Hello all. I turned 40 this year, which means mammogram-time! I had it done on November 7, not as bad as I anticipated - however, got a call about two weeks later saying I needed to come in again. I was told that since this was my "baseline" mammogram and because I was young, that I might need to come in for more tests.
When I called, they said there was an abonormal spot - but again, not unusual for someone my age to have "dense breasts" that need more tests.
I went in and had another mammogram on my right breast - waited there for results. About 20 minutes later, I was told they needed to perform an ultrasound. I started getting nervous.
Got into the ultrasound room quickly and had that done. Apparently, I have calcifications in my right brest that might indicate a problem. After the ultrasound, the doctor wanted a breast biopsy done.
That was last Monday (12/5) and the earliest they could get me in for the biopsy is 12/12 (I asked for an early week appointment since it takes 2 business days to get results, I didn't want it done later in the week and have to wait additional days over a weekend).
Last week I had a terrible week of binges. I would do okay during the day, but in the evening, I started binging. The trend is continuing this week - I have already regained 4 pounds in the last two weeks and I'm just a wreck.
My mother had breast cancer when she was 49 and my father died from lymphoma at age 62. My niece is a leukemia survivor and both of my father's parents died of cancer. 5 of my father's 8 first cousins died of cancer.
So, I'm freaked. I'm not thinking of it constantly, and even when I binge, it is not top-of-mind, but I understand that it's causing a lot of stress. I am trying desperately not to think of it, to continue going to the gym and working out and trying to eat well, but my eating is just out of control (causing me even more stress)!
Anyway, I'm just starting to get frustrated with myself. I know I am not going to erase all that I've worked for this year in the span of a couple weeks, but I haven't had two weeks of gaining in a row all year - and to see my weight creep back up is making me really sad.
I'm a breast cancer survivor myself so I do know what you are going through. Yes, it is unsettling, very much so. It is downright scary.
However, as I am sure you know, binge eating will not solve the problem.
On a plus side, whatever is going on with your breasts, you are getting a jump-start on dealing with it. Medical science has progressed by leaps and bounds over the past few years in how to deal with such matters. And you are obviously in good hands medically.
So relax as much as you can, take a deep breath, and deal with whatever needs to be dealt with. Be assured that you are on my prayer list, and do keep us posted on your situation.
Venting here helped a bit? I'm sure it did. That's one of the benefits of being a member of 3fc.
Thank you so much, JoJoJo - and you are absolutely correct, the binges aren't helping in the least. While I am actually doing it, it tastes good, of course - but afterwards I physically feel terrible and the guilt/stress is 10x worse. I struggle to understand what my mind gets out of such episodes...and I am puzzled at the timing of my binges, as it never happens when I am actively thinking about the situation. Yesterday, I went to the grocery store to pick up leaf/yard bags (we were cleaning the yard) and almond milk, and I ended up buying (and consuming in the car) a Heath bar and a box of Junior Mints - I also bought two of the one-serving Skinny Cow ice creams (which I told myself my husband & I would eat after dinner) - but I ate those while he was still outside doing yardwork and I was tending to the chili.
I've remained steadfast all year - a few minor slip-ups, but the past two weeks have brought out that ugly binge-monster that I haven't seen for awhile.
Thanks again for your kind words, you have no idea how much it means.
Well, Heath bars are very tasty as I remember, and not all that big. Actually your binges won't help you in your weight-loss journey, but actually they are just a "blip" in the over-all picture.
Looking at your stats, you have lost a lot of weight. Congratulations to you, and of course you don't want to gain it all back. To gain 1 lb. you have to eat roughly 3,500 calories more than your body needs to maintain your current weight. And if you have lost 70 lbs. now, that 70 X 3,500 equals a lot, a huge lot, of calories. It would take a lot of Heath bars to do the dirty deed.
So relax a bit regarding the Heath bars and other foods that are not on your healthy eating menu, but now seem to be in your kitchen available for use.
December 12 seems to be a long time away, but that day will get here. And it is a rather interesting procedure they will be doing on you. It's the waiting that is tough.
Control your binges as best you can. Eat an extra apple, apples are so good for you. Think positive thoughts. And remember that you owe your husband one Skinny Cow ice cream cup. Poor man.
I understand perfectly what you are going through. I am in treatment for breast cancer now. I think it is encouraging that they aren't rushing you in for the biopsy. If a binge is what you need right now . So be it. I personally find a Mars candy bar to be very comforting. The urge will go away. A lot of advances have been made in cancer treatment, I am not suggesting that is what they will find, just reminding you to look on the positive side. I wish you the best.
My advice first is NOT to panic and expect bad news. It is going to be fine so back away from the potato chips and settle down. If they find something deal with it then, do not sit around and worry about something out of your control. I know it is easier to say then do, but for your own sake try hard. Much good luck to you and starting today, concentrate on whatever weight loss program you are using, put all your effort into that and let the other go. Face what you have to when it comes up, but don't assume anything!
Thanks so much to the three of you, I greatly appreciate it! I've always been one of those people that expects the worst outcome and in addition to trying to lose weight, I've been working hard on that, as well.
Today, I took a long walk at lunch and had a little revelation - no matter the outcome, I need to shape up and not spend the next week eating away at all my success - if it is nothing, I'm going to KICK myself for gaining so much back in a such a short time and if it is something, well, I'm going to need to be healthy and strong for what is to come. Losing weight and sticking to an exercise program all year has given me so much confidence, something I'll definitely need if I do have treatment. Thanks again for the encouragement, it's nice to come here for a dose of reality!
Bargoo - I wish you all the best in your treatment.
I'm also one who anticipates the worst of any situation. And I'm still working on that, too.
I think it is wonderful that you have worked so hard to lose the weight and to get yourself fit and healthy. Thereby you are prepared to deal with whatever needs to be dealt with, whether it is BC or anything else that comes along. And things will come along in your life that will make you say - "Oh, I am so glad I lost all that weight before I had to deal with this specific situation."
Breast biopsy stress eating :(
