try to creep in by reminding myself of why I'm doing what I'm doing, etc.

[Nadya]

I try to focus on my past mistakes. If I know doing X will cause Y, I avoid X. For example, I know that if I give myself permission to have "just this one snack" and then I don't watch myself, I can get out of control rather easily. So I don't really give myself full permission to eat junk...only partial - "You can have half of this...and chew slowly!" I can spread something out way better when I do. To help with this, I'll surf the web or read while I eat so it takes longer. For example, I am currently working my way through a turkey sandwich. I'm only two bites in.

[Rapunzel]

It's a trap! Don't fall for it!!

[jenjulia]

Mammasita- I think everyone's given some good advice that I'm going to try to use too! I'm right there with you- People started noticing my weight loss around Thanksgiving (about the same weight loss lbs that you are at). I'll admit that I haven't lost that much since that point- 15 lbs? Injuries, Christmas, Vacation, lots of excuses! In the past I would have gained weight back not continued to lose it. I don't know if any of what has worked for me will work for you but here's what I've done.

I have some of my bigger clothes that I try on from time to time. I can really see the difference when I try them on and it keeps me motivated to NOT gain the weight back.

My husband has taken pictures of me at different weights in my swimsuit. Yikes!

I sometimes have to force myself to drink water first before eating something because I might not be hungry- might be thirsty. This is HARD sometimes, lol.

I try to keep those 100 calorie packs of almonds in my purse, gym bag, car, etc...so that I have some protein nearby to snack on if I get hungry and I'm on the run. Otherwise I'd pick a bad snack. Again, this is a mental thing that I still struggle with.

I try to give myself a break and have the bad snack/meal sometimes. I have had bad eating habits for 20+ years. I've started to realize that I'm not going to fix that completely in 6 months. If I restrict myself too much it just makes me crave/binge more. If I don't let myself eat what I want once in a while, I won't be able to steer towards my goal.

I don't know if that will help you or not but these have helped me. The mental thing is hard to get over. I've been there a 100 times. I used to lose 25 lbs and then regain because I couldn't stick to it. So far I've lost 52 lbs. Everyday is a struggle. I read somewhere that even really fit people struggle with eating/exercise. That makes me feel better!

Originally Posted by Sunshine73

I ask because tend to do the same thing but for me it's not that I think "hey I've done a good job b/c they're all noticing so I can allow myself some slack" - it's more of a deep feeling of panic that people are noticing my weight loss. I think I'm afraid to have people notice me and I'm afraid to have people noticing my weight loss because I'm afraid that I'll fail and they'll secretly judge me for my failure so better to just derail myself right there.
.

Don't beat yourself up!! I've felt the same way too. I bet there are more of us out there that feel that way than you think.

[mammasita]

Wonderful responses. Thank you everyone.

I do feel like acknowledging that this is an issue for me by posting here will help me better deal. I didn't add this in my OP, but along with this feeling of "rewarding myself", I'm beginning to fall of the wagon with my morning exercise. I think that's a major factor in me feeling a little weak right now.

First commitment is to stick with the AM workouts and even tack on an extra 10-15 minutes (if I have the time). That's my first line of defense

[luckymommy]

I've done this type of self sabotage many times so I know how it is. This time, I'm asking myself one simple question....where will all of the weight gain end? I then realize that there is no end to how much I can gain so what's the point of going off track? Does this make sense? It's not like if I go back to my old eating habits, I'll gain the weight I lost and just stay there. Not me. Nope. I will binge myself to death. So for me, it's just a matter of making a choice every day not to eat myself to death. I hope this makes some sense!

[Candeka]

I am horrible for rewarding myself. If I get to a mini-goal, then I feel like I can eat anything in the world. It used to be so bad that at the end of EACH DAY, if I ate good, I would think I deserve a treat (and by treat, I don't mean a small piece of chocolate, I mean like the whole damn chocolate bar and then some!). I was completely delusional. Now however, I am starting to accept that this "treat" idea is just my food dependence. Food should not be a reward. It should be something that you eat to survive.