This morning, while walking down the hallway at work, I had a coworker shout behind me "Hey skinny lady! You're looking gorgeous!"
When I put this on Twitter, I had a friend reply back with "So you were a dirtbag before? Sorry but I find comments like that annoying."
I mean, I understood her position, but it left me feeling deflated. I've lost 51 pounds so, yes, I am more gorgeous than I was 9, 10 months ago and I will own it. 311 pounds CAN be beautiful and sexy but it's a matter of attitude. I didn't feel happy or healthy or pretty or attractive at 311, but I do at 260 and I think the happiness on the inside is making me glow on the outside, adding to the whole gorgeous bit. I'm proud of what I've done, losing 51 lbs, and I know I still have a lot more to go, but finally for the first time feeling pretty -- and feeling pretty at 260 lbs -- has given me a level of confidence I haven't had before.
So, you know what? If someone wants to tell me I'm gorgeous, I'm going to thank them and not see it as backhanded or insulting or whatever. Because I happen to agree
(Yesterday, when another coworker stopped me to say how cute I was looking, she added "Well, you were cute before. Now you're just cutER.")
Sounds to me like your friend on Twitter is J-E-A-L-O-U-S. People who are unhappy with themselves have a hard time hearing other people being complimented.
Your coworker just validated what you already know. YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD GIRL!
So, you know what? If someone wants to tell me I'm gorgeous, I'm going to thank them and not see it as backhanded or insulting or whatever. Because I happen to agree
Amen. That is exactly what I would have told your friend who replied to your tweet!
I think the compliment was lovely. It's someone acknowleging your hard work and dedication. Your friend was completely off with her remark. It sounds as if she has a problem with accepting a compliment as just that, a compliment.
Whatever happened to, "If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all?" I guess she missed that lesson.
Your friend maybe wanted to let you know that she thought you were beautiful even before your weight loss, like every friend should do. Or maybe she was jealous, like others have proposed. I don't know.
I guess it is just hard for someone who isn't in a weight loss process to understand that compliment like that are so glad to hear. I know it's above all a matter of self acceptance and everything, but isn't it nice to see that people actually SEE the results, after all the efforts we put on it?
As a larger person "you're gorgeous" is not something you're (being any of us, not just you) used to hearing, even if you are....and it's an awesome thing to hear! To me, it shows that people are taking notice of your changes, which, don't we all want? Keep up the great work!!!! Lookin good
Don't get upset by somebody complimenting you. Maybe they don't know how to say a compliment without it sounding backhanded, but they just wanna tell you they are noticing the change, and it's great!
Compliments help with our motivation. Do not listen to other peoples malicious comments. They come out by someone elses insecurity and jelousy. Even though your beautiful, that self confidence will make it soar even further! everyone should be so proud of your accomplishments. I make it a habit to tell people that i am doing weight watchers. I want them to know, i get loads of loving comments from my co-workers. Havent had any snarky comments from anyone there, how ever i do get some strange looks from other chicks when i am out and about with my boyfriend. Its all good though! thats how i know i'm doing something right lol.
Your doing wonderful girl, i dont know you in person, but i am very proud of you, as i know a lot of people here are. Keep up your great work.
At this very moment? I can't say, but I know she has been in the past. She struggles with her weight, most definitely.
But thanks everyone for your comments. I honestly wasn't fishing for compliments, haha.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KatRat
As a larger person "you're gorgeous" is not something you're (being any of us, not just you) used to hearing, even if you are
I think that's it exactly. Up until the past month or so, I wasn't used to hearing that and never responded well when told it or something similar. I'd always brush off compliments or make a sarcastic self-deprecating comment or respond like my friend did.
But my acceptance with compliments now is only in partly because of my success. The other part is knowing it's true. My old self, no matter how much she liked to pretend and "fake it til ya make it" with regards to self confidence never actually believed it. But knowing I'm gorgeous or pretty or whatever has given me the motivation to keep going, even when I have a bad week or a small gain or whatever. For the first time I actually do believe I'm worth all the hard work I put into this, y'know?
What I love about my journey on WW this time (third time) is that it's not only given me a more healthy relationship with food, it's given me a more healthy relationship with ME
What I love about my journey on WW this time (third time) is that it's not only given me a more healthy relationship with food, it's given me a more healthy relationship with ME
And ultimately that is the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves! I think the compliment was indeed lovely. Hard to say what's going on with your Twitter friend, but she sounds like many people I know who simply can't see things in a positive way. I would bet she didn't mean to come off that way and she probably felt like she was defending/supporting you.
That said, I do kind of love what Jolina said ("Thank her for the heads up, and let her know that you won't give her a compliment when she loses 50 pounds...just so you don't annoy her" -- priceless and majorly effective!).
You're an inspiration, Rose. Truly. Not just your "numbers," but your attitude as well.
Last edited by JerseysGirl; 11-23-2011 at 09:10 AM.
compliments?
